


Sleeping Beauty

by Pepperweb



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Attempted Murder, Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation, Eventual Damen/Laurent, Eventual Smut, Explicit mention of Child Abuse, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Injury Recovery, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mentions of past abuse, Non-Consensual Touching, Past Child Abuse, Pining, Rated Explicit for later chapters, Sexual Assault, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Temporary Character Death, Which I obviously condemn, physical assault, smothering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2018-10-29 17:09:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 69,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepperweb/pseuds/Pepperweb
Summary: Damen is a nurse on the long-term intensive care ward.His new patient is a beautiful young man who's been in a coma for nine months.But something's not right, and as Damen tries hard to find out why he finds himself falling for someone who might never wake-up.Coverart by the amazing just-themys





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Everyone! New story time!  
> I have the whole thing planned out but I'm not sure of the chapter count yet. I can't guarantee regular updates but will try to get chapters up when I can.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I am not a nurse or a doctor and most of my knowledge about comas has come from google. If there's anything that needs desperately correcting please feel free to let me know! (although this is fic so suspending some belief is to be expected)  
> I do however, have a lot of experience of being a patient in hospital and having varous tests and scans and you will never hear me say a bad word about the NHS.  
> And yes, this is set in an NHS hospital because I cannot even begin to comprehend how healthcare (re: lack of healthcare) works in other countries.
> 
> This is for Lisa and Freya who are wonderful and encouraged me to write this fic :)
> 
> The coverart was commissioned by me and drawn by the wonderful @just-themys on tumblr.

 

 

 

Laurent floated.

 

The fog in his mind was back. It rolled in, like mist off the sea, covering him, shrouding him.

 

His thoughts were sluggish and he couldn’t make sense of them.

 

Images and sounds were getting jumbled in his brain again.

 

He couldn’t make sense of anything.

 

All he could do was doze and wait for the fog to shift.

 

His mind was a jumble. Sometimes he forgot. Sometimes he remembered.

He remembered things from before. Odd things.

Auguste grabbing him by the hand and pulling him under the desk in their father's study. Hiding from him and keeping quiet as he paced around for some books. Giggling together after it was over.

His father taking him to a cricket match. Explaining the rules over salmon sandwiches. Laurent delighting in the chess-like tactics of the long game.

His mother, lying in a hospital bed, pale and weak. Tubes and machines keeping her alive. The beep beep haunting his memory.

Beep beep.

He could still hear it.

Beep beep.

Beep beep

That was the noise that made him realise where he was.

_He_ was the one in hospital. _He_ was the one hooked up to the machines. _He_ was the one who was dying.

With that revelation, the beeps on the machine got faster; his heart rate accelerating.

Laurent wanted to rip the tubes away he wanted to smash the machine. _He was not dying._

But he couldn’t move.

He couldn’t move.

_He couldn’t move._

The machine was screaming now. His heart rate dangerously fast. He couldn’t breathe.

Voices around him, hands touching him. Something cold in his arm.

Then he was floating.

Again.

 

Laurent was smart. It didn’t take him long to figure out he was in a coma.

What he couldn’t figure out however was how it had happened.

That was something he couldn’t remember.

 

The doctors came.

They did tests. They touched him, examined him, poked him, prodded him.

At one point they opened his eyes and he could see blurry shapes in front of him. He blinked his eyes to clear them. There was some exciting chattering around him. Laurent held his eyes open. He saw several doctors in a room surrounding him, stethoscopes around their necks.

‘Laurent?’ asked one of the doctors, ‘Laurent can you hear me? Can you respond?’

He opened his mouth to talk.

And couldn’t.

His eyes fell shut. He couldn’t open them again.

‘Laurent? Can you respond? Can you open your eyes for us?’

Laurent couldn’t.  He tried so hard but he couldn’t.

He started to panic again and the machine wailed. It was like that until they calmed him down with drugs.

 

He drifted in and out. He realised he had “sleeping moments” and “waking moments”.

During “sleeping moments” he dreamt deeply. Odd, disturbing dreams; his subconscious playing tricks on him.

“Waking moments” were the ones where he could _think._ He was still unable to open his eyes but he felt awake, he was lucid.

He could hear people around him. He could feel their touches. He could try to figure out what was going on.

He thought of what little he knew.

He was in a coma. Had been for a few days? Had he? Time was hard to judge.

 

How had he ended up like this?

He listened to the doctors and nurses around him. They talked about an accident. Something about a car crash perhaps? Laurent wasn’t sure.

The words swelling on the brain were mentioned. Laurent tried not to panic at that. He felt fine. He had a permanent headache which sometimes got quite bad but besides that he had a functioning mind.

Functioning body was another matter.

For the life of him he could not move a single part of his body. He was sometimes able to hold his eyes open if someone opened them for him. This enabled him to get more sense of where he was.

He was a in a hospital room. There was a small window, a table, two chairs, a sink and a lot of machines. He couldn’t see the machines properly, but he could hear them. They made all sorts of noises and annoyed Laurent.

There was little he could do about it though until he got better. So he was determined to get better.

He tried hard. Really hard. Concentrated with all his might but nothing worked. He was trapped inside his body, unable to move.

It was beyond frustrating. The doctors tried different things, trying to get him to respond.

Laurent longed to answer them. Mainly to tell them to go away. They didn’t help to keep him calm and often just suggested more drugs which made his head fuzzy.

He needed Auguste here. Auguste would tell them to go away and then he’d say to Laurent ‘Come on, wake up little brother’ and Laurent would open his eyes and tell Auguste to piss off because he wasn’t so little anymore thank you very much.

But where was Auguste?

_Where was Auguste?_

Why hadn’t he visited? Laurent was confused. Then maybe he thought perhaps he’d missed him. He slept a lot and maybe his brother had come during one of his “sleeping moments”. But as time dragged on. Laurent started to worry.

What started as a small prick of doubt in the back of his mind, grew and grew and grew and soon he felt nauseous. His stomach was twisted and he felt sick.

There were few things Laurent knew with absolute certainty in life and one of them was that his brother loved him.

There could only be one reason why Auguste had not come.

 

And that was because he _couldn’t._

Laurent floated. And this time he didn’t try to think. He didn’t try to remember. He didn’t try to keep track of the time, he didn’t try to respond to the doctors. He didn’t even try to keep his eyes open anymore.

 

Auguste could be like him. In a coma perhaps, like Laurent, unable to move, to speak. He could be wondering where his brother was.

 

Laurent didn’t believe it.

 

Auguste would move the world to be with him.

If he wasn’t here it was because _he was no longer here._

 

Laurent let his grief consume him. It dragged him down until his thoughts were incoherent.

 

Why would he want to wake up? Why would he want to be in world without Auguste?

 

He was stuck in limbo. Unable to wake….unable to live….unable to die.

 

Laurent floated.

He gave up on waking up.


	2. Chapter 2

‘Good Morning Damen.’

‘Morning Sister’ said Damen good-naturedly, as he looked up from filling in a patient’s paperwork. ‘How was the game last night?’

‘We lost two-nil, absolute disgrace. Don’t know what the manager was thinking. Why they didn’t play goddamn football is beyond me. They looked like little boys waiting for someone to tell them what to do, and you think about all the money spent on that line up,’ Ward Sister Abi shook her head, ‘Sorry Damen, as you can tell I’m a little worked up this morning,’

‘That’s alright’ said Damen, ‘Nik’s team lost 3-nil so he’s in an even worse mood than you,’

‘Is he?’ Sister Abi asked, ‘I might go and have a moan with him then, you don’t need me whinging away and spoiling your morning, God knows mine’s already ruined. Oh! Before I forget,’ she said, ‘You’ve got a new patient in room twenty,’

‘Oh?’ asked Damen as he looked up on the large whiteboard with patients’ names written on.

‘Yeah, got transferred last night. Young male, twenty-three, car crash victim, been unresponsive ever since.’

‘How long’s he been out of it?’ he asked.

‘Nine months’ said Abi.

Damen grimaced.

‘I know, it’s a long time. Lost his family in the crash too. Whole bloody mess. Anyway, he’s been transferred here from the Princess Royal, with the hope that more specialist care would help. Or, in other words, they’ve run out of ideas over there,’

Damen raised his eyebrows, ‘Prognosis?’

‘Doctors are still undecided,’ said the Matron, ‘his vitals are pretty good apparently, the swelling on his brain has reduced substantially, the expectation is he would have started showing signs of consciousness by now; apparently there were some encouraging signs pretty early on, but now it seems he’s just being stubborn.’

‘So you’re giving him to me?’

‘Yes’ laughed the Ward Sister, ‘Maybe you’ve finally met your match,’

‘Sounds like a challenge,’ grinned Damen.

‘What’s that?’ came the voice of Nikandros -Damen’s best friend and colleague- coming down the corridor to the nurse’s station. ‘Who’s going to make Damen look like an idiot now?’

‘Particularly stubborn coma patient,’ replied Abi.

‘Brilliant,’ said Nikandros with a grin ‘for a second there I thought it was another one of the old ladies from ward seven. Damen’s helpless against them, turns into such a pushover,’

‘I do not!’ protested Damen.

‘Mate, you covered there for a week and they were all bossing you around from your first shift.’

‘Well his new patient won’t be bossing him around,’ said Abi, handing Damen a binder with the new coma patient’s details in. ‘Unresponsive for nine-months.’

Nikandros pulled a face, ‘That’s rough,’

Abi nodded, ‘That’s why I leave him in your capable hands gentlemen,’ she said and then changed the subject: ‘Nik I hear City didn’t do too well last night, make sure you come and drown your sorrows in strong coffee with me at the break. I might also be able to rustle up some chocolates for then too.’

‘Will do Sister’ said Nikandros with a two -fingered salute. Abi rolled her eyes and bustled off, spotting another nurse down the corridor.

‘You gonna deal with your new guy now?’ Nik said turning to Damen.

‘Yeah might as well’ said Damen, holding up his new patient’s folder, ‘You wanna give me a hand in a bit?’

‘Sure thing mate, I’ll just give Mrs Williams her meds and then I’ll be in, what room?’

‘Twenty’ replied Damen and Nikandros nodded, before moving off.

Damen flicked through the file as he headed to room twenty himself.

_Laurent DeVere, male, twenty-three…. involved in a serious car-crash…headlong collision…two other victims, declared dead at the scene….Mr DeVere, resuscitated and transferred by air ambulance to Princess Royal Hospital….initial x-rays show....…intensive care……unresponsive…….deteriorating….._

Damen shook his head. It did not make for light reading. Even after three years of working as a nurse on the longterm intensive care ward, he still wasn’t used to the horrible nature of the injuries and conditions of his patients, and he hoped he never would get used to it. The day treating someone who was incredibly sick and might never get better didn’t affect him was the day he stopped caring.

It was a hard profession but for Damen it was a vocation and it was worth it. It was worth it for the days his patients woke up and it was worth it even when they didn’t; because Damen knew he’d given them the best care he could and they had passed with love and dignity.

He tucked the file under his arm and opened the door to room twenty. It was dark inside, no-one had yet opened the curtains. Damen set the file down on a table by the door and strode across the room to open the windows.

‘Ah, that’s much better’ he said cheerfully as light flooded into the small room. Damen leaned over to the hand sanitiser dispenser and rubbing the gel into his hands he turned to get a good look at his new patient.

‘Now let’s see-‘ but Damen was stopped in his tracks at the first proper sight of the young man laid out on the bed in front of him.

He was beautiful.

Ethereal and pale, Laurent DeVere was laid on the hospital bed, propped up by several pillows and if it weren’t for the numerous tubes and lines running in and out of his body, he could be a prince awaiting a kiss to rouse him from eternal sleep. Soft blonde hair framed a sharp, angular face. Long eyelashes feathered out from eyelids that had been permanently closed for nine-months.

Damen breathed out. He didn’t think he’d seen anything so tragically beautiful.

For Laurent wasn’t just asleep. He was in a coma, being kept alive by the machines he was hooked up to. His skin wasn’t just pale it was pasty. There were dark smudges underneath his eyes. His face was gaunt and his hair a tangled mess. Limp arms lay on top over the covers, they looked almost brittle, months of non-movement had caused the muscles to waste away. He was thin and looked like he might break any second, he was that fragile.

Still, he was beautiful.

Damen’s heart went out to the young man; no-one deserved to have this happen to them.

Damen blinked hard and cleared his thoughts. Laurent didn’t need his pity, he needed care and understanding, patience and positivity. And that was something Damen could offer.

Moving closer and knowing that there was a chance that Laurent could hear him- quite often coma patients could – he said clearly, ‘Good morning Laurent. I am your new nurse, my name is Damen and I’m going to be taking very good care of you. You’ve been transferred to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital from the Princess Royal, which is where you were before, this is so you can get specialist care okay? You might be a bit disoriented but that’s okay, that’s normal.’

Damen went about his usual checks: assessing Laurent’s breathing, making sure his airways were clear; it was a positive sign he could breathe on his own, oxygen tubes at the entrance to his nose aside. He took Laurent’s pulse, preferring to take it with two fingers at his patient’s wrist instead of using the machine. It was slow and steady and Damen marked it against Laurent’s charts.

When it came to putting in the cuff for measuring Laurent’s blood pressure however he encountered difficulty keeping it in place. Laurent’s arm was so slender the cuff kept sliding out of place. Damen frowned, Laurent shouldn’t be this skinny, he was being fed balanced nutrition through a tube. Muscle wastage was expected but fat reserves should remain stable. He did manage to get a reading for the blood pressure after wrangling with the machine and made a mental note to change the cuff next time.

He also took Laurent’s temperature and pricked his finger to measure his blood sugar too.

He recorded all of the results against Laurent’s charts from his previous hospital and that’s when he noticed, these latest results were not consistent with the past couple of days, heck couple of weeks, if not months. Damen flicked through the results, checking to find something that would explain why his observations weren’t the same as ones taken only days before. Damen was confused, he had done everything correctly, why was there such a difference?

Damen paused on one of the pages and said out-loud, ‘Hmmm Laurent, when was your last feed? It doesn’t seem to have been written down.’ It was odd, there was a blank box where Laurent’s liquid nutrition should have been filled in.

Damen refused to get worried, his experience in this job led him to do a few more checks. The saline drip was still going fine so Laurent was hydrated, but Damen carefully pulled back the covers from his patient and said ‘Right Laurent, I’m just going to feel your stomach okay? ‘ Damen rubbed his hands together so they weren’t too cold, and sitting on the bed gently lifted up the flimsy hospital gown covering Laurent.

Damen felt his stomach, pressing down firmly on certain areas and then listening through his stethoscope. Satisfied he had an answer, he carefully covered Laurent in the gown and resettled the bedcovers before speaking, ‘Right Laurent, I’m slightly concerned that you haven’t been fed for a while so I’m going to go make you something up and then we’ll get that down you, how does that sound?’ he paused, as if waiting for an answer but unperturbed at there being none he smiled and left the room.

 

As he was finishing off preparing Laurent’s feed in the Nurses’ supply room, Nikandros caught up with him.

‘Jesus Christ Damen.’

‘What?’

‘Your new patient, that’s what.’

‘Oh Laurent?’

‘Yes you idiot. Why didn’t you say that he looked like that?’

‘Looked like what?’ said Damen, forcing his voice to stay level.

Nikandros shut the door.

‘Looked like something out of one of your wet dreams that’s what.’ Which caused Damen to nearly spill all the mixture he’d been busy making for Laurent.

‘Nik, that’s wholly inappropriate,’ he said.

‘Still, it’s true though,’ said Nikandros bluntly folding his arms.

‘What do you want me to say?’ asked Damen exasperatedly. ‘He’s beautiful yes, but he’s sick, he’s in a fucking coma, he’s my patient and I’m responsible for taking care of him. Oh, and in case you forgot, I’m in a relationship thank you very much, with Jokaste.’

‘Well you know my feelings on that,’ said Nikandros with a huff.

‘I do, and I don’t want to hear them again. You’re my best friend Nik but don’t push it. As if I’d let myself get my head turned by a patient, and as if I would let it affect my level of care in any way.’

‘He’s a very _blonde_ patient,’ muttered Nikandros but Damen was done with this conversation.

‘Just come help me weigh him,’ said Damen moving past Nikandros and carrying the large plastic bottle of liquid feed.

Back in Laurent’s room Damen set the bottle down and helped Nikandros manoeuvre the weighing crane so it was beside Laurent’s bed. Carefully between them, and minding the various wires trailing from Laurent they managed to get the sling underneath his fragile body. Gently the crane lifted and Damen supported Laurent’s head whilst Nikandros clocked the weight.

Once they’d settled Laurent back onto the bed they propped him up with numerous pillows ready for his feed. Damen reopened the folder of notes and frowned down at the page.

‘What’s up?’ asked Nikandros, finishing sorting Laurent’s pillows.

‘Nik come tell me I’m not seeing things,’ said Damen and something in his tone made Nikandros hurry around the bed to the folder in Damen’s arms.

‘Here,’ said Damen pointing to Laurent’s weight chart for the past 9 months.

It took Nikandros a few moments, Damen could see his eyes scanning the numbers written down over consecutive months whilst Laurent had been unconscious. Damen saw the point when confusion hit.

‘Wait. _What?’_ said Nik and he tugged the folder from Damen and strode over to the window as if the sunlight would help make the charts more clear.

There were a few moments and then Nikandros whirled around, clutching the folder tight in his hands, ‘Something’s not right, is it the machine?’

Damen shrugged ‘Can’t be, I used it to weigh another patient earlier this morning and it was fine.’

‘But Damen, there’s almost ten kilos difference between the last measurement and Laurent’s weight now.’

Damen’s jaw clenched, his brain was thinking fast, first the basic observations from before, now _this?_ ‘We’ve got to be certain,’ he said.

All in all, Damen and Nikandros weighed Laurent four more times, and even called in ward eighteen’s weighing crane. At the end of the ordeal Damen was apologising profusely to Laurent. His patient had been jostled and buffeted about quite a bit and Damen couldn’t help but feel guilty that Laurent’s previously smooth blonde hair was now all messy and knotted. He wanted to tuck some of the strands behind Laurent’s ears but knew the look Nikandros would give him if he did. So he apologised instead.

‘Damen, stop talking,’ said one very hot and bothered Nikandros, ‘I doubt Laurent cares and  besides, if all of that didn’t wake him then he’s in deep and probably can’t hear you.’

‘I just feel bad,’ said Damen, wiping his forehead which was beaded with sweat. Laurent may be small but he was still deadweight and they’d had to be careful moving him.

‘So we’re agreed, the previous measurements are utter bullshit,’ said Nikandros.

‘Yes,’ said Damen, ‘and it’s making me doubt everything else in his file. If it didn’t have his name on it I’d swear these notes weren’t his.’

‘Any chance they aren’t?’ said Nikandros coming around to flick through the folder for what must have been the tenth time that morning. ‘I mean some of the details are defiantly his, there’s an early x-ray scan in there and descriptions of the superficial wounds, but Damen, where’s the initial trauma assessment report? Where’s his MRI scans? I’m assuming he had several if he had head trauma. Mate, there’s loads of information missing from here.’

Damen moved over to examine the files alongside Nikandros. His friend was right, it was like reading a story with several key chapters missing. On some sheets there seemed to be references to results of which there was no copy included. On other pages there were lines of results but no explanation. Several pieces of paper were just covered in illegible scrawls, which neither nurse could make out at all. All in all, Laurent’s folder was extremely sparse in accurate information for an intensive care inpatient of nine months.

‘This is a complete joke,’ he said, ‘What we’re Princess Royal thinking only sending us, what _half?_ Of the information we need?’

‘Half would be more than this,’ responded Nik closing the folder with a bit more force than was necessary, his annoyance showing.

Damen tried to contain his anger. He had to prioritise his patient’s care right now, he could deal with this fiasco of a notes folder later.

‘Right,’ he said breathing out carefully, ‘I’m going to give Laurent his feed then, he’s straight-up underweight from our measurements so we need to get to work on that as soon as we can. I don’t trust his previous results. We go from today’s measurements, today is the start of his care here, and we’re gonna do it right.’

‘And then what are you going to do?’ asked Nikandros  tearing his gaze from where he’d been staring at Laurent to look Damen.

‘Then, I’m going to find out the truth,’ said Damen resolutely.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damen starts to dig around for more information about Laurent.

 Laurent wasn’t sure what it was that pulled him from the depths of sleep into a state of awareness.

He was vaguely aware of familiar sounds, the beep-beep of his machines, the sound of his own breathing, someone-  presumably a nurse- moving around and opening the curtains.

Although it was odd that the curtains were now on the opposite side of the room....

Laurent would have frowned in confusion if he could.

He could distantly hear a voice, it was a male voice. Perhaps it was a doctor, he tried to tune in, focusing on the words.

‘Good morning Laurent. I am your new nurse, my name is Damen and I’m going to be taking very good care of you.’

 _‘Ughhhhh’_ Laurent thought sluggishly.  ‘ _I really couldn’t care less.’_ It seemed he’d moved hospital too. Not that it made a difference. And it was true; nurses came and went. He’d had so many by now they could easily all blur into one another. However,  despite this he remembered each  and every one of their names so if he ever woke up he’d be able to find them.

For you see, Laurent had had lots of nurses, and not all had been kind. In fact, most of them hadn’t.

It had started with the remarks. Saying things about him and his brother, as if he couldn’t hear.

He heard all of it.

Then had come the pinching, the hair pulling and the withholding of food, as if he couldn’t feel any of it.

He felt all of it.

And finally, then they’d let his uncle visit.

 

Laurent did not have a forgiving nature, and it had transformed into something that was downright vengeful. So he remembered every name until the time when he was awake and could ruin the lives of everyone who had ever touched him, hurt him.

 _If_ he woke.

Laurent could feel his mind wanting to submerge back down to the peaceful depths of sleep. He filed the name ‘Damen’ away and settled back down.

 

 

Only to be roused what felt like second later by a large amount of jostling.

Several times he felt his body being manhandled and lifted up in one of those weighing cranes.

He hadn’t been weighed in a very long time; not since they’d started systematically starving him.

And now it seemed that these two nurses Damen and Nik- another name stored in his memory- were utterly incompetent and unable to get a measurement they were happy with.

They were being somewhat careful with him at least. Supporting his head and arms and being mindful of his wires. But it never seemed to end, why were they messing around this much?

He had tuned out their mindless chatter sometime ago, but he refocused his mind so he could understand the words they were saying.

‘-really, really sorry’.

‘Damen, stop talking,’ said one of the nurses breathlessly, ‘I doubt Laurent cares and besides, if all of that didn’t wake him then he’s in deep and probably can’t hear you.’

 _How little you know_ thought Laurent.

‘I just feel bad,’ said Damen.

Laurent, if he were able to move, probably would have clenched his fists in frustration. He didn’t want _pity._ Pity was no help to anyone, least of all him. This nurse just wanted to make himself feel better for being a bungling idiot.

‘So we’re agreed, the previous measurements are utter bullshit,’ said Nikandros.

‘Yes,’ said Damen, ‘and it’s making me doubt everything else in his file. If it didn’t have his name on it I’d swear these notes weren’t his.’

So it seemed these nurses had finally caught on had they? Took them long enough. Laurent wasn’t naive; he knew that nothing would change. Nurses came and nurses went.

He let his mind drift again and waited for the inevitable return of the low level abuse. Maybe his uncle would come...it had been a while…

Laurent sank down where none of it could bother him. It was one of the luxuries he had; mindless oblivion.

 

***

Damen woke to the sound of his alarm going off. He reached over and turned it off before stretching like a cat and groaning. Why couldn’t he just stay under the covers a bit more? He liked early shifts as a rule but still, a cosy bed was cosy.

Yawning, he turned over and looked to the rest of the large bed to find it empty. And not just empty, unslept in.

Damen frowned  and reached back for his phone. There was his last message to Jokaste. Telling her he’d gone to bed early because he was on an early shift and saying the door was unlocked for her.

But nothing in response.

Mildly disappointed she hadn’t decided to sleep over Damen lay there and scrolled through his news feed for a few minutes until he decided he really ought to get up or else he’d be late for work.

He shaved, dressed and scoffed down a cereal bar before picking up his keys and getting in the car. It was still dark outside; the autumn mornings now revealing the sun later and later. Driving to work Damen organised his thoughts for the day.

His new patient Laurent was obviously his new priority. There were too many unanswered questions surrounding him and Damen was determined to use his morning to find out what was going on.

He parked in the hospital car park, wandered over to the entrance and made his way up to the ward, still musing on what he was going to do about Laurent’s medical notes.

The nurses from the night shift were just finishing up and they called out greetings to him as he walked down the corridor. Normally, Damen would stop and have a chat but this morning his was on a mission. He sat down at the nurses’ station and logging onto the system he began searching the database for the records of Laurent DeVere.

The first thing was to find out who his previous consultant in charge of his care had been at the Princess Royal. From there Damen hoped to track down the rest of Laurent’s details.

However, after half an hour of searching Damen had found nothing of substance. The system database was a maze of dead ends, blank entries and duplicate entries. Navigating was proving almost impossible.

To top it all off, the computer kept crashing. Damen clicked insistently on the link which refused to load. He slammed the mouse down furiously on the desk and restrained himself from ripping the whole computer out and throwing it on the floor.

Nikandros approached just as Damen let out a growl of frustration.

‘That bad of a morning? What, Jokaste not stay over last night?’

Damen looked up at his best friend on the other side of the desk. He took a breath and made an effort not to snap ‘…Well yes, but that’s not what this is’ he said.

Nik raised an eyebrow.

‘It’s this damn system!’ Damen exclaimed. ‘I can’t find anything on Laurent DeVere at all,’

‘Do you want me to take a look?’ asked Nikandros.

Damen let out a huff and passed the mouse over. ‘Let me know how far you get,’ he said, ‘I better go and actually look after my patients.’

‘See you in a bit’ replied Nik, now focused on the screen.

Damen only made it halfway down the corridor before he heard Nikandros swearing at the computer.

 

 

Damen had five patients he was responsible for, including Laurent. Two were elderly, probably heading for respite care soon, one was a middle-aged man who had been in a construction accident, and one was a little nine year old girl called Molly.

Molly’s mum was already in the room when Damen entered to perform her observations.

‘Morning’ he said cheerfully.

‘Oh hi Damen, you back on the early shifts then?’ asked Fiona.

‘Oh yes, up very early this morning’ he said with a smile. ‘How’s Molly this morning?’

‘She opened her eyes when she heard me this morning’ said Fiona.

‘Alright Molly! Nice one!’ Damen called out. He took out his torch and began to check her pupils.

‘Molly can you open your eyes for me?’ he asked. Slowly, ever so slowly, the brown-haired girl opened her big, dark eyes.

‘Good girl!’ Damen exclaimed. Molly held her eyes open for a few minutes, eyes fixed on her mum who began talking to her excitedly.

Damen continued to perform all of his observations. Molly had been steadily improving over the past few weeks and the hope was she would continue to improve in this vein and eventually be able to go home. It was heart-warming and motivated Damen work as hard as he could to look after her; to coax her through little exercises to improve her motor functions, to encourage her when she opened her eyes and squeezed her mum’s hand.

Soon though as Damen was finishing up his checks, her eyelids began to droop and the girl gently fell back asleep.

‘I think that’s it for this morning’ said her mum, stroking a hair through Molly’s curly hair. Damen nodded, ‘Progress might be slow but it’s still progress,’ he said encouragingly.

‘I’ll stay for a while longer,’ said Fiona, looking down at her daughter lovingly.

‘You stay for as long as you need,’ replied Damen with a smile as he collected Molly’s notes together and left the little room.

 

 

 

After dealing with his other patients, Damen finished up with Laurent last.

He entered the room and went immediately to draw back the curtains, saying good morning in a cheerful tone to his newest patient, and commenting on the weather he could observe from the window.

Moving over to the bed he went about his usual checks. No change since yesterday, although Damen didn’t expect there to be. Improvement or deterioration tended to be slow.

Although, looking down at Laurent’s face Damen thought perhaps his cheeks had a bit more colour today. Maybe the extra feed yesterday was already starting to help. Once again, he was struck by how beautiful Laurent was, and this was when he was poorly. Damen found himself imagining what Laurent might be like awake and alert and himself. It was a striking image and Damen fought to not dwell on it. Even when, or if, Laurent woke up, who’s to say what he’d be like? Who’s to say he’d even be the same before? He’d suffered a serious head injury. There was no-way of knowing how severe the damage was until he woke-up.

Damen cleared his thoughts. It was no good speculating about the future. It was best to focus on the present.

He hooked up a new bag of liquid feed and connected it to Laurent’s feeding tube. ‘Now Laurent, this morning you’ve got strawberry flavour which I know you won’t be able to taste but I’ve tried it and I can definitely say it is the best flavour, apart from chocolate, but that stuff is like gold dust in here, can’t get hold of it unless you ransom your first born or something. So you’ve got strawberry and I’ve warmed it up for you as I know from others patients it’s horrible going down the tube cold.’

As Damen talked he got the pump set up so it was feeding Laurent. He then leaned over to adjust some of the wires and tubes so they were laying a little better and as he did so he noticed that Laurent’s hair was still all mussed from yesterday’s moving him about. Although the nurses on the later shift must have changed his sheets at some point and they hadn’t bothered to do anything to sort out the fine strands of hair which had tangled at the back of Laurent’s head.

Damen frowned. Then inspiration struck. He dashed out of the room and down the corridor to Molly’s room almost knocking into her mum as she was exiting.

‘Oh sorry Damen! I didn’t look where I was going,’ Fiona apologised as she stepped back to give some space between her and Damen.

‘No, it’s my fault!’ exclaimed Damen, ‘Sorry, I was trying to catch you before you left,’

‘Is something wrong?’ asked Fiona.

‘No, no,’ said Damen, ‘Its just, well… I was wondering, you don’t have a hair brush by any chance, do you?’

Fiona thought for a moment, ‘Yes, I do!’ she said and began to rummage through her rucksack, ‘It’s in here somewhere,’ she muttered, digging through trying to find it. ‘What do you want it for?’

‘Ah one of my patients has got his hair all tangled and I want to sort it out,’ said Damen.

‘Aha!’ she cried, revealing a soft-bristled brush from the depths of the bag.

‘That’s amazing thanks!’

‘Don’t mention it, you are so good Damen, you really go above and beyond you know,’ said Fiona sincerely.

Damen looked down at his feet and tried not to blush. It didn’t work. ‘I just do my job’ he said.

‘You do much more than that,’ said Fiona and sensing Damen’s awkwardness, she just patted him on the arm and moved off down the corridor. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ she called out as she left.

Damen watched Fiona amble down the hallway and not for the first time marvelled at the strength that woman had. She came every day to see Molly even when things had not looked good at all. Damen was so pleased there was finally some light at the end of the tunnel for her.

He rolled his shoulders and armed with the hairbrush, Damen returned to Laurent’s room and sat down on the bed. He looked at Laurent, lying there, immobile and wondered about how to do this.

‘Right Laurent, how about we get these tangles out of your hair?’ he said out-loud, with a confidence he didn’t quite feel. He needed to be quite careful here. Laurent was hooked up to an awful lot of machines.

He decided to gently pull Laurent towards him so the patient was sitting in an upright position and then Damen shifted on the bed so he could bring Laurent forward a bit more so his forehead was resting on Damen’s upper chest, just below his shoulder.

Mindful of his wires and tubes, Damen made sure Laurent was relatively secure and carefully brought his arms around him so he could get to the blonde hair at the back of Laurent’s head. Then, Damen began to ever so gently brush out the tangles and knots which had occurred as a result of moving Laurent around so much yesterday.

It was slow going. Laurent had very fine hair and lots of it and no sooner had Damen cleared a section of knots then it threatened to get caught up again. Laurent’s hair was so different to his own and Damen marvelled at it, it was like liquid gold, silky as it slid through the bristles of the brush. Damen made sure to go gently, careful not to yank or tug too hard.

He’d got about half-way through and then he started to hum a tune that his mother had sung to him when he was a little boy and she was brushing his hair. Damen couldn’t remember the words though so he just kept humming the tune on a little loop, the sound emanating deeply from his vocal chords. It was soothing, just sitting here, gently untangling and brushing Laurent’s hair and Damen got lost in childhood memories of long summers, strawberry picking and mud baths with Kastor.

Damen resolved to ask his mum next time he spoke to her the words of the song. If Laurent’s hair got knotted this easily, he predicted that he could spent quite a lot of his time brushing it out.

It would probably be easier to just have the hospital hairdresser come and cut Laurent’s hair short, but Damen couldn’t bring himself to do that. And it wasn’t because Laurent was attractive (although Damen could admit the long strands suited him) it was because Damen knew he’d hate to have his hair cut if the positions were reversed.

Better to let it grow long and Laurent could decide what he wanted to do with his hair when he woke up. _If_ he woke up.

Damen looked down at Laurent’s sleeping form. The tangles were all brushed out now.

‘Oh you’ll wake up’ Damen said quietly, stroking down Laurent’s back gently, before carefully laying him back on the pillows where he’d been before. ‘Something tells me you’ll fight this and come out of it. Something tells me you’re stubborn and you’re probably the sort of person who always has to have the last word. So you’ll wake-up because of that, because, apart from anything else, you’ll want to prove everyone wrong.’

Damen gave a low chuckle and squeezed Laurent’s hand. ‘You’re good for now Laurent,’ he said, ‘Don’t go getting into any trouble before I come back,’ and with that he gave the machines a final look over and left the room.

Heading down the corridor to the nurse’s station Damen craned his neck to see if he could spot Nikandros, but the other nurse was nowhere to be seen. As he approached the desk Damen could see a pink post-it stuck to the computer screen. On it were written the words:

_‘Couldn’t find much, but here’s his next of kin, maybe he’ll have some information for us. N’_

Below Nik’s writing was a phone number and the name _R. DeVere,_ and the relation: _Uncle._

Damen picked up the phone from the desk and focusing on the number on the sticky-note he typed it in a listened to it ring.

It went three times before a man’s voice said ‘Hello?’ on the other end.

‘Hi is this Mr. DeVere?’ asked Damen.

‘It is, may I ask who’s calling?’ said the voice in a cultured English accent.

‘Hi Sir, my name’s Damen and I’m one of the ward nurses at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital and I’ve been looking after Laurent since he transferred to us two days ago,’ said Damen, explaining, ‘I was wondering if I could talk to you about Laurent and more specifically, his patient history?’

There was a slight pause on the end of the phone, then, ‘Certainly,’ came the reply, ‘What would you like to know about my nephew?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!  
> Firstly, I'd like to say thanks for the really positive responses I got to posting the start of this fic, truly, thank you so much! I will try and get back to your comments now :)
> 
> Secondly, I've been trying so hard to get this chapter out because there's not going to be another update for a little while. I've actually got to have surgery tomorrow for my chronic health condition, it's all good though and I'll be much better in the long run, but I'm going to be out of action for a few weeks.  
> Dont worry, I'm definately going to come back and finish this fic, who knows I can perhaps ask the nurses on the ward some questions about coma patients and do some research! haha.
> 
> I'd probably say it's best to subscribe to this fic as I dont know when the next update will be, but that way you'll get an email when I do post it.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading and hope you all have a lovely bank holiday weekend :)
> 
> my multifandom [tumblr](http://hazelwickpepperweb.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damen speaks to Laurent's uncle and Laurent has a medical assessment.

Laurent could hear that nurse again…Damen.

He was talking utter nonsense; just babbling away. Laurent wished he would shut up.

Although, gentle hands on him going through the daily checks made a nice change. It wouldn’t last long but Laurent wouldn’t complain for the time being.

He heard the pump of his feeding machine start up and would have flinched if he could. He hated this part. He could pre-emptively feel the cold liquid go along the tube that was up his nose and down his throat. When the cold feed filled his stomach is always made him feel sick. He wanted to sit up and rip out all of the tubes.

But he couldn’t. No matter how hard he had tried in the past, how hard he concentrated on moving. He hadn’t been able to do anything.

He mentally braced himself. But he didn’t feel the cold liquid. Instead, it was…..warm.

Laurent was confused. No-one had ever done that. Not in all the time he’d been like this. No one had ever been this considerate and actually warmed the liquid up. He didn’t feel it go up the tube, he didn’t feel it flood his stomach with frigid solution. Instead, as the minutes progressed he just started to feel slightly full.

The relief that washed over Laurent was unexpected.

But with it came anger. Was he supposed to feel grateful? Was he supposed to be glad that someone had actually bothered to be nice? It wouldn’t last. No, before long it would be back to how it always had been. He should not expect nice things, it just led to disappointment. This was his lot in life now. Trapped, defenceless, and alone the only safe space the one in his head.

God…….he  missed Auguste so much……

Laurent shoved that thought away, it made his heart physically ache and that was the one pain he could not bear. Everything else, yes, he’d endure. But this? This pain of loss? It was too much.

The room was silent again. Laurent was alone with his breathing and his machines, and he desperately tried to clear his thoughts, tried to retreat into his blank abyss. He did that whenever he thought about Auguste or what had happened to put him in a coma. He tried to focus, to find the fog and pull it over him….

But then the door opened and that nurse, Damen was back.

He felt the bed dip as the nurse sat down. Laurent’s thoughts tensed. What was happening now?

He felt himself being pulled upright. He was thin -frail the nurses kept calling him- but he was still deadweight. The nurse must be strong. He felt himself being tipped forward. Laurent wanted to throw his arms out to brace himself, he was going to fall!

But then there were hands on his head, supporting him, bringing him forward so his forehead came to rest on something, and Laurent was horrified to discover it was the nurse’s shoulder. The action was deliberate but performed with care. Laurent was mildly panicking; he was only ever moved when he was being fed or washed. What was this?

He was saying something. Laurent tried to focus, but he missed the words.

Then suddenly there was the strangest sensation and it took Laurent a few seconds to figure it out.

There were fingers in his hair. They were trailing through the strands along with a hair brush. Laurent could tell his hair was badly knotted because even though the nurse Damen was going slow, it still hurt with each little tug of the bristles.

He realised his hair must be much longer than before. The ends were past the nape of his neck, heading down towards his shoulders. He hadn’t had hair this long since he’d been a child. Was he going to have a haircut too?

He was spared further speculating as Damen spoke, ‘You’re hair is getting quite long. But I don’t dare cut it for you. I think you’re the sort of person to want a particular style. So I’m gonna suggest we leave it and then when you wake up you can do what you want with it. Alright?’

 _Why are you asking me? I can’t fucking answer you_ thought Laurent. _And I’m never going to wake up so this is ridiculous. I’ll be like Rapunzel._

But Laurent couldn’t do anything but stay where he was, resting on Damen. He knew he must be getting heavy after a while but Damen didn’t seem to notice he just carried on brushing the tangles from Laurent’s hair.

It was soothing.

Laurent had always liked having his hair played with, having fingers run through it, stroking his scalp.

The nurse, Damen began to croon some sort of song as he worked. And Laurent found himself lulled into a peaceful trance-like state.

It was….nice. This was nice.

The gentle touches when having his observations done, the warm feed now filling his stomach, the consideration taken to brush out his hair…..

What sort of person was this guy?

 _A person not under the control of my uncle,_ thought Laurent.

Sometime passed and after all of the knots had seemingly been brushed away Laurent found himself being laid back down on the pillows. Damen propping him up more to aide his digestion.

And then Damen spoke, a low, quiet baritone, ‘Oh you’ll wake up,’ he said, ‘something tells me you’ll fight this and come out of it. Something tells me you’re stubborn and you’re probably the sort of person who always has to have the last word. So you’ll wake-up because of that, because, apart from anything else, you’ll want to prove everyone wrong.’

Laurent could only lie there and listen.

Perhaps……perhaps that was him once, a lifetime ago, when he’d wanted to wake-up, when he’d wanted to claw his way out of this paralysis. But Laurent was pretty sure that version of him wasn’t around anymore. Damen was talking to a ghost.

Then Laurent felt his hand being squeezed, and he would have jerked it away if he could. ‘You’re good for now Laurent,’ Damen said with a chuckle, ‘Don’t go getting into any trouble before I come back.’

 _Fuck you_ , thought Laurent, _I could wreak havoc if I wanted too._

_***_

 

Damen: _Good morning! Hows things? Would you like dinner at mine tonight? X x x_

Jokaste: _Love to but I cant. Work is mental._

Damen: _Want me to come to yours tomorrow then? We can order in?_

Jokaste: _So sweet. But no idea when I’ll be back. You free Saturday?_

Damen: _No, I’ve got that footy match with the guys and then curry afterwards._

Jokaste: _Ah shit._

Jokaste: _Im not free on Sunday either, gotta see my sister._

Damen _:_ _☹:(_

Damen _: It’s okay, I’ll see you Monday?_

Jokaste: _Babe, I gotta go I’ll message you later x_

Damen: _Love you x x_

Damen locked his phone screen and tapped his phone in frustration against his thigh. He knew his shifts didn’t always lend themselves to having a social life and Jokaste’s work in a high-flying PR firm kept her in for long hours. But the two of them had always been able to manage seeing each other in-between all the hectic work demands.

But Damen hadn’t seen Jokaste in a week, much less actually spent quality time with her. And it had been even longer than that since they’d had sex. Not that it was just about that, but still.

Damen sighed, hopefully they’d have more time for each other soon.

He checked his watch; his break was nearly over. He re-entered the hospital, put his phone back in his locker and made his way onto the ward.

Today was an important day. Several coma specialists were coming to assess Laurent and Damen needed to be there as he was in charge of implementing his patient’s recommended care. Although a spanner had been thrown into the works a few days earlier by Damen’s conversation with Laurent’s uncle, his next of kin and the one who’s consent might be needed if the doctors recommended anything significant.

***

‘What would you like to know about my nephew?’ had come the words over the phone.

‘Well sir, I’ll begin by saying how I am very sorry about what happened to Laurent and I want to assure you we are committed to giving him the very best of care that we can here at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital.’

‘That’s very kind, thank you..?’

‘Damen, sir.’

‘Damen, that’s very kind and good to hear, thank you. My nephew means the world to me…after…after losing my brother and my elder nephew in that terrible car crash….he’s the only family I have left…I am _his_ only family and..’

‘I understand sir,’ said Damen, he could hear how much this man cared for Laurent down the phone and it was a reminder that Laurent was not just a patient, he was a person, he was a person who had walked and talked and _belonged_ somewhere before his accident. Damen’s stomach tightened as he prepared to impart the news about Laurent’s recent weight loss. Giving difficult news to family members was always hard and made him feel slightly sick. Nikandros said it was because he cared too much, in a job where you couldn’t afford to care.

Damen took a breath before beginning to explain to Laurent’s uncle what he had recently discovered about Laurent’s condition.

‘I see,’ came the response, ‘Well, what does that mean? Is he okay? Do you know what might have led to this weight loss? An underlying condition perhaps? My nephew always was a frail child and he did always err on the skinny side when he was a boy,’

‘Laurent is alright at the moment sir, I can assure you,’ said Damen calmly. ‘I think we’ve spotted things before they became too detrimental, although this amount of weight loss is still a matter we are treating very seriously of course. We’re not sure quite what might have led to the loss of weight, that’s why I am trying to track down a full copy of his medical notes, they seem to be incomplete.’

‘Incomplete?’ came the voice down the phone, ‘How so?’

‘Well sir, there seems to be some initial scans missing, and the daily observations don’t seem to have been taken accurately and therefore we have no record or possible explanation as to why Laurent has lost so much weight, something which we are obviously keen to find the cause of and rectify,’

There was a pause, ‘I did get one or two things,’ said the Uncle, ‘and I can have a look through what I have in my possession, but I am not sure what it is that you are looking for. I find it hard to believe that his previous care at the Princess Royal Hospital was anything less than excellent, they seemed to provide good care there.’

‘I am sure they did sir,’ replied Damen over the phone, ‘But I would like to make sure we have all the information possible so as to be able to find out why he’s not been keeping weight on recently. It would really help if we knew more, especially as Laurent is have a review from our specialists the day after tomorrow.’

The tone of the Uncle changed then, ‘A review?’ he asked sharply.

‘Yes,’ affirmed Damen, ‘Our specialists are going to review his condition and depending on what they decide, some of his care and medication might be changed.’

‘But I am his next of kin!’ exclaimed the Uncle, ‘Why was I not contacted to be informed of this?’

‘With all due respect sir, we don’t need the permission of the next of kin to do a review of Laurent’s condition,’ said Damen patiently, ‘I understand you are concerned with Laurent’s well-being, as any family member would be-‘

‘Concerned doesn’t cover the half of it,’ said the Uncle somewhat angrily over the line, ‘I love my nephew with all my heart and it almost breaks it to see him in this condition….after the accident I feared the worst and with Laurent _barely_ surviving in a comatose state-‘

‘Sir, I understand it’s a tragedy for you and your family and that I cannot begin to understand what you are going through but-‘

‘But I should at least be present for this review!’ came the demand down the phone, ‘I am out of the country at the moment, can it not be postponed until I get back?’

Damen was slightly taken aback, ‘I.. I am sorry sir, but the review has to be on Friday as that’s the only day for a whole month when the specialists are available to come and assess Laurent and I hope you understand that we don’t want to delay any changes which are needed in his care. If there’s a chance it might help him to get better.’

‘ _If_ he gets better, it’s hard to continue with false hope,’

Damen was confused, ‘I’m not sure what you mean,’ he said slowly, pressing the phone to his ear as somewhere on the ward one of the drip machines began beeping.

‘Well young man, isn’t this whole thing pointless? What’s the point of having a review and assessment if my nephew isn’t going to make it. I know it’s hard and…Lord knows I’ve had to start coming to terms with it, myself but the feeling was at the Princess Royal that it was unlikely that Laurent was every going to wake up…’

Damen felt his heart sink. He wasn’t a doctor, he wasn’t a coma specialist, his job was to care for the patients day-to-day and to hear what the Uncle was saying….Damen himself also needed to be prepared for the eventuality that his latest patient wasn’t going to make it. He cleared his throat ‘Well, sir, let’s see what the outcome of the review on Friday is, then we can go from there. Would you like to visit when you are back? Someone could sit down with you then and talk your through the review summary and what the specialists recommend? And you can bring along any medical paperwork you have’

There was a long pause on the other line and the sound of a heavy sigh, ‘Yes, well, it seems I have no choice. I will visit Wednesday next week. Will you be on duty?’

‘I can be sir’ replied Damen. It would require a swapped shift but as he was responsible for Laurent’s care it would be the best to be there to meet the Uncle in person when he visited his nephew.

‘Good I will visit during the afternoon. Thank you Damen, I will see you then.’ Then the line was disconnected.

***

The specialists all crowded around Laurent’s bed, Damen could hardly make out the young man lying there whilst they discussed Laurent’s test results and performed obeservations themselves.  Damen was off to one side of the room, standing by the window and scribbling notes to keep up with what the doctors were saying. Occasionally they would ask Damen questions and he’d flick through Laurent’s file to find the answers. That was, if he could find the answers. It was becoming more and more clear that Laurent’s file was a jigsaw of missing pieces.

However, everyone in the room managed as best they could; going off what information they did have. Laurent had had two MRIs and an EEG this week so there was plenty for the specialists to discuss, as well as the recent observations taken by Damen and Nikandros.

There was a fair amount of concern in the room about Laurent’s weight loss, and Damen had been authorised to increase his feed and supplement it with high calories and protein, with the aim to get Laurent back to a healthy weight. They had also recommended that Laurent start some physical therapy to combat and gently reverse the effects of muscle degeneration.

The conversation turned to the results from Laurent’s latest MRI brain scans. Most of it went over Damen’s head but he was getting a clear sense of optimism from the specialists.

‘I know Laurent looks unresponsive for now, but the latestest scans look quite good actually. It seems the trauma from the initial accident has settled down, there’s minimal swelling and the damage doesn’t look as extensive as I first thought, comparing this scan to the first one taken immediately after Laurent was admitted,’ said one of the specialists, Professor Ayub, who Damen knew quite well as she had covered a lot of Molly’s medical care. ‘I wish we had more than this to go on though….ah well, can’t be helped I suppose…’

‘Even better is his latest EEG,’ said one of the other doctors, ‘measuring his brain activity we can see patterns of dreaming and lucidness despite his comatose state.’

‘What he means Laurent,’ said Professor Ayub with a smile as she looked down at Laurent on the bed, ‘is that we know you’re awake and can probably hear us, so let’s stop talking about you as if you aren’t here okay?’ she raised her eyebrows at her colleagues and they laughed sheepishly.

Damen nodded, this was good news, something positive to tell Laurent’s uncle when he visited next week. The man had seemed so pessimistic when talking about Laurent’s condition over the phone. Hopefully now his fears would be dissuaded.

‘I think we should carry on monitoring Laurent’s brain activity,’ announced Professor Ayub with some authority, ‘Now that the swelling has gone down, we should be able to get accurate and consistent readings and be able to determine if there’s a trend. Hopefully the increased nutrition and exercise should help stimulate his body and get some nerves and neurons firing. Lying still all the time can’t be much fun, hey Laurent?’

‘Damen is it okay if we come around sometime next week to hook Laurent up to our portable EEG?’ asked Dr Butterworth, another one of the specialists.

‘Sure,’ said Damen brightly, ‘It’s Nik on earlies next week, but I’ll let him know. I’d avoid Wednesday if you can. Laurent’s uncle said he was coming to visit then. Im hoping he’s got some copies of Laurent’s missing paperwork which would help.’

‘Oh Laurent that’s good news!’ exclaimed Professor Ayub, ‘It always helps to have visitors, I’m very glad your uncle will be coming. If it’s possible let’s get the EEG cap on before then and see if Laurent’s got any increased brain activity when Laurent’s uncle comes. These visits can often be really good for patients’ well-being.’

Damen nodded and scribbled down in his notes to arrange for the EEG to be set up early next week. Whilst he was doing that the specialists continued talking amongst themselves for a little while before filing out of the room one by one.

As Damen finished up his notes, he noticed out of the corner of his eye that Professor Ayub had come around the side of the bed and was saying something to Laurent that Damen couldn’t catch over the voices of the other doctors. He saw her squeeze Laurent’s hand briefly and exited the room as well.

Damen moved over to Laurent’s bed and quickly checked that everything was as it should be after the inquisitive prodding by the specialists. It all seemed to be fine.

‘Guess you’ll be wearing that silly hat from now on,’ said Damen with a grin to Laurent, ‘Don’t worry, I wont let them muss your hair up too badly. And I’ll make sure you look nice for when your uncle comes next week. I had a chat with him on the phone and he seemed really nice- worried about you of course. I’m glad he can visit Laurent, I don’t like to see you on your own the whole time. You can hang out with someone other than me for once!’ Damen chuckled. ‘I’ll see you in a bit Laurent, gotta go make sure I’ve got all my orders from the doctors.’

And he too squeezed Laurent’s hand, the other one this time, just before gathering up Laurent’s file and leaving the room.

Damen caught up with Professor Ayub in the corridor. She smiled brightly at him, ‘You’ve done a good job Damen, I saw Laurent when he first came in and he already looks better; bit more colour in his cheeks.’

‘Thanks Prof,’ replied Damen, ‘What do you think his chances of recovery are? His uncle didn’t seem too positive.’

‘Well, obviously I can’t give any gurantees, you know that,’ she paused, tucking her dark hair behind her ears, ‘But I definitely think there’s room for improvement, I don’t know what sort of care he was getting before but I’m sure if we try our best here it at least puts Laurent in a place where he might have a chance at waking up, although we don’t the long terms effects of the brain injury might be.’

Damen wasn’t sure what could expain the rush of relief he felt at hearing her say those words, ‘Still though,’ he said, ‘that’s really great if he wakes up.’

‘It’ll be lots of hard work Damen,’ the Professor cautioned.

‘I’m used to hard work,’ said Damen, ‘I have to put up with Nikandros nearly everyday.’

‘I heard that!’ came a shout from down the corridor, no guesses for who it belonged too.

Professor Ayub laughed, her face crinkling beautifully with happy lines. ‘I should come down to the ward more often!’ she giggled, ‘It’s much more fun down here than in my stuffy office,’

‘You’d be welcome anytime,’ said Damen with a wide smile, ‘Oh! Prof, I just need you to sign these prescriptions for Laurent before you go.’ Damen withdrew Laurent’s file from where it had been tucked under his arm. He opened it and got out the slips for her to sign.

‘Oh of course!’ said the Professor and she got out a pen and began scribbling. ‘Let me know how the visit goes next week Damen, we’ll probably be down again in a month or so to check Laurent’s progress, but in the meantime, let me know if there are any issues,’ she clicked her pen shut and handed back the forms to Damen.

‘I will do,’ he promised.

Gathering all the paperwork together Damen looked down at Laurent’s file. It was amazing really, how a person could be represented on bits of paper. How someone’s whole life could be reduced to fit in an A4 folder.

Damen hoped this wasn’t it. He hoped that one day Laurent could have his life back and be a person again, not a patient. He deserved it.

In the meantime however, Damen would just have to do his best to look after him on his road to recovery, whatever that would look like.

So it was with optimism that Damen went back to the remainder of his shift for that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Firstly, thanks to everyone who left such kind and supportive messages on the last chapter. My surgery went well and I'm now in recovery and will be for quite a few weeks more, but Im getting better each day. Your support means a great deal so really, thank you!
> 
> Secondly, ta-da! a new chapter! I'm now up to the point where I can write again which is fantastic. Chapters wont be regular as I dont want the pressure of working to a schedule, but they will certainly be more frequent now as I have lots of time to write. Please let me know what you think of this latest chapter!
> 
> Thirdly, I actually sat down and planned this entire fic out, IN DETAIL. Like this is the most meticulous fic I've ever planned. There will be 32 chapters (ummm yeah- I have this thing where I cant write short fics) so be prepared to hang around for sometime! (only if you like the fic of course).  
> What this means, which is quite exciting, is that I can give little previews as to what's coming up next chapter, which is awesome :D
> 
> Fourthly, off the back of my planning, I've also updated the tags and the rating is now Explicit just to be on the safe side as there will be full-on sexy times eventually and details of abuse and other not so nice stuff later on and I think you can never be too careful with these things.
> 
> Fifthly, once again I remind everyone that I'm not a medical professional. An EEG is one of those things where you wear that funny hat and it measures the electical brain waves in your brain....I got all this off google so please...be nice.  
> So yeah, again thanks so much my lovely readers, im excited to share this (long) story with you!  
> much love xH
> 
>  
> 
> coming up next:  
> Laurent's reaction to the news his uncle is coming to visit.  
> As well as what happens when Laurent's uncle does visit and who has he brought with him?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurent's uncle comes to visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thanks to Kmoche who offered their expertise to medically beta (is that a thing?) my content and ideas for this fic!  
> [But as always I am not a medical coma professional doctor of any sort]

Laurent was seething.

If he could he would sit up, rip out all of the tubes and strangle that nurse Damen with them. Looping them around his neck until he turned blue from asphyxiation. It would serve him right.

Laurent didn’t know what was worse, nurses under the control of his uncle and carrying out abuse on his orders or this….absolutely idiotic, _clueless_ excuse for a nurse who so obviously wasn’t under his uncle’s thrall, but was seemingly capable of inflicting more damage.

All because they assumed Laurent would be looking forward to his uncle’s visit. It wasn’t just Damen, it was all of them. They all thought it was a _‘lovely idea’_ that his uncle was coming to visit…..fucking idiots.

Laurent had no doubt that his uncle sounded nice and caring  and _concerned for his welfare_ on the phone. His uncle could be downright fucking charming when he wanted to be. A master of manipulation. It wouldn’t be long before everyone here was under his control too.

Everything about this situation would be under his uncle’s control. And Laurent knew he’d undeniably relish it. Auguste and their father dead, and Laurent in a fucking coma. No-one to stop or stand in the way of his uncle gaining control of the family company and no one left to protect Laurent. It didn’t even bear thinking about what his uncle had been up to these past 9 months. What sort of world would Laurent be waking up to? _If_ he woke up.

All Laurent could do was just _lie_ there, completely helpless and unable to stop his uncle from taunting him…goading him…touching him.

Laurent had been right. It had all been too good to last; the gentleness, the sincerity of his care. It would all be gone as of Wednesday.

 

At some point he felt them fitting him with that ridiculous hat. Or rather, as he couldn’t see it he didn’t know it was ridiculous but it probably was. What was it for again? Something to measure his brain activity or something. 

_Measure this you pathetic imbeciles_ he thought viciously, and sent several crassly worded thoughts in the direction of the nurses and healthcare assistants attending him. But instead of running from the room crying which would have been the effect if he’d managed to speak the words out loud, the staff became excited; discussing amongst themselves the pattern of electric pulses or…something.

It wouldn’t be long now before his uncle came. Laurent thought he might try to escape the experience by sinking down into the murky depths of unconsciousness. But he kept finding himself too angry. And every time that nurse Damen came into his room, Laurent found himself thinking of creative ways to kill him for his bumbling idiocy.

For every happy, annoyingly cheerful sentence that came from Damen’s lips, Laurent had a spiky retort ready in his mind. The only problem was, he wasn’t able to deliver them. And so obviously they had no effect. He also found his insults lacking in creativity. There was only so much you could think without drawing on real-life imagery or experiences. Laurent didn’t even know what Damen looked like. His eyes not once been lifted long enough to get a gaze of the nurse. Laurent  could only go on voice alone, and that wasn’t enough to discern much.

He could tell Damen was large, he had a rumbly baritone voice and he could manoeuvre Laurent around easily enough during washing and weighing times, and when it came to brushing his hair… 

This was something Damen did a lot and it frustrated Laurent immensely. He was sure he didn’t look that bad enough to warrant his hair needing to be sorted out each day. In fact Laurent really couldn’t give two fucks about his appearance right now. His body had given up on him, he wanted nothing better than to give up on his body.

But death would not come and so Laurent had to put up with his hair being de-tangled each day. He’d gone 9 months without being groomed, he was sure he could go a couple of days! Maybe the oaf got a kick out of it or something, maybe it was a weird kink of his or something. Laurent would have grimaced if he could. _Gross._

Still, even Laurent had to grudgingly admit it was nice. The gentle touches and strokes which were now becoming a routine were tentatively welcome. Laurent would probably grudgingly admit that he liked his hair being played with, and having someone take the time and care to brush through the knots each day was nice…

But it would soon end no doubt. Once his uncle had visited hair brushing would stop and hair pulling would resume.

Laurent couldn’t do anything but wait with a sense of impending dread for Wednesday to come.

 

***

So far Damen’s Wednesday was not going to plan.

He’d argued with Jokaste this morning. A full-on row. They’d fought before sure, in their year and a bit relationship, there had been arguments. But this morning’s had been particularly ugly.

Damen didn’t even know where to start picking up the pieces from it.

He was supposed to come in for his afternoon shift which he’d swapped with another nurse for. But he’d been so completely done with everything this morning he came into work mid-morning just to escape his own thoughts.

Nik had taken one look at him and nearly sent him home again.

‘Don’t even try Nik,’ Damen had said, ‘And don’t you even say anything about her, cos I’m really not in the mood.’

‘Fine, fine,’ Nikandros had said, hands up in a gesture of surrender, ‘but do something useful for god’s sake, take your mind off things. I can’t stand to be around you when you’re miserable.’

But that had led to Damen had spending the rest of his morning on the phone to the nursing staff at the Princess Royal Hospital, trying to track down Laurent’s missing notes. He got exactly nowhere.

Slamming the phone down at about one o’clock he swore not-too-quietly.

‘Damen!’ chastised Abi, the ward Sister.

‘Sorry Sister,’ apologised Damen with a groan, ‘But even you’d feel like you wanted to scratch your own eyeballs out after dealing with that lot over at PRH. Incompetent is the kindest word I’d use to describe them.’

‘Huh, I’d use a lot worse than that mate,’ said Nik, coming to drop off a patient file at the nurse’s station. ‘I got nowhere with them either this week.’

‘Do you want me to try and help?’ asked Abi, concerned.

‘No,’ sighed Damen, running a hand down his face, ‘I think we’re gonna have to just accept that Laurent’s notes are not going to be found anywhere.’

Abi shook her head, ‘This is appalling, what sort of care are they giving at PRH?’

‘Beats me,’ said Damen, ‘they allowed Laurent to lose ten bloody kilos whilst he was under their care. Useless, the lot of them.’

‘Well at least he’s in a better place now, ‘ said Abi comfortingly, patting Damen’s shoulder reassuringly. ‘In fact, he’s got the very best of care, with you two looking after him,’ she smiled at both Damen and Nikandros.

‘Thanks Sister,’ said Damen. He sighed and pulled his hands through his unruly hair. It was getting long, it would probably need a cut soon.

‘Oh, right Damen,’ said Nikandros, bringing him from his thoughts, ‘I’d better tell you about Laurent this morning.’

A spike of panic flew through Damen and he turned to Nikandros to say sharply, ‘What? What’s happened?’

‘Hey it’s okay!’ said Nik, ‘He’s fine, really. Calm down! It’s just the EEG cap malfunctioned so they had to take it back this morning to return it to the lab. They need to check the wires for connection issues that sort of thing.’

‘You’re joking,’ said Damen, really hoping Nikandros was fucking joking.

‘Nope’ said Nikandros with a wry smile, ‘I couldn’t make this up,’

‘Well great,’ said Damen, throwing his hands up in the air, standing up and stomping off down the corridor, ‘that’s just great. The ONE day he has a visitor and we’re not even going to be able to measure Laurent’s reaction to  having his uncle come!’

‘Mate, listen, I know. It sucks,’ said Nik placatingly, but it was of little use. Damen just moved crossly down the corridor and went to room twenty; Laurent’s room.

However, once inside the room, Damen forced himself to calm down. _He_ was having a shitty day, but Laurent deserved better than to deal with his foul mood.

‘Afternoon Laurent,’ he said, trying to sound as cheerful as he could. He found it was easier than he’d thought. Seeing Laurent really made his day. There was just something about the pale, young man lying there that really tugged on Damen’s heartstrings. Nikandros would say it was his blonde hair, but it wasn’t about attraction for Damen- which was good, because that was very immoral, him being a nurse and Laurent being a patient and everything- it was more that Laurent really didn’t have anyone to look after him. Yes, his uncle was visiting today but most days Laurent was here, on his own and very, very poorly. It made Damen’s caring and protective instincts kick in.

Laurent was lying, like he always did, still and beautiful. Apart from his hair which was all messy because of the EEG being removed. Damen sighed. It really did all have to go wrong today didn’t it? That EEG cap was crucial in telling the doctors how Laurent’s brain was behaving and how he reacted to outside stimulus – like having familial visitors.

Damen sighed. Well, things couldn’t be helped.

He went to the bedside table, pushed into the corner to accommodate the machines surrounding Laurent’s bed, and there, in the second drawer he found the hairbrush he’d borrowed from Fiona last week.

‘Come on then Laurent, let’s get you looking handsome for your uncle this afternoon,’ he announced, sitting on the bed and putting Laurent in the now familiar position, forehead resting on Damen’s uniform-clad shoulder. From there he started taming the wild mane Laurent’s hair had become.

It was calming, doing this. The repetitive strokes doing more to ease Damen’s frustration at the day than several hours playing video games. It was partly why he did it most days now. Having a routine was good for Laurent and Damen also enjoyed the benefits. It was a few minutes out of the hectic, busy shift where Damen could take some long moments and gather his thoughts. He hoped Laurent enjoyed it too. Often when patients had been washed and their appearance neatened up, they felt much, much better in themselves which in turn helped with the healing process.

Soon Laurent was looking presentable again. Damen propped him back up on several pillows. It was just as he was adjusting the last of them that a knock came at the door. It was Abi.

‘Damen, Laurent’s uncle is here,’ she said.

‘Great,’ replied Damen brightly. ‘I’ll just have a quick chat with him and then he can come in. You’re alright for a few minutes aren’t you Laurent?’ Damen looked back at the sleeping man, ‘I won’t be too long I promise.’

He stood up from where he was on the bed and followed Abi back out into the corridor and to the nurse’s station. It was only then he realised he’d brought the hairbrush with him. Tucking it into his pocket he approached the two figures stood by the desk.

Damen immediately recognised Laurent’s uncle. He had the same high-arched brow and blonde hair although it was streaked with a strands of grey. He was clean shaven and was dressed in a smart business suit. He exuded an air of authority.

Next to him was a boy, of about eleven or twelve Damen would guess. This boy was strikingly beautiful. He had curly brown hair and wide blue eyes, skin pale and smooth. He was dressed in a blue shirt which was tucked into a pair of smart trousers. Damen assumed it was a school uniform. The boy stood close to Laurent’s uncle and watched the staff walking up and down the corridor warily.

The uncle however, fixed his eyes on Damen.

‘Mr DeVere,’ said Damen in greeting as he held out his hand.

‘Damen I presume,’ came the smooth voice of the Uncle which Damen recognised from their phone call last week. He grasped Damen’s hand in return and they shook firmly.

‘That’s me sir.’

‘And this is my son Nicaise,’ said the Uncle, releasing his hand from the handshake and placing it on Nicaise’s slim shoulder.

‘Nice to meet you Nicaise,’ said Damen with a smile. Nicaise just scowled in reply. But before Damen could react in surprise Mr DeVere was speaking.

‘Right well, you seem like a very capable young man, I’m sure my nephew is in good hands,’ said Mr DeVere, looking Damen up and down. Damen flushed slightly at the praise.

‘Well we aim to give Laurent the best care here sir,’ he said in reply.

‘I’m sure you do, but what’s a strong young man like you doing inside all day? You should be out there, making a name for yourself, conquering the world so to speak. Surely you don’t want to be here the whole time, especially on this ward of all places,’ said Laurent’s uncle.

‘I don’t mind it’ said Damen with a smile, ‘I like caring for people.’

‘At your age young man you should be caring for yourself,’ said  Mr DeVere, and when Damen went to protest he waved him off with a hand, ‘I know, I know it sounds selfish, and well, it probably is. But come on! You’re young, good-looking and free! Look at my poor nephew, stuck in this hellish place between living and dying. He’s twenty-three, he never got to see the world properly, never even got to live!’ Laurent’s uncle paused and levelled a look at Damen, ‘Young man….Damen…think about things. You have your whole life ahead of you, in a way my poor, poor Laurent no longer has….just…think about things alright?’

Damen felt trapped like a bug under a microscope with the way Mr DeVere was holding his gaze and speaking to him. He felt inclined to agree with what some of the man was saying, and he said it in such a convincing way. Was Damen wasting his life? Sometimes his job was hard, caring for people that might never wake up, might never recover. It was thankless work and it wasn’t glamourous.

But Damen didn’t really get a chance to respond as Mr DeVere continued, ‘Before I forget,’ he said, ‘here are those files you were after,’ and with a flourish he withdrew a thin -thinner than Damen had been hoping for- file from under his arm and passed it to Damen. ‘I know there’s not much there, but that’s all I have, I’m afraid.’

Damen looked down at the folder, there were a few sheets on the inside, but not nearly enough to fill in all the gaps on Laurent’s file. It was frustrating, but Damen quashed that feeling and forced a smile out. ‘Thanks sir, I’m really grateful that you could bring these in, I’ll go and make some copies right away.’

‘Good,’ said the Uncle nodding, ‘Now, may I see my nephew?’

‘Of course sir, he’s this way’ said Damen leading Mr DeVere down the corridor. He’d only gone a few paces before he realised Laurent’s uncle was not following.

Damen moved back towards the Uncle and Nicaise.

‘Is everything okay?’ Damen asked, concerned.

‘Ahh yes, it is. Sorry,’ said the Uncle, ‘But I think it best if Nicaise stay here for now,’ said Mr DeVere laying a hand on Nicaise’s shoulder. He continued in a low voice ‘I think he may find it too upsetting, you know.’

Damen personally thought out of a choice of seeing Laurent and not seeing Laurent, the latter was more upsetting, but he nodded and respected Mr DeVere’s wish. ‘Okay sir, ummm, Nicaise, you can sit out here with me I guess.’

‘Thank you Damen,’ said the Uncle, ‘Now, this room was it?’ and he pointed to room twenty.

Damen nodded in response, ‘That’s right, Laurent’s all ready and waiting in there for you.’

And with that Laurent’s uncle walked briskly down the corridor and twisted the handle to Laurent’s room.  He entered and shut the door behind him with a firm click.

Damen was now left in the corridor with Nicaise. He turned to look down at the boy standing next to him.

‘Come on, let’s find you something to do in the meantime,’ said Damen as he moved around to the other side of the nurse’s waiting station and set down the file Laurent’s uncle had given him. Nicaise followed him.

‘He’s not really waiting is he?’ asked Nicaise who had kept his eyes fixed on the door to Laurent’s room for several long moments after his father had entered the room.

Damen frowned in confusion as he sat down in one of the chairs.

‘Well he’s a vegetable,’ said Nicaise flatly, with a look at Damen clearly implying that he thought he was an idiot.

‘What?! No! Laurent is not a vegetable!’ spluttered Damen, ‘Where did you get that idea?‘

‘But isn’t he just lying there whilst machines keep him alive because his brain has turned to jelly?’

‘No, Laurent’s brain hasn’t turned to jelly,’ said Damen somewhat exasperatedly. He looked around for another chair for Nicaise to sit on and pulled one over from his other side and gestured for Nicaise to sit. ‘I really don’t know where you got that idea from. Did your dad tell you that?’

‘No.’

‘Well, then-‘

‘He’s not my father,’ said Nicaise, as he flopped down in the chair Damen offered.

 ‘I’m sorry?’ asked Damen, confused.

‘Richard is my foster father,’ said Nicaise.

‘Oh, so Laurent isn’t your cousin?’

‘Obviously not.’

‘Oh,’ said Damen, not quite sure what to say now and there was an awkward pause as Damen picked up the notes from Mr DeVere’s file and began feeding them into the photocopier. He wasn’t long into the process when suddenly, ‘Hey! Don’t touch that!’

‘What?’ asked Nicaise, turning his head and showing big wide innocent eyes to Damen; pretending he hadn’t been about to touch one of the computers.

‘That’s for hospital staff only,’ said Damen. He was well aware he wasn’t quite in charge of the situation, especially when Nicaise began spinning around in circles on his chair.

‘Oh come on! What am I supposed to do? Please tell me you have minesweeper at _least_ ,’ moaned Nicaise who was rapidly becoming a blur on the office chair, his skinny legs thrown out by the rotation.

Damen snorted, ‘As if. They slashed everything in the latest round of budget cuts.’ He stood up and clapped his hands on the back of the chair Nicaise was spinning on, bringing it to an abrupt halt.

‘Hey!’

‘Sorry kid, but we only have three of these chairs, if you break one you’ll have the wrath of all the nurses on this ward upon you.’

‘I don’t care,’

‘Kid, I don’t care that you don’t care. I’ve love to see the nurses here eat you alive.’ said Damen, leaning over the back of the chair and looking down at Nicaise who was sprawled out on the seat, legs and arms everywhere. He waggled his eyebrows.

Nicaise let out a small snort. Although he covered it up almost immediately with a fresh scowl.

‘So what am I supposed to do?’ he whined, ‘If he’s gonna be in there for ages with Laurent who can’t even fucking open his eyes!’

‘Mind your language,’ said Damen with a warning tone. But then he sighed, ‘Look, Laurent’s in quite a bad way at the moment, but there’s every chance he might wake-up and recover. It’s best to focus on the positives.’

Nicaise looked at him puzzled, ‘But Richard said Laurent wasn’t ever going to wake-up.’

‘I think Laurent’s uncle, is just worried about him is all,’ said Damen. He turned back to the photocopier which had completed its job and made sure the original documents were tucked back in the folder for Mr DeVere and the copies were stacked neatly on Laurent’s hospital file. As he did so he remembered the Uncle speaking over the phone about how slim he thought Laurent’s chances of recovery were. Damen made a note to speak to him about what the doctors had said at Laurent’s review. There was every hope for Laurent.

But then: ‘I wish he would just _die,_ ’ said Nicaise petulantly, ‘Then I can have all of Richard’s inheritance instead of stupid Laurent.’

‘What are you talking about?’ said Damen, shocked. He resumed his seat and looked sharply at Nicaise, ‘You can’t mean that, you can’t want someone, _Laurent,_ to die.’

‘I can and I do,’ said Nicaise almost with a tone of pride, which sickened Damen. ‘You’ve never met Laurent, you don’t know who he is or what he’s like-‘

‘Oh and what’s that?’

‘Spoilt, stuck-up, rude-‘

‘-Kid that all sounds very familiar from where I’m sitting,’ said Damen, crossing his arms and willing himself to not get angry at a twelve-year old. ‘Pot? Kettle?’ he offered.

‘He’s _awful’_ complained Nicaise, ‘Seriously, it’s no wonder Richard prefers _me_. Laurent just needs to hurry up and snuff it and then Richard will adopt me and I’ll be heir to everything.’

‘Look kid, Laurent’s not going to die,’ said Damen firmly, where was this belief in Laurent’s impending demise coming from? ‘And hang on, what’s all this stuff about an inheritance?’

Nicaise stopped still and stared at Damen, ‘You mean you don’t _know?’_ he asked, his voice rising in pitch, there was a pause as Damen look blankly at the boy in front of him. Then, Nicaise’s whole face transformed into one of disbelief and shock, ‘You don’t have a fucking clue do you?’ And then suddenly Nicaise dissolved into a peals of laughter right there in front of a completely bewildered Damen.

‘Nicaise!’ came a barked voice.

It was Laurent’s uncle. Nicaise stopped laughing immediately and stood up, suddenly meek. A contrast to moments before.

Damen stood up ‘Is everything okay sir?’ he asked. Laurent’s uncle looked mostly the same, perhaps a little more drawn. He hadn’t been in with Laurent very long. But Damen knew how hard it was to see loved ones in a comatose and unresponsive state.

‘It is, although I’m afraid my nephew really isn’t in a good way,’ Mr DeVere sighed heavily as if the weight of the whole world was on his shoulders, ‘I wish to speak to the consultant in charge of Laurent. Can you arrange an appointment?’

Damen scrambled to find a post-it note and pen amongst the jumble of patient files on the desk. ‘I can sir, I’ll arrange an appointment with Professor Ayub for you.’

‘As soon as possible please,’ said the Uncle, ‘I am a busy man and this is important.’

‘I shall try my best,’ said Damen, finally finding something to write with and noting down the details.

‘Thank you Damen,’ and with this Laurent’s uncle reached out an arm over the desk and grasped Damen’s arm, ‘Now, don’t forget what I was saying earlier. I think you are made for better things than this. Think about what I said. If you decide that you don’t want to waste your life in here….well, you know how to contact me,’

‘Err yes, sir.’

‘Right,’ said the Uncle, retracting his hand from Damen and turning around, ‘Come along Nicaise, whatever were you thinking? Laughing is _not appropriate_.’

Nicaise stayed silent as he scurried around the desk to Mr DeVere’s side. Damen watched as Laurent’s uncle took Nicaise’s hand firmly in his own and marched the two of them from the ward.

It left Damen with many more questions than answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Ive learned this week I need to be kinder to myself. Recovery is slow and doesnt run in a straight line. I think about how I would have been to a friend in this situation and I would have definately been more kind and more supportive to them than I am being to myself. So let's all please, remember to look after ourselves and above all be kind and cut ourselves some slack. You got out of bed today? WELL DONE YOU.
> 
> Right, anyway, here is a new chapter, with NICAISE. Please let me know what you think. All your comments have really encouraged me and kept me going so thank you, thank you, thank you!
> 
>  
> 
> Next chapter:  
> Laurent struggles to deal in the wake of his uncle's visit and where is Damen?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurent's mind is in turmoil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be warned this chapter is pretty dark, there are mentions of abuse, flashbacks of abuse, and suicidal thoughts so please take care.

Laurent wasn’t in a good situation. He knew that. He recognised that. But there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

‘Hello Laurent.’

Those words, that _voice._ It made Laurent want to run, to hide. But there was nothing he could do.

‘It’s nice to see you, looking lovely as ever,’ as his uncle said the words Laurent felt  fingers come up to brush across his face.

Laurent would have shuddered if he could. But he was immobilised. He felt his cheek burn where his uncle had touched it, almost like physical pain although he knew that wasn’t possible.

‘This transfer of hospitals, this is most inconvenient Laurent. It’s going to set us back by months.’

 _Oh no, a flaw in your perfect plan to do away with me Uncle. Yes, how inconvenient._ Laurent’s words would have dripped with venom had he been able to speak them.

‘You know Laurent, you really don’t realise, you have no idea how much pain this has caused me,’ his uncle said, pacing the room now at the foot of Laurent’s bed. Laurent could hear the expensive shoes on the hospital floor.

 _All beautifully choreographed and staged I’m sure_ replied Laurent dryly in his head. _Everyone convinced of your sincere love and anguish for me. An award winning performance, especially with no-one around to see through your lies._

No one left to see his uncle for what he really was: evil personified. With his father and Auguste gone and Laurent effectively side-lined, his uncle had free reign; something he’d never possessed before, and which made him all the more terrifying.

‘All you’re really doing is drawing out the inevitable now, and we both know it’ said his uncle, finished with the pacing and now leaning forward to place both hands on the rail at the end of the bed. Laurent felt the vibration through the whole bed frame; his uncle was not a weak man.

‘Sooner or later, you’re going to stop all of this nonsense-‘

 _What nonsense is that Uncle?_ thought Laurent, _that not-so-little inconvenience of me breathing perhaps?_

‘-and just let go.’

He made it sound so easy. Like all Laurent had to do was peel his hands away from the ledge he was gripping labelled ‘life’ and fall away to be embraced by death. But it wasn’t like that. _If it was that easy don’t you think I’d have done that by now?_ accused Laurent, _don’t you think I want to leave this world as keenly as you want me to? I don’t want to be here… I don’t… I don’t want to be without Auguste._

‘At least your brother could always be counted on to do things right. Even in death he could be relied upon to do that,’ said Laurent’s uncle cruelly.

Laurent recoiled inside his mind. That cut deep. Yet another reminder as to why he was a failure. He couldn’t even _die_  right.

‘Whereas you, my dear nephew…’ and, oh no, he was coming closer, alongside the bed, Laurent could hear him, he could smell him. Laurent’s uncle bent over Laurent’s face, his cologne permeating Laurent’s nostrils, triggering a rush of thoughts as unwanted memories surfaced without warning:

-Laurent’s face being pushed down in bed sheets- Laurent crying out before a hand clamped over his mouth, silencing him- powerful hands gripping his hips, forcing his legs apart-

Laurent wanted to scream. He tried to clamp down on the memories but they were coming thick and fast.

-A hand in his hair, easier years ago when it was longer, forcing him down rough, hot skin – hands gripping, touching, consuming his skin, unwelcome, unwanted, feared-

Wait.

It was hard to separate the memories from the present. There was a hand in his hair _now_ , taking advantage of its new length. There was another running up his arm, leaving goose-bumps in its wake. His skin prickling and burning from the touch he so desperately wanted to reject.

Laurent panicked. He fled, exiting his mind and choosing nothingness. His uncle’s words chasing him all the way down.

‘…You can never do _anything_ correctly, you have to be _made_ to do it.’

 

 

Everything was black. There was no fog this time. Laurent was deep, deep in his mind. The fog seemed to exist to hamper his thoughts whenever he wanted to think. But he didn’t want that now. He didn’t want to have thoughts, so it was just black. Laurent hid in it, used it for protection. He didn’t want to be conscious, didn’t want to have his ‘waking moments’. He wished the darkness would embrace him fully and he could be done with it all.

Why couldn’t he just _die?_

Why was it so hard? He’d given up a long time ago. He’d decided he wanted to die, so why couldn’t he? What was stopping him from being with Auguste again?

Laurent willed himself to go, to just let go.

_UGH why is this so fucking difficult?!_

 

Laurent didn’t know how much time had passed. Against his will and determination he felt the blackness slipping away, trickling from his mind as he slowly came back to awareness. It wasn’t all at once; it was in short spells.

He felt his body being washed and cleaned. He heard the curtains being opened and closed. He smelt the perfume of the doctor that came to visit him. It was light, floral, so opposite to the cloying cologne of his uncle.

But beyond identifying no immediate threat, he didn’t really pay attention.

 

It was some time before he realised the abuse hadn’t started again. There was no malicious gossip, no hair pulling, no pinching….No uncle.

 _Small mercies_ he thought.

 

It was longer even still before he had gained enough awareness to be able to tune into what people were saying around him.

‘…and you know, there really couldn’t be a worse time for this all to happen, Jesus Christ.’

It was Nikandros, he was making Laurent’s bed, folding the sheets down and under the mattress with some annoyance causing Laurent’s legs to jostle as he did so. Laurent was currently rolled onto his side so the nurse could strip and remake one side of the bed.

‘…and I only came in today because at least _one_ of us had to make it…..God.’

Nikandros finished up that side of the bed and moved across to gently tip Laurent onto his other side in order to do the same for the remaining half of the bed. For all that the nurse’s tone was laced with bitterness and irritation, his movements were gentle when it came to settling Laurent back on the bed and checking his wires. Laurent was surprised; it seemed that Nikandros, like Damen, wasn’t in the pocket of his uncle…yet.

Speaking of, where was Damen? Laurent hadn’t noticed him for a while. Although, he had been trying to will himself to death for the past few…days? So perhaps Damen had been around but Laurent hadn’t been aware of his presence.

Laurent heard Nikandros sigh.

‘I know he likes to do your hair, but…’ Nikandros inhaled and exhaled heavily, ‘I just…..no, there are some things that are just beyond me…sorry Laurent. Guess you’ll have to wait ‘till he’s back.’ And Nikandros left the room , closing the door behind him with a click.

 _What does that mean?_ Thought a puzzled Laurent. _Was he referring to Damen?_

Unable to ask Nikandros for further clarification however, meant that Laurent was left alone with his speculation as to what the nurse had meant.

 

The next morning, it was Nikandros who arrived into Laurent’s hospital room to perform the necessary checks and observations. He did them in a perfunctory manner, silent except for the beeps and whirrs of Laurent’s machines and the scratch of pen on paper as Nikandros recorded the results.

Laurent lay there, disturbed from one of his sleeping moments by the nurse attaching the blood pressure cuff onto his arm and the band swelling up to constrict his arm. It was slightly odd, all of this done in silence. Laurent found that he was used to the chatter that normally accompanied his observations, and strangely missed it. He might find Damen’s usual one-sided conversation annoying but it would be better than this long, awkward silence.

Nikandros then disappeared for some moments before returning with Laurent’s feed. He was attaching the bottle to  Laurent’s feeding tube when he suddenly swore and stopped what he was doing.

‘Ah shit. He normally warms this up doesn’t he?’

Laurent lay there, unresponsive.

‘Ughhhhhh, right, hold on,’ and Nikandros left the room again, presumably to go warm the liquid up. He returned a little later and resumed setting the bottle and pumping machine up. This time muttering under his breath.

‘It’s not even all the extra work…you know, I don’t mind that… it’s the fact that he’s off and he’s not even _sick…_ well, unless you count sick in the head, or the heart rather.’

The machine began to make a noise as it started pumping the feed into Laurent’s body and Laurent could hardly feel the liquid pass along the tube and was grateful that Nikandros had put in the extra effort to warm it up. It did make a difference. His opinion of the nurse rose slightly with this act, although he still remained distrustful of all the nurses in general. It was only a matter of time until his uncle started controlling things again.

‘Right, I think that’s you done Laurent, I won’t see you until after the weekend now and I really hope Damen will be back on Monday as well because if he isn’t I am actually going to kill her.’

And with that, he left, leaving Laurent in the room trying to puzzle out what the hell was going on.

So Damen _was_ off from work. But he wasn’t sick, that’s what Nikandros had said. So what was the matter?

Not that Laurent cared. He didn’t miss Damen, of course not. Nikandros was a perfectly competent nurse, capable of doing his job and making sure Laurent was washed and dressed and kept alive by those blasted machines. But why was there such a difference when it was Nikandros looking after him as opposed to Damen? Why did he feel like he was lacking something?

So Damen talked to him, okay, it was a bit weird it just being silence when a nurse was doing their checks but that’s the way it had nearly always been. That was the procedure at the other hospital: when there weren’t horrible things being said about him and his brother, the checks that were done were done without speaking. Damen’s constant blabbering was a distraction, an irritation, he shouldn’t miss it. He didn’t.

So Damen brushed his hair, so what? It was fairly ridiculous having a grown man brush out your hair everyday, he didn’t need it. He never asked for it in the first place! Okay, yes it felt nice and was relaxing and made him feel more comfortable lying on the bed but that meant nothing. He was in a coma, trapped in his body, the whole thing wasn’t comfortable.

It was the little things, Laurent realised as he had other nurses care for him over the next few days. It was the way Damen always opened the curtains and commented on the weather. It was the way he warmed his hands up first before touching him. It was the way he took Laurent’s pulse by hand rather than by machine. It was all these things that Laurent found himself expecting, then missing when whichever nurse was caring for him didn’t do it.

Where was Damen? What had happened to him?

Was it his uncle? It was admittedly a bit of a belated thought as Laurent wondered that perhaps his uncle had got to Damen. That perhaps he was the first nurse at this hospital to be swayed by his uncle’s charm and money. It would make sense, Damen was his primary carer, if he was brought into his uncle’s fold, then the rest, including Nikandros would surely follow.

 _That must be it_ he thought, _my days of decent care are over once more._

Monday morning came around and Laurent lay there with trepidation. He’d been ‘awake’ in his mind for a few hours, feeling tense as he waited with a certain sense of inevitability for whichever nurse would come through the door. He had convinced himself over the past few hours that this morning was when all the horrible things would start up again. He could feel the dread pooling in his stomach.

It was excruciating, lying there, waiting for his hospital room door to open. The machines were his only company, beeping in the background as they kept him alive.

It seemed a very long time before the door finally did swing open.

It was Nikandros. Laurent could tell because the nurse entered the room making a noise just short of a growl.

‘Morning Laurent,’ he grumbled, deep voice emanating from his chest. ‘Sorry I’m later than usual….Damen….Damen is not here today, again. So you’ve got me.’ Nikandros went to the window and began opening the curtains.

And that did nothing to quash Laurent’s nerves. It was clear now that Uncle had side-lined Damen, had got him out of the way somehow. It would make sense, if Damen wouldn’t bend his will to Uncle then his uncle would simply see that he was removed. That meant it was all in his uncle’s control.

Laurent would have shied away if he could, as Nikandros approached the bed. He almost held his breath as Nikandros reached and took his arm, Laurent prepared himself for pain.

But felt nothing. Nothing happened.

Well, Nikandros did his checks as normal, but nothing else happened. Nothing untoward, nothing unusual, nothing painful. It was all a bit anticlimactic. Laurent’s terror at what he had been fearfully anticipating subsided slowly as Nikandros went about the usual checks and observations, writing them down in Laurent’s file as he did so.

It was fine, it was all fine! Laurent wanted to laugh in relief. Instead he had to settle for lying there silently whilst Nikandros measured his breathing.

So his uncle wasn’t in control after all.

But wait, where was Damen? Laurent still had no explanation as to where the nurse was. If he wasn’t under his uncle’s control, and wasn’t sick, then what had happened to him?

Nikandros was bent over Laurent now fiddling with something on his head. Laurent was confused. Then he remembered that over the weekend they’d come and fitted that stupid hat back on him. Nikandros seemed to be making sure all the wires were in working order laying them across Laurent’s pillow more neatly and cursing softly when some of them got tangled.

‘Do the technicians not even care about making things comfortable?’ he muttered quietly, but seeing as he was so close, the words went right into Laurent’s ears. ‘They’ve made a complete mess of this….sorry Laurent…if I catch any of your hair it’s unintentional.’

Just as the nurse said those words one of the wires caught on a strand of Laurent’s hair and was yanked hard. Laurent, if he had been able to, would probably have smacked Nikandros in response.

‘Sorry!’ exclaimed the nurse, realising what he’d done. ‘Ah shit, sorry Laurent, these wires and your hair are _not_ a good combination. Oh shit…this is a proper mess this is. Ugh, why is Damen not here to sort this out? I am going to kill that bitch for what she’s done to him.’

What? What’s happened to Damen? Who is Nikandros talking about?

‘She must have known, she _absolutely_ must have known what she was doing, what effect this would have on him. What an absolute _cow_. And now Damen’s at home bawling his eyes out, refusing to leave his house, I’m here covering for him at work and Laurent now has wires for hair…..great. Absolutely fucking great.’

Laurent could feel small tugs on his hair at each statement Nikandros made as he tried to sort the tangled mess of Laurent’s hair and the EEG cap’s wires. He felt the mattress dip as Nikandros had to put a knee on the bed in order to get a better angle to unpick things.

Laurent processed the nurse’s words. Was this……was Damen not here because of a _break-up?_ Flabbergasted could not even come close to describing Laurent right now.

‘Of course she couldn’t just ditch him like a normal person, oh no, she had to make it even worse didn’t she,’ said Nikandros, in full diatribe now, ‘cheating on him with his own _brother!_ God how messed up do you have to be to do that? And then Damen found them together you know… ugh disgusting. Probably needs to wash his eyes out with bleach. God I could kill her, I really could.’

Laurent felt Nikandros’ hands brush carefully across his forehead, things seemed to be mostly sorted now. His mind was whirling from the revelations pouring from the nurse’s mouth.

‘I knew she was bad from the start, I called it, I said she was no good for him and look at what’s happened. Still, he wouldn’t listen to me. Jesus Christ, what a fucking mess….’ Nikandros paused, he leaned away, probably to inspect his handiwork, ‘Okay…well that’s the best I can do for now. Damen better be in tomorrow, I’ll drag him in if I have to, all this wallowing is no good. He should at least come to work to get his mind off things. I am going to kill that bitch Laurent, you heard me first.’ Laurent felt Nikandros lift off the mattress and back away, his bed sheets were tugged on and straightened.

There was a pause before Nikandros spoke again, ‘Damen’s an idiot but he’s the most decent person you’ll ever meet and he does not deserve to be treated like that… sorry about your hair Laurent, I’ll get Damen to sort it tomorrow… I’d better go, I’m already behind, bye for now Laurent.’

And Nikandros moved away from the bed and Laurent heard him picking up his patient file and his pen before leaving Laurent alone in his room with his thoughts.

Okay so maybe Laurent was being a little harsh to Damen, this break-up did sound particularly nasty; his girlfriend cheating on him with his brother?…But still... To let it affect him so much he couldn’t come into work for several days? Laurent had never been in a relationship himself but he couldn’t ever imagine something as pathetic as a break-up preventing him from doing his job. How old was Damen, twelve? He was a grown man for goodness sake! He should grow up and get on with things. He should not be wallowing at home like a sick pig, he should be at the hospital caring for his patients….caring for Laurent.

After all, Nikandros had probably made his hair into even more of a mess and Damen was the only one who could be trusted to sort it out.

Laurent didn’t miss Damen of course not.

But he needed him to hurry up and come back to work, sooner rather than later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone!  
> Here is the latest chapter, I thought it was going to be shorter seeing as it's just Laurent's POV but the word count still crept up to over 3000, so what can you do?
> 
> Thanks again to Kmoche for being on hand to answer my many hospital/nursing/patient/medical related questions :D
> 
> And thanks to everyone who's read, left a kudos or left a comment they all mean so much so thank you!
> 
> Up next: a heartbroken Damen returns to work
> 
> I HAVE EXCITING NEWS.  
> Sleeping Beauty is going to be a podfic! After a week where my sleep schedule was completely messed up I spent many, many hours listening to some awesome podfics through the night and it has inspired me to try my hand at narrating my own fic. I've now recorded the first 5 chapters so if you're intrigued and would like to listen to me butcher the pronunciation of several characters and try my hand at voicing Nicaise then please head to my tumblr where you can listen to it [here](http://hazelwickpepperweb.tumblr.com/post/163213576551/podfic-sleeping-beauty-ch-1-5-captive-prince). I will be updating this alongside my writing so they go hand in hand and it will eventually be posted on A03 once it is complete.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heartbroken Damen returns to work

‘Damen’

…

‘Damen’

…

‘Oh for the love of-‘

Damen whined as the covers were wrenched off the bed and onto the floor by an irate Nikandros.

‘I’ve had enough of this Damen! Seriously, it’s been a week. You have to get up and get back to work.’

Damen just curled up on the bare bed, pushing his head into his pillow. A week didn’t seem very long. Surely he’d been feeling this way for a lot longer. Surely he was going to be feeling this way forever.

‘Don’t want to’ he mumbled, barely audible as the pillow was in the way of his mouth.

Nikandros moved around the bed and crouched down so he was level with Damen.

‘Mate, look, I know. It’s awful, it’s seriously fucking awful and it’s only because you asked me not to that I haven’t already gone over to her house and strangled the bitch.’

Damen whined again.

‘But you can’t stay in bed forever, you can’t wallow. Sooner or later you’re gonna have to get up and get out of bed and face the world. Even if you feel like shit.’

‘I’ll choose later please,’ said Damen, his voice croaky from disuse…or from crying, at this point he wasn’t sure which.

Nikandros gazed at him sympathetically, reaching out a hand and squeezing Damen’s shoulder.

‘Come on,’ he said, quieter now, encouragingly, ‘Let’s get you up. I honestly think going to work will help, it will take your mind off things. You won’t have time to think, you’ll be so busy with your patients.’

Damen knew, objectively, that Nikandros was right. That Damen should probably have been back in work a couple of days ago, rather than just sitting in his room or moping around the house occasionally seeing something of Jokaste’s or something that reminded him of her. Things which only set him off crying again. Damen wasn’t usually prone to being so emotional, but fuck, he’d loved Jokaste, he really had.

Just thinking about her again made his eyes sting.

‘Oh Damen,’ said Nik, his heart in his voice as he saw the pain Damen felt. He found himself pulled into a hug and Nik just held him for several long moments. His slow breathing helping Damen centre himself again and stave off an onslaught of sadness. ‘You don’t have to go to work if you don’t want to, I know it’ll be hard to put yourself out there, but I do genuinely think it will be good for you.’

Damen just sniffled a bit and Nik squeezed him. They stayed like that for a little while, Damen didn’t know how long. It was nice, he was a tactile person and responded to touch. He could feel the warmth from Nikandros seeping into him, making him feel more human.

After a while, Nik pulled back, ‘Please tell me you’ll agree to showering at least, no offense mate but you stink.’

Damen let out a small laugh, the first in what felt like a lifetime, and he smiled a little wetly at Nik. ‘Okay,’ he said, ‘But….but I’m not sure about work,’

Nik nodded, eyes still on Damen’s face. ‘Just do whatever feels best,’ he said. ‘Now get into the shower and give yourself a shave, you’re beginning to look like a bear.’

Damen slowly sat up and rolled his shoulders; he felt stiff and heavy from lying down for so long. He stretched and gave a loud yawn: probably resembling a bear more than anything now, but swung his legs over the side of the bed and padded across the room to the en-suite.

He caught sight of his reflection in the mirror and grimaced. Yep, he looked like hell; eyes red-rimmed with bags and dark circles under them, his stubble several days grown in, his bottom lip split from where he’d been worrying it so much over the past week. Definitely not sexy.

He showered, relishing the hot water and the sense of cleanliness that accompanied the action. He tried not to think as he went through the motions of cleaning himself. But that proved very difficult. He couldn’t seem to go very long without tears leaking from his eyes. At least they ran off his face in the stream of water that cascaded down his body, lost down the plughole with about a week’s worth of grime.

He just constantly seemed to be asking himself _why?_ Why would she do this?

Damen was not about to force anyone to be in a relationship with him. If Jokaste  didn’t love him then he would let her walk away. But she’d said she loved him, he’d looked into her eyes as she’d said it. Trusting the words deep down in his heart and cherishing them.

So perhaps she’d fallen out of love with him. But why still be with him? He hoped he’d never given her the impression that she was forced to stay with him. But it made no sense. If she loved him why would she go fuck his brother? If she didn’t love him why hadn’t she left him? Why had she done almost the worst option possible and cheat on him?

Why, why, _why?_

_Was it him? Did he do something wrong? What did he do wrong?_

He desperately wanted to ask her, to speak to her, to see her. But Nik had quite wisely confiscated his phone this week and blocked her on every social media account Damen owned. He wanted to just speak to her, to ask her _why_  but objectively he knew he needed to be in a better headspace to do that. Not right now, not when things were so raw, he’d say something he’d regret. He wasn’t even angry yet, he was just hurt.

After an indeterminate time, he stepped out of the shower and dried off. Wrapping a towel around himself he walked over to the sink.  

Only to come up short when he saw some of Jokaste’s toiletries on the rim of the basin. He realised he was probably staring too long at the perfume and make-up items when Nik entered the bathroom with a cardboard box he’d scrounged up from somewhere.

‘Right, put all her shit in here, it needs to be gone asap,’ he said waving the box at Damen.

Damen must have pulled a face because Nik just rolled his eyes and began scooping anything that looked vaguely feminine up and started chucking it into the box, not caring whether anything was fragile or not.

Damen wanted to protest but knew he really ought to just keep his mouth shut. He watched as Nikandros did a full sweep of the bathroom, but turned away and picking up his razor began to shave off his burgeoning beard. This time, when he came back to look at his reflection, he found he looked at lot more like himself, albeit being tired and sad.

Rubbing his hair with his towel he trekked back into his bedroom.

Nikandros had been busy whilst Damen showered.

The bed had been stripped and remade. The curtains and windows opened. All the rubbish from various sweet and snack wrappers had been tidied away. The room now looked less like a pig sty and more like Damen’s bedroom again.

Nikandros bustled past him still collecting anything that remotely looked like it might belong to a woman and was plonking it all in the box.

‘Any clothes?’ he asked, looking around at Damen’s chest of drawers.

Damen pointed to a drawer on the left and Nik proceeded to rummage around. Damen turned away and opened his wardrobe. He felt like a robot, just going through the motions of getting dressed.

Nik left the room, presumably to go and scour the rest of the house for anything he deemed offendingly feminine.

Damen finished buttoning his top. He looked down, and was surprised to see he’d dressed in his nurse’s uniform.

Huh, guess he was going to work today then.

Going downstairs he found Nik waiting in the hallway.

‘Right I’ve cleared away as much of her shit as possible. Anything else?’

Damen paused and Nik continued, ‘Don’t get sentimental on me mate. You’ve gotta be ruthless, cut her out. There’s no point hanging on cos she sure as shit isn’t going to be coming back here.’

‘No I guess not,’ Damen sighed, breathing out through a tight chest; everything hurt, like physically hurt over this. He felt like he’d been hit by a lorry and then reversed over. But he knew this was the end of the relationship. There was no way Jokaste and he could get back together, not after what happened. Not after what she did.

_Just…..why  did she do it?_ He just wanted to know why.

‘Have you…’he cleared his throat, ‘have you checked under the stairs?’ he thought there might be some coats or jackets of hers under there.

‘No. Good idea,’ replied Nikandros and he strode down the hallway, and yanked open the door to the cupboard under the stairs. Damen sat down heavily on the bottom step and started to put his shoes on. They would have to leave soon if they were going to make work on time.

_Was it him? Did he do something wrong?_ He’d searched his memories over the past few days, desperate to find some explanation, some reason as to why she would leave him. Why she would seek out Kastor….what could he give her that Damen couldn’t?

It was his own brother. Kastor. Damen wasn’t that close to him, he was ten years older than Damen and the two fought more than they got on, but still, _his own brother_?

Damen hadn’t even rung his mum to tell her yet. He wasn’t sure how he was going to manage that.

He heard the cupboard door shut as Nik finished up. He’d retrieved Damen’s own coat and he handed it to him.

‘Ready to go?’ asked Nik. Damen shrugged, he wasn’t really ready, but then, when would he be? He put on his coat; the October air was bound to be chilly, as Nik put a hand on his back and pushed him gently out of the house. ‘I’ll lock up,’ he said, ‘Have you got everything?’

Damen nodded, and patted his pockets ‘I think so,’ he had his phone, his keys and his wallet. His heart was somewhere by the side of the road, ripped out and left for dead when he’d seen Jokaste fucking his brother.

He got into Nik’s car, both of them knowing he was not up for driving this morning, and sat heavily in the passenger’s seat. He leaned his head against the window and tried hard not to cry.

He knew he was being a bit pathetic but he couldn’t seem to help it. He couldn’t seem to quash the waves of emotion that would come over him every time he thought about her. Which was often. He couldn’t get the mental image of them fucking out of his mind. It was replaying over and over like some sick cartoon.

_Why would she do this? What did I do wrong?_

He only realised he’d said that last bit out loud when Nik answered him, ‘You didn’t do anything wrong mate. You were too good for her, you treated her like she was your world.’

‘She was,’ said Damen morosely.

‘I know she was. You thought she was it for you,’ said Nik starting the car and pulling off from the curb.

‘I did,’ said Damen thickly, ‘I really thought she might be the One.’

‘I know, because you buy into all that romantic shit, which has always been your problem. You wear your heart for everyone to see Damen. And then you go and get it trampled on.’

It was true. Damen had had other bad break-ups in the past. He always seemed to be the one hurting the most, even though it was only probably because he was more obvious with his emotions.

They continued on in silence for a little while before Nik tentatively asked, ‘Have you told your parents yet?’

Damen shook his head, ‘No.’

‘Any ideas about how you’re going to tell them? Or when?’

‘No.’

‘Do you want me to tell them?’

Damen considered it. It wasn’t a bad idea. He’d been dreading having to ring his mum to tell her, especially because she always got funny about Kastor. He knew she wished they had a better relationship. Well that was a false hope now. Damen didn’t even want to acknowledge he had a brother at this moment in time.

‘Maybe,’ he hedged. But they both knew that was as good as a yes. Nik had been Damen’s best friend since nursing school and had spent as much time at Damen’s parents’ house in the past 6 years as Damen had, he was an honorary family member as far as Damen’s parents were concerned. The news of Jokaste’s infidelity and with whom could be shared by Nikandros. Damen trusted him.

There was silence again. Damen’s thoughts once again returning to Jokaste.

‘But why did she have to…to fuck Kastor?’ cried Damen, voice cracking a little.

‘I don’t know!’ said Nikandros in reply, smacking a hand against the steering wheel and betraying his emotion, ‘Damen I wish I knew, I mean, it’s Kastor for fuck’s sake. I don’t know what sort of a future she thinks he’ll give her, compared to you, I mean….. she’s fucking mental…I don’t know Damen. I wish this hadn’t happened I really do, not because I thought she was any good for you, but because she’s left you like this.’

Damen exhaled heavily, trying _really_  hard not to cry.

‘You don’t deserve this,’ said Nik angrily, hands now  clenching the steering wheel as he drove, ‘You, of all people……but look, come on. We’re gonna go to work today, do a fuck ton of paperwork which hasn’t been done whilst you were off, we’re gonna make some beds, wipe some arses, clean up some dubious bodily fluids…’ Nik sighed wistfully as if it all sounded amazing. ‘I mean what’s not to love about caring for unconscious people?’

Damen chuckled, ‘That’s right, our very glamourous work.’

‘Speaking of our resident model,’ said Nikandros, turning onto the bypass which would get them to the hospital. ‘I’m sure you’ll be glad to see Laurent again.’

Laurent.

Damen had almost forgotten about him. What with everything going on in the past week…..he hadn’t spared a thought for his blonde comatose patient.

‘How’s he doing?’ asked Damen, happy to be thinking about something else, although he was genuinely curious as to Laurent’s well-being.

Nik made a non-committal sound, ‘Mmmmmm, okay I guess….he seems just the same. They put the EEG back on over the weekend and the readings haven’t been as good as before.’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah, I think they were all hoping for some engagement, some increase in brain activity after his uncle’s visit, but really, he hasn’t been doing much.’

Damen hummed as he thought about Laurent lying there, unresponsive, even after a visit from a family member.

‘The doctors are questioning the results from earlier, you know, the encouraging ones? They’re wondering whether the cap was malfunctioning for some time before it was actually reported.’

Damen frowned, ‘Oh that would be shame,’ he said, ‘the specialists were quite pleased with his brain activity,’

‘I know. But they’re going to keep it on another week to see if there’s any change. Who knows? Laurent will probably be glad to have you back, I probably didn’t do things as good as you do with him. I didn’t dare touch his hair and now it’s in a right state.’

Damen smiled, imagining Laurent laid in the hospital bed, hair sticking up all over the place, a contrast with his picture perfect face.

They were nearing the hospital complex now and Nikandros pulled the car into the carpark, luckily managing to snag a place close to one of the entrances. They came to a halt and unbuckled their seats. Nik got out of the car but Damen needed another minute or so to psyche himself up. He didn’t feel ready for this, ready to go back to his cheerful, capable self. The last time he was here he was blissfully unaware and ignorant of Jokaste and his brothers secret trysts. How he wished to go back to that. The knowledge and heartbreak of everything hung over him; a physical weight on his shoulders.

Before Nik could nag him for staying in the car too long he made himself get out and shut the door behind him. That was a bit harsh; Nik had been clear that it was up to Damen whether he wanted to come to work. His friend wasn’t making him do anything, he only had Damen’s best interest at heart, he only wanted to see him happy.

Damen clenched his jaw hard to stave off a fresh wave of sadness. He put his hands in his pockets for want of something better to do and his left hand  came across something, there in his scrub pocket. He drew it out and looked down.

It was Laurent’s hairbrush.

Well, actually it was the one he originally borrowed from Fiona but seeing as he hadn’t ever given it back it was probably safest to say that it was Laurent’s now. There, snagged in the bristles were fine strands of blonde hair.

For a second it reminded him of Jokaste’s  hair but really, Laurent’s hair was silver blonde whereas Jokaste’s was golden.

It didn’t trigger any sadness in him, looking at the brush and thinking of Laurent. Instead it seemed to perform the opposite: he stepped forward, determined now to make his way into the hospital, he had patients to care for, he had Laurent to care for.

 

Seeing Laurent again was like a balm on his poor, blistered heart.

His room was peaceful, away from the hustle and bustle of the ward. Away from Nik and everyone else treating him like he was going to break any second, or alternatively trying to desperately cheer him up.

Damen stood in Laurent’s room for a little while without announcing himself. He watched the young man silently in front of him. The only movement his chest rising and falling with each slow breath from his lungs. For one, brief moment Damen envied him. Envied the chance to not think, to not feel, to just be separate from it all for a while. Although that thought was quickly chased away. Damen needed to stop projecting things onto Laurent. He didn’t know him, he didn’t know what he was going through. The man in front of him had lost a father and a brother and was now in a coma. Damen’s heartbreak, albeit sincere and painful and raw, was nothing really in comparison.

He moved forward and cleared his throat, trying to squash down feelings of guilt about just staring at Laurent and being a little bit jealous.

‘Hi Laurent,’ he said, ‘It’s me, Damen. I’m back and I’ll be taking care of you this afternoon.’

Laurent, as always, gave no response. Undeterred, Damen approached the bed and began to do his observations. Taking Laurent’s temperature, blood pressure, and pulse. Holding Laurent’s wrist in his hand as he took his patient’s pulse manually, Damen looked down at Laurent’s hair. He stifled a chuckle…unsuccessfully.

‘Oh dear, Laurent. What has Nikandros been doing with your hair?’

Pulse taken and noted down. Damen set about rearranging Laurent’s appearance. It was somewhat difficult with the EEG cap in the way, but Damen managed to brush the strands that were poking out into a much smoother and acceptable state than they had been previously. He made sure the blonde strands were separated from the wires of the EEG and that everything was laid flat and smooth against the pillow.

‘Much better,’ Damen said acknowledging his labour. He felt a bit indulgent and so plucking his torch from his shirt pocket he leant over and carefully opened Laurent’s eyes and checked his pupils. Lingering perhaps a little longer than was strictly necessary he peered into Laurent’s eyes, watching the dark pupil’s shrink under the light of the torch. His eyes really were the most brilliant blue.

‘I don’t suppose you can keep your eyes open for me today could you Laurent?’ asked Damen watching the young man’s face intently, ‘You know it would really make my day, hell, it would make my week if you did.’ He hovered at the young man’s bedside, almost holding his breath.

But nothing. Laurent’s eyes fell shut one after another and he lay there, to all appearances asleep.

Damen let out a sigh as he straightened up, but rallied quickly, ‘Not to worry Laurent. You’ll do things in your own time I’m sure. I’m just glad to be back. Things…things have been tough, but it’s okay. I’m back here now, I’ve got Nik, I’ve got my work, I’ve got _you._ Although I don’t want you to think you’re my favourite patient or anything, I’m a true professional, I don’t have favourites. But…if I did, you would be one of them I promise.’

Damen smiled then. His expression brought forth naturally from him by the words he spoke. It was a genuine, cheerful smile which caused his poor, downtrodden heart to lift. He felt, for the first time in what felt like forever, like he might actually have a chance at happiness again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovely readers!
> 
> What's this? Another chapter so soon*?  
> (*relatively soon)  
> Yes, it is! But Im hoping to butter you up with this chapter before telling you that Im going on holiday for 3 weeks, camping, with limited internet. So no chapter for quite a while I'm afraid.
> 
> This week has been difficult, I had a poorly pet and poor mental health so I'm just so pleased to get this chapter out there. And I know it's basically 3000 words of Damen moping, so I'm sorry, but this is peak mope and we should get back to regularly scheduled Laurent snark soon enough in the next chapter, because......
> 
> next chapter:  
> Laurent has to put up with Damen's low mood and Damen discovers the Uncle has done something to Laurent's file.
> 
>  
> 
> So I shall see you all after my hols, I hope you are all having nice Summers too. Im going to take the opportunity to re-read all of the Captive Prince books and come back with some fresh inspiration. In the meantime, why don't you check out the first 5 chapters of this fic narrated by yours truly [here](http://hazelwickpepperweb.tumblr.com/post/163213576551/podfic-sleeping-beauty-ch-1-5-captive-prince)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurent resolves and Damen discovers.

Laurent almost missed Damen’s return.

He was dozing, having been awoken earlier by a nurse coming to wash him, and just about ready to settle down to sleep when he was jolted back to consciousness by a familiar voice he had not heard in a while: ‘Hi Laurent, it’s me, Damen. I’m back and I’ll be taking care of you this afternoon.’

 _Well it’s about time_ thought Laurent, _where have you been?_

But of course he got no answer as Damen just moved forward and began to go through his checks. Laurent could tell it was Damen even if the nurse hadn’t announced himself he would have known; Damen was the only nurse who took his pulse by feeling his wrist. The others all just attached the machine to his finger, but Damen was different.

Damen’s fingers were a warm and gentle pressure on the inside of his wrist. The seconds ticked by as he measured his pulse.

_How long have you been away?_

Time was very difficult to measure when all you had were indiscernible waking and sleeping moments. It seemed like Damen had been away a long time, a week maybe? Ten days?

When Damen’s fingers retracted Laurent felt slightly adrift. He felt like he needed to hold onto something, but immobilised as he was he had to put up with the slight dizzying feeling he was experiencing.

It was probably just his meds, or tiredness.

Laurent’s thoughts were interrupted by Damen chuckling, ‘Oh dear, Laurent. What has Nikandros been doing with your hair?’

_If it looks like a rats nest then you only have yourself to blame. You weren’t here to correct it. In your absence I have been subject to ridicule, I don’t doubt it looks atrocious. Where have you been?_

But then Damen was stroking a brush through the long strands of his hair, taking time to be careful and not let the hair catch on the wires. Laurent felt himself settle. Ahh he had missed this.

Laurent knew it was foolish to get attached. The imminent threat of his uncle hung over everything.

 _But I suppose I can take small pleasures_ thought Laurent.

‘Much better’ said Damen when he'd finished. He seemed pleased.

_I’ll have to take your word for it._

Then, without so much as a warning, his eyelids were being lifted and a torch shone into his eyes. The light was bright and Laurent wanted to flinch away and blink several times. But of course his body was completely uncooperative.

All he could see were bright spots in his vision, caused by the torch.

‘I don’t suppose you can keep your eyes open for me today could you Laurent?’ he heard Damen say. Laurent could feel the warm skin of the nurse’s fingers on his temples as they held his eyes open.

_I….I can’t…._

‘You know it would really make my day, hell, it would make my week if you did.’

And Damen sounded so morose, so unlike his usual cheerful self Laurent had got used to.

_I can’t... don’t you understand? I….can’t. I haven’t been able to since the first few days….I couldn’t even if I wanted to……_

There was a long pause, Laurent knew Damen was waiting on him.

_But maybe…..maybe I want to…_

It was useless. Laurent’s eyes closed of their own accord before he could even gather any sort of control. Could Damen open them again for him? Maybe another try? He was still seeing bright ellipticals even behind his eyelids. But perhaps another go and he might be able to do it… he might be able to see Damen.

But no.

Laurent wanted to lash out in frustration.

_I…..you can’t spring that on me without any warning. I wasn’t prepared!_

Damen let out a long sigh and Laurent’s stomach sank. He felt like he’d let Damen down, however absurd a feeling that was. He wasn’t under obligation to anybody. It had been stupid of Damen to ask that of him. He wasn’t able to move, did the nurse not understand? Of course he wasn’t just going to open his eyes and start talking. He was trapped like this forever.

But then Damen was speaking: ‘Not to worry Laurent. You’ll do things in your own time I’m sure.’

And now Laurent felt even _worse._   Not only did he feel like he’d disappointed Damen, but now the nurse was being so…so…so _fine_ about all of it. How annoying.

_Yes, well,  you didn’t even give me chance to try. Next time give me fair warning alright?_

Damen was still talking, Laurent tuned back in, ‘I’m just glad to be back. Things…things have been tough, but it’s okay. I’m back here now, I’ve got Nik, I’ve got my work, I’ve got _you._ Although I don’t want you to think you’re my favourite patient or anything, I’m a true professional, I don’t have favourites. But…if I did, you would be one of them I promise.’

And Laurent felt warm and flushed at that. It wasn’t anything, the air conditioning was probably playing up again, or they’d given him too many blankets.

Okay, he'd admit that a part of him was pleased to have Damen back. His hair had been in a state, his feed wasn’t always warmed up, it had been quiet; no one else but Damen spouted such mundane chatter. But what on earth was Damen going on about favourites for? _Idiot._

But it wasn’t the usual happy, cheerful chatter Laurent had become familiar with when Damen was in the room. Usually Laurent found Damen’s buoyant nature somewhat nauseating but this was disconcerting.

The nurse continued his checks, Laurent could hear the scratch of the pen across the paper, marking down the measurements. There were long gaps of silence, before Damen seemed to snap himself out of whatever he’d been thinking and started off on some new topic such as the weather, sports or ward gossip. It was stilted talking, so at odds with the usual effortless conversation Damen employed.

It wasn’t even a conversation, given one of the participants couldn’t even join in.

Laurent thought about what Nikandros had said about Damen’s girlfriend- _ex-girlfriend now._ If Damen was letting this break-up getting to him this much he was a fool. These things only ever ended, usually messily.

To be fair to the nurse it had sounded bad. Something about her cheating on him? Laurent struggled to remember, Nikandros had babbled quite a bit about it, but his memory wasn’t reliable since he’d been in a coma. But whatever had happened it had caused Damen to be off for a long time. Had he been _that_ upset over it? Good Lord, Laurent was finding it hard to recollect a time when he’d ever been that cut up over a relationship….well given he’d never been in a relationship there wasn’t much to compare so really Laurent couldn’t be empathetic.

Although he could try for sympathetic…

How hard could it be?

…

…

…

 _Hmmm, okay I’m not very good at sympathetic_ thought Laurent. _But…whoever she was, she wasn’t worth crying over. That much is certain_.

 

 

Damen strode down the central ward corridor, upon approaching the nurse’s station, he slammed Laurent’s file down on the desk, causing Nikandros to jump.

‘What the f-‘

‘What the hell is this?’ Damen interrupted, gesturing angrily to the front cover of Laurent’s file.

Nikandros scowled, his whole face darkening like a storm cloud, ‘Oh, you saw.’

‘Yes I did,’ growled Damen, folding his arms across his chest. ‘Can’t miss it. It’s on the fucking front page.’

Nik looked warily around for any other staff but the ward was quiet for now. ‘It happened whilst you were away, Laurent’s uncle had a meeting with Professor Ayub and the Ward Sister.’

‘They can’t have sanctioned this, surely?’ asked Damen incredulous.

Nik spread his hands in a _I don’t know_  gesture. ‘I…’ he sighed, ‘Apparently yes.’

‘But this is….’ Damen found himself lost for words, he sort of turned on the spot as if looking down the ward would help him discover the words to say. It didn’t help. ‘…This is fucking mental’ he hissed, ‘Laurent’s not _that_ sick, he’s just…’

‘Been unresponsive in a coma for nine months?’ offered Nikandros.

Damen whirled on him angrily, sparks ready to fly, ‘You can’t _possibly_ agree?’

‘No, I don’t. But I can see it from the Uncle’s point of view,’ replied Nik steadily. ‘He can’t see any improvement from Laurent in the nine months and he can’t see him improving in the future…It’s so hard for the families Damen,’

‘I _know_ ’ said Damen, ‘I know that.. but to get a Do-Not-Resuscitate order, that’s….’

‘Yes,’ grumbled Nik, ‘Everyone on the ward’s hardcore judging him right now.’

‘I don’t understand,’ said Damen shaking his head, ‘Laurent isn’t that bad. You know we’ve had _way_ worse patients, patients who are never going to wake up. I mean, Laurent’s stubborn, but I honestly think he’ll make it in the end.’

Nik sighed heavily, ‘I agree, but as his next of kin, Laurent’s uncle has the option of a DNR….hopefully, we’ll never get there. Maybe he’ll just sit up one day and yell at you for being so annoying.’

Nikandros’ attempt at humour broke the tense atmosphere.

‘I’m not annoying’ protested Damen, ‘When am I ever annoying?’

‘Mate you’re constantly chattering to him, maybe he wants some peace and quiet.’

‘He’s had peace and quiet,’ said Damen, ‘A whole week of it whilst I was away, and I didn’t hear about him waking up and having a cup of tea did I? I have my methods Nik, I think talking to patients is good for them.’

Nik sighed again, ‘I guess,’ he said. ‘It beats talking to yourself at any rate.’

Damen refrained from jumping on the end of that. He huffed, ‘…I’m just, not very impressed with the Uncle, I think he’s being far too negative about Laurent. I think he needs some more faith in his nephew. What did he say when he came to visit?’

Nik looked at Damen, ‘He didn’t come up to the ward. He just met with Prof Ayub and the Sister.’

‘He didn’t even visit his nephew?’

‘Sometimes it’s hard for them Damen,’

‘I know, but-‘

‘Just…drop it Damen,’

There was a pause. Damen was on the edge of agreeing with Nik; who was he to judge the families of these patients? Laurent’s uncle had suffered a lot, maybe it was just too painful to see Laurent in a coma. But then he remembered something, something the little boy Nicaise had said.

Something about an inheritance….Damen racked his brains trying to remember their conversation. It had happened just days before he’d seen Jokaste and Kastor- _nope not thinking about that._

Damen thought further back. Nicaise had been bratty but he’d let slip something about an inheritance and then seemed shocked when Damen didn’t know anything.

‘Wait a minute,’ he said out loud, partly to Nikandros, partly to nobody in particular and he strode around the nurses station to sit at one of the computers.

A quick google search was all it took. Why had he not done it sooner?

Most of the top hits were about the tragic accident with the DeVere family. But clicking on an article, Damen found there was a bit more backstory than just Laurent’s medical file.

_Tragedy for the DeVere Family._

_Last night, in the early hours of the morning at 2am, tragedy struck. Two members of the DeVere family were killed and another severely injured when their car collided head on with another vehicle travelling in the opposite direction._

_Mr Aleron DeVere, 54, head of the family and the CEO of Arles Capital Consulting was declared dead at the scene along with his eldest son Mr Auguste DeVere, 29. The younger Mr Laurent DeVere, 22, remains in a critical condition in Princess Royal Hospital after being evacuated by Air Ambulance._

_The three men were travelling back late at night, just having had attended a charity ball fundraising for the Arles Inc charity ‘Little Sapphires’ which supports vulnerable children in care._

_The driver of the other vehicle in the collision has been declared missing. The police are currently undertaking a search of the surrounding area, after speculation that the driver may have left the vehicle to go get help. So far there is no news on the identity of the driver of the BMW which collided with the Rolls Royce of the DeVere family._

_Aleron DeVere, widower of 15 years and father to both Auguste and Laurent, was the CEO of Arles Capital Consulting, (ACC) a firm he helped set up with his brother Richard DeVere, 53, back in the 80’s. Back in 2009 it was estimated that Aleron DeVere had a net worth of £56 million which has only increased in the years since with the widely reported aggressive take-overs of other consulting firms: Vask Empirical and Patras Solutions in 2013 and 2015 respectively which were touted as their main rivals. ACC has only gone from strength to strength since then with the company reporting a turnover of £96 million last financial year._

_Auguste DeVere was frequently touted as the successor to Aleron and generated a great deal of buzz in the business world a few years ago when he entered the entrepreneurial scene with several new innovations for ACC. which resulted in the company investing in a series of new ventures and famously hiring the head of PR at Vask Empirical: Vannes Pavilion and head of recruitment: Torveld Prince of Patras Solutions to facilitate new directions for the company. At the time Prince was quoted saying that ‘Auguste’s great power is getting people onside. For him, there is no enemy. Don’t get me wrong, he loves competition and he loves winning. But winning at the cost of destroying someone else? That’s not Auguste. He’s stupidly, nobly fair and that in itself is his greatest achievement to date: staying true to himself in this cutthroat world which only seeks to tear people down. We could all, myself included, learn a lot from him.’_

_The loss of Aleron and his son Auguste will be felt deeply. Not only by their friends and family, who have our thoughts and prayers in this difficult time, but also by the business world which has lost two of their brightest and most successful innovators.  Richard DeVere, brother of Aleron has stepped in to the C.E.O position to ensure there is some stability at the company in the meantime, however, the family fortune is actually due to be inherited by the youngest DeVere: Laurent._

_Laurent DeVere is the most junior of the DeVere family and having graduated last year from Oxford with a first class honours degree in English Literature, he was well known to eschew his family’s plan for him to go work at ACC. Laurent once famously said to his friends, ‘I leave all that to my brother, let him have his money and his fame, I’d much rather have my books.’ In this twist of fate the brother who least wanted the job of working for his family, now stands to inherit the company, its assets, the title of C.E.O and the personal family fortune of millions. However, latest reports from the nearby Princess Royal hospital have informed us that Laurent is in a comatose state caused by a serious head injury. It remains to be seen whether he will stabilise from this critical condition. In the case that Laurent should die, his uncle Richard DeVere, will inherit everything._

There was more to the article: further speculation on who the mystery driver of the BMW could be, and how the cars had collided on a seemingly deserted road but Damen had read enough. Laurent was heir to a company and a fortune of _millions._

And Damen had been chatting to him about the weather.

And he’d brushed his hair.

Holy shit.

He stood up so fast he knocked into the desk. Skidding down the hallway to Nik's shout of ‘Where are you going? What _the hell_ is going on?’ Damen wrenched open the door to Laurent’s room and-

Stopped.

Laurent was there. Lying in the bed. Not having moved an inch since Damen had last seen him.

Still looking as beautiful.

Damen wasn’t sure what he’d expected really. Some great big reveal or something where Laurent would sit up and say ‘Oh by the way I’m the heir to a multi-gazillion fortune.’

But nothing had changed.

Laurent was still unconscious, still unmoving and locked in his comatose state.

So he was rich. So what? It didn’t change anything. It didn’t change the level of care Damen gave him. Damen would still die everything in his power to help Laurent wake-up.

Although-Suddenly the Do-Not-Resuscitate order installed by Laurent’s uncle made a lot more sense.

‘Fuck,’ swore Damen softly.

He moved from the doorway into the room. Coming to stand by Laurent’s bed and looking down at the pale face.

It was clear now. Laurent’s uncle would very much prefer it if Laurent did not wake up.

Damen had no proof, no hard evidence, nothing to go on except circumstance. No one would believe his suspicions, except perhaps Nik. The Uncle had seemed so loving, so caring when he’d visited. Was there some way to reconcile the man who had shown his love for Laurent with the man who had everything to gain from Laurent’s death and who had initiated the Do-Not-Resuscitate order? It was a low move. The article had just provided a reason as to why the Uncle had done it.

And to think little Nicaise had boasted about inheriting Laurent’s fortune. Damen was almost grateful for the boy's big mouth.

Damen didn’t care about money. He wouldn’t’ve become a nurse if he did. He cared about people. That was his nature and that’s what he did, what he was good at.

‘Well Laurent,’ he announced, ‘We shall just have to prove everyone wrong then. Let’s figure out how to wake you up.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Long time no see!  
> My holiday was lovely (I accidentally wrote a whole fic) but it's been so hectic since I got back!  
> I've moved back to London and returned back to work this week alone!
> 
> Thank you for all your lovely comments you are all amazing people. Also, for those messaging worrying if I was going to update this fic, I post regularly on my [tumblr](http://hazelwickpepperweb.tumblr.com) where I am at with my fic writing/podfic recording. So please check that out. I dont have an update schedule because I just wouldnt be able to keep to it what with working full time and everything, but I promise you, I wont abandon this fic. I love it too much.
> 
> Also, I am SCREAMING, the lovely tumblr user stereohz did some fanart for this fic! Please go take a look [here](http://hazelwickpepperweb.tumblr.com/post/164369430316/stereohz-ethereal-and-pale-laurent-devere-was) and show them some love! It's so beautiful, im crying and dont know what to do with myself.
> 
> Also once again thanks to kmoche for the advice on DNR orders, my wonderful medical beta!
> 
> Next chapter: Damen wants to do something for Laurent's 23rd birthday.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a very self-indulgent birthday present to myself :P

‘So we’re all agreed then? We’re all gonna try our best to get Molly home by Christmas?’

There came a chorus of ‘Yes’s' around the room, the loudest coming from Damen. He was so pleased, Molly was making progress day by day and this was going to be the news her family had been waiting for, for so long.

It was going to be an effort, make no mistake, Molly might be awake for long stretches now and starting to talk but she was going to need months of speech and physical therapy, if not years. But, _but,_ there was no medical reason why she couldn’t go home at Christmas and that was fantastic. Damen was already beaming and he hadn’t even got onto the ward yet. He was in the regular Monday morning nurses briefing where all the nurses discussed their patient's statuses and progress.

‘In some not so good, but expected news, the family of Graham Wilkes have agreed to turn his life support off on Wednesday this week so we need to get everything prepared for that as well. I’ve already told the donor team as his family want his body to be donated to medical science which is very generous of them. And we’ve got the grief counsellor coming in that day as well for the family so everyone be ready for that this week.’ Abi said with a heavy tone. Damen felt for her, she’d been liaising with the Wilkes family for weeks, and it was a sad conclusion.

But this was the reality of working on the ward, you got some Mollys and you got some Grahams. Who would Laurent turn  out to be? Damen wondered.

‘Now, moving onto our resident sleeping beauty Laurent DeVere...’ continued Abi. Damen sat up from where he’d been slouching a little and focused.

‘We’ve had the results back from the EEG cap and -Damen you’ll be pleased to hear this -they’ve come back really positive!’

‘What?’ Damen said, completely shocked.

‘Yeah, apparently at first they weren’t getting much at all, just fluctuations in the dreamwaves, but as of last week, suddenly he seems to have picked up and there are moments where his brain waves show that he's having spells of ‘alertness.’

‘That's, that’s amazing,’ exclaimed Damen, still shocked, his brain not really taking things in, he’d not expected-

Nikandros slapped him on the back, ‘Guess you’ve been doing something right you idiot,’ he said with a grin.

‘Yes it’s fantastic,’ agreed Abi, ‘the specialists want to come and discuss things further with you Damen, later this morning if that’s okay.’

Damen nodded, that was fine by him.

‘As for more generally, Laurent has steadily been putting on weight which is great news and the physical therapists did their observations last week and have got a training exercise regime in place that we're expected to follow.’

Abi held up a plastic wallet with what looked like a timetable and illustrated  demonstrations of physical movements inside. ‘I’m putting this in Laurent’s file, the exercises are just once a day at the moment and you’ll need to tick off when you’ve done them.’

There was agreement around the room of nurses despite some grumbles of ‘Why can’t phys-therapy come do it themselves?’.

‘I’m hoping,’ persevered Abi over the mutters around the room, ‘That with Laurent improving both physically and mentally, that we can put the case forward for getting the Do-Not-Resuscitate order lifted.’

That sparked even more backchat from the gathered staff.

‘Why does he even have it in the first place?’ asked Nikandros frustrated.

Abi sighed and looked weary ‘I gather the doctors and Professor Ayub had convincing evidence provided by the Princess Royal Hospital. That and the Uncle had strong wishes on the DNR.’

‘But it’s mental,’ protested Nik, ‘He’s doing better than half our other patients who don’t have DNR orders.’

‘Nik I don’t make the rules,’ replied the Ward Sister. ‘Alright? I know we're all cross about the DNR, but hopefully we’ll never be in a situation where it’s needed. Let's all keep pushing on with Laurent, especially now we know his brain is responding to stimulus.’

And that was the end of the meeting. Everyone filtered out of the meeting room and headed back to their tasks on the ward.

Damen fell into step with Nik on the way out. ‘Thanks mate,’ he said.

‘Don’t mention it,’ said Nik with a grin, ‘I’ll happily have Abi pissed at me, the whole thing is ridiculous.’

Before the meeting Damen and Nik had agreed that Nik would press Abi on the DNR order. Damen was still seething over discovering it and didn’t trust himself to control his temper in a team meeting. The DNR order was infuriating. Even more so now with news that Laurent was showing signs of improvement.

‘Can’t believe the EEG showed something though,’ he said to Nik.

‘Yeah I know! And after all that mess with it not working and stuff. Let me know what the brain specialists say later yeah?’

‘Will do'.

Damen inevitably made his way back to Laurent’s room. His feet taking him along the familiar route . He opened the door and gave his usual morning greeting, ‘Morning Laurent. It’s me Damen and I’ll be your nurse today.’

He opened the curtains to the room, it was still fairly dark outside, well into the month of October and the weather was grim to match. Rain ran down the window pane.

‘Urgh it’s a horrible morning Laurent, I don’t blame you for staying in bed.’ He looked over to Laurent who was lain on his side facing the window. He was wedged in placed with a couple of pillows. Damen checked Laurent’s chart to see the last time he was turned. Yesterday.

Damen stuck his head out in the corridor to look for someone to help him turn Laurent and change his bedding. He needed to be turned regularly so he wouldn’t get bed sores.

But before he could find Nik or another nurse he was collared by a doctor with a bunch of wires and a laptop in her hands.

‘Hi are you Damen?’ she asked.

‘That’s me,’ confirmed Damen. He hovered in the doorway to Laurent’s room, leaning against the doorjamb with a foot outstretched holding open the door.

‘Hello, I’m here to talk to you about Laurent’s brain activity, have you got a few moments?’

‘Oh yeah of course!’ said Damen, instantly excited.

‘Brilliant, are we...can we go into Laurent’s room? It’ll be easiest to show you.’

‘Sure,’ said Damen, ‘he’s just in here.’ And he guided the doctor into the hospital room.

‘Oh he’s still got the cap on, that’s great,’ said the doctor moving around the bed to inspect Laurent’s head. ‘Do you mind if I just plug these wires in? I’m just going to connect them to the laptop so I can show you the readings.’

‘You mean I get to see Laurent’s brainwaves?’ asked Damen excitedly.

‘In a manner of speaking,’ said the doctor hooking up the wires to various ports on the cap and then the laptop.

‘That’s really cool,’ said Damen, ‘You hear that Laurent? I get to read your mind!’

The doctor laughed, ‘Not quite! But I’m hoping we will get some good readings,’

She finished what she was doing and set the laptop on the bedside cabinet near to Laurent’s bed.

‘Right, bear with me a sec....just uploading the data now.....’ there were a few long seconds where Damen waited with baited breath. And then: ‘Aha there we go! So it’s just processing and Yeah, here we go, so we can see these waves here-'

She pointed to the screen where there was a blue line fluctuating up and down slowly. The peaks and troughs were large as it flowed across the screen.

‘This is the basic wave here okay, for simplicity’s sake. It’s obviously a lot more complicated than this but for monitoring purposes we’ve set it up like this for you okay?’

‘Okay,’ said Damen staring at the blue wave.

‘So the general rule is the slower and bigger the wave the more unresponsive the patient, the quicker and smaller the wave, the more alert they are. So this is data from this morning and there usually a bit of a lag as the data is downloaded and then put through this programme on the laptop. But we can see here from about ten minutes ago the wave is what I would call a Delta wave, as it fits in this range here-' she pointed to some tabs on the axis at the side of the wave. Damen could see they were labelled, Delta, Theta, Alpha and Beta.

‘So Delta waves show deep sleep, dreamless sleep, so we can see that Laurent was unconscious and not thinking, not alert, properly asleep. That’s fine, that’s good, we need that sort of sleep to heal. But obviously if the patient is like this all the time it doesn’t bode well for them regaining consciousness.’

‘Okay,’ said Damen, concentrating hard so he understood.

‘Yeah so Laurent was almost permanently like this a few weeks ago, his brain was predominantly Delta waves with sometimes increasing to Theta waves which are synonymous for dreaming and...’ she hesitated, ‘... it’s also the state which the brain uses to process experiences such as fears and troubled history...nightmares are common.’

‘He was having nightmares?’ Damen asked faintly. He felt a bit sick, imagining what it was like to be unable to wake up from a nightmare. How horrible for Laurent.

‘Well, it’s hard to tell, as he can’t exactly tell us what’s going on inside his head, but yes, I suspect at the very least he'd have been experiencing very vivid dreams and given he’s in this state because of a huge trauma, the brain will be trying to process all of that...’

‘I’m so sorry Laurent,’ Damen said, his voice small. He felt something in his chest grow tight, like his lungs suddenly couldn’t fill to capacity and his breathing was short.

The doctor seemed to sense his worry, ‘But hold on, it’s not all bad remember? He started picking up a bit just over a week or so ago. And I’m hoping now, we’ll get to see a bit more alertness. When did you come into the room this morning?’

‘Er literally just now,’ said Damen, looking away from Laurent and blinking at the doctor, ‘About  five minutes before you arrived.’

‘Okay,’ said the doctor brightly. ‘So hopefully we should see.....’ and she petered out, watching the screen intently. It was a few long moments and then: ‘Aha! Look! There we go!’ she pointed to the screen.

Damen moved closer to see. The wave was transforming in front of him, the peaks and troughs were narrowing, and the speed was picking up too.

‘Wow,’ he breathed out. All that tension from before seeping out as he saw the line on the screen move and change.

‘Yeah so these are Alpha waves now,’ said the doctor a finger tracing over the wave as it bobbed on the screen. ‘They show alertness, Laurent is  ‘present’, it’s very likely he can hear us and can think coherent thoughts.’

Damen looked down at Laurent, the same serene face as ever but now he had an idea of what was behind the facade.

An active mind.

‘Hi there Laurent,’ he said, voice full of wonder.

There was silence for several long moments.

Then Damen and the doctor both laughed, breaking the atmosphere.

‘Ah, it was silly on me to think he'd reply wasn’t It?’ chuckled Damen ruefully, a hand coming to rub at the back of his neck.’

‘No not at all,’ said the doctor with a smile, ‘I think it’s really good that you talk to him like he can hear you, and the proof is here...’ she gestured to the screen. ‘Laurent is clearly responding to you so I’d carry on if I were you.’

‘Oh wow, okay,’ said Damen, ‘Normally people say I’m being stupid talking to the patients.’

The doctor shook her head, ‘It's not stupid at all, from studies I’ve read and from talking to coma patients after they’ve woken up the evidence is there to show that outside stimulus such as talking really makes a difference.’

‘And you think it’s making a difference for Laurent?’

‘Absolutely,’ said the doctor with a firm not. ‘We shall continue to monitor him but I will leave this equipment here so you can monitor Laurent yourself in real time and then if you just save the data to the network at the end of each day we can do some more in depth analysis in the lab. How about that?’

‘That’s fantastic’ breathed Damen, he could feel his heart race a little in his chest at the thought of being able to monitor Laurent’s brain activity in real time.

‘Yeah it is pretty cool,’ grinned the doctor, ‘Now, I think that’s it, so if you need any help or advice or information me just ring the lab and ask for me.’

Damen assured her that he would and saw her out of the room.

Once he was alone with Laurent he quickly moved back to the screen. The wave was still moving at a pace; Laurent was thinking, he was _responding._ Maybe not physically but mentally he was engaging.

Damen wanted to engage with him. _What should he say?_

Normally he was never lost for words but now that he knew Laurent was likely listening...

After dithering for a few seconds he pulled himself together and decided he’d get told off by Nik or Abi for standing around like a plum and not doing anything.

He started to do all of Laurent’s regular checks as usual, and talked whilst he did so, being careful to explain what he was doing even though Laurent had likely heard it all before. There was some comfort in familiarity.

Damen continued chatting, telling Laurent about how his weekend had gone. How he and Nik had gone to the pub with a couple of mates on Friday night and how he’d probably had too much to drink. He was still getting over Jokaste and he’d had the good idea to drown his sorrows in alcohol, (and afterwards in the attractive bartender – he neglected to mention this to Laurent at this point however).

Then Saturday had been spent getting over his hangover and ignoring concerned phone calls from his mum. He still couldn’t talk to her about Jokaste, never mind Kastor. But then he felt he had to explain the backstory to Laurent or else he probably wouldn’t understand. So he told his sleeping patient all about his ex-girlfriend and his brother and about how lousy he still felt and about how he couldn’t really enjoy things with the bartender on Friday night. And by the time he realised he was completely oversharing Nik walked in offering to help turn Laurent over.

‘Laurent’s your new therapist is he?’ asked Nik with a wry smile.

‘I- no…..I’m probably not being very professional,’ confessed Damen, as he settled Laurent into the new position on the bed, making sure he was propped up on enough pillows.

‘I wouldn’t worry mate, he probably can’t hear you,’ said Nik who was currently laying Laurent’s wires all straight.

‘Ah….well…about that…’

And so Damen showed Nikandros the laptop which was broadcasting Laurent’s brain activity. Unsurprisingly, Nik  was completely and immediately hooked on it. Like a child with a new toy, he clicked through the various tabs on the programme and looking back and forth from Laurent to the laptop with an expression of wide-eyed wonder. Damen thought he’d probably looked somewhat similar when the doctor was explaining things to him earlier. He couldn’t keep a smile off his face.

‘This is beyond cool,’ said Nik, fifteen minutes later and distracted from where he was helping Damen with Laurent’s exercises by watching the patient’s brain waves on the screen.

Damen didn’t particularly need Nik’s help to move Laurent’s legs back and forth, nevertheless, it had come in handy having another person around who could decipher the diagrams on the sheet left by the physical therapy team. They were just simple movements; gentle exercises to help combat Laurent’s muscle decline and to help with circulation and blood flow. There were about five different motions for his legs and arms and they didn’t take too long.

‘I know right?’ said Damen, setting down Laurent’s left leg by his right and bringing the covers back over him, tucking the edges under just so.

‘Oh look, what does this mean?’ Nik was  pointing at the screen.

Damen moved over to look, the wave was getting longer and slower.

‘Probably means he’s falling asleep,’

‘Oh, right,’ whispered Nik and he began to back away from the laptop and Laurent’s bed. Obviously trying to be quiet but failing miserably as he bumped into the table by the door.

‘What are you doing?’ asked Damen, staring at him in bewilderment.

‘Leaving him alone if he’s sleeping. He doesn’t need us keeping him awake. We’ve been here….oh shit! Damen why didn’t you tell me I’d been here nearly twenty minutes! Abi’s gonna kill me, I said I’d only be five!’

Damen barely managed to hold his laughter until they’d both left Laurent’s room and then he let it out as Nik sprinted off down the corridor, the sound following hot on the heels of his best friend.

*~*

Over the next few weeks Laurent quickly became the ward’s centre of attention. There was a high degree of fascination with the laptop and the wave which kept flowing endlessly across the screen. All the nurses who took shifts looking after Laurent kept their eyes glued to the screen for any change in the steady up and down rhythm of the wave, but more often than not it remained sluggish. Delta waves seemed to be the norm, revealing Laurent spent most of his time in dreamless sleep. It made it all the more exciting therefore, on the few occasions where Laurent became alert enough for the Alpha waves to register on the screen.

Then, it became something of a competition between the nurses as to who could get Laurent to engage. Who could get the Alpha waves on the screen and who could keep him in that state the longest.

The physical exercises seemed to have a good rate of response from Laurent. Sometimes, feeding time also made him perk up, but nothing seemed to compare to having his favourite nurse around.

It became apparent, over a span of about three weeks that Damen’s presence alone seemed to make Laurent come to alertness. It didn’t matter what he was doing, as soon as he entered the room and announced he was there, Damen almost always saw Laurent’s brain wave change to one that was quick-moving and shallow.

Damen didn’t realise that he was having this effect on Laurent until he mentioned offhand to another nurse how Laurent had been increasingly alert over the past few weeks. The nurse who he’d been talking to had stared at him in astonishment, before revealing that Laurent’s brain wave had never so much as twitched when she’d been in the room.

‘And he’s like that every time?’ she’d asked incredulously.

‘Well yeah,’ Damen had shrugged.

‘Oh my God,’ she said, then had burst out laughing, ‘he must really like you then!’

And it had stuck. The ward collective had dubbed Damen as Laurent’s sweetheart and teased him endlessly for it.

Damen at first had been a bit annoyed by it. He wasn’t _special_ , he wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary, no more than he usually did to help his patients, and somehow they were making it seem like Laurent had taken a shine to him.

But, after thinking about it over several restless nights laid in his bed staring at the blank ceiling, he saw it for what it truly was: a privilege. If Laurent was responding to him, it meant on some level he trusted him, whether it was a conscious decision or a more instinctual one.

Damen could work with that trust, he could start to try to engage Laurent further. But he needed to know more. Without close and regularly visiting family with whom he would normally work in tandem with to find out Laurent’s likes and dislikes were, what sort of stimulus he might respond to, Damen knew he was going to have to figure it out himself.

He started researching Laurent. It wasn’t _stalking_ he told himself, it was just reconnaissance. He spent hours scrolling through news articles about the accident, using the details to work backwards to the man Laurent had been before the car crash.

There were really only photos of Aleron and Auguste in the various news articles Damen read. The most well-known out of the family they were often there in business suits in the photos. Laurent, had not been in the family business yet and so there was only one grainy looking headshot of him that really didn’t look anything like him to be helpful.

Laurent didn’t seem to have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any social media that Damen could see. He did find Auguste’s profile which was quite haunting actually. Seeing the last things he’d been posting about, almost a year ago now. Knowing that the smiling, happy man in the photos was no longer alive…..

But that was where Damen had come across some photos of Laurent. Auguste had several pictures of his brother on his Instagram page and Damen couldn’t stop himself from staring.

Laurent was beautiful.

Objectively, Damen knew it he was beautiful. He’d been struck by it on his first day as Laurent’s nurse, but it was nothing compared to Laurent a year ago.

In one photo, Laurent was wrapped up in a thick coat, scarf and hat on, hands wrapped around a steaming mug of hot chocolate with a night sky full of fireworks in the background. Laurent’s eyes were a wicked blue, full of teasing mirth and his mouth did this thing where it turned up with a smirk. His skin was fair and flushed from the cold, not pale, and his hair from where it peeked from under his hat was shiny not lank.

Damen felt like he’d been getting to know Laurent over the past two months, but his Laurent, the one asleep, was so far removed from the shy smiling Laurent alongside his brother. It was like they were two different people.

The Laurent in the hospital bed was a ghost of his former self. How could Damen think that he was possibly getting better, possibly improving? Laurent was almost too far removed from that earlier, happier version to get better. He did think briefly, bitterly, that he perhaps saw now a little of where Laurent’s uncle was coming from, by thinking that his nephew was condemned to his fate in a coma, never to wake. If Damen had known Laurent previously he also might be too hurt to see him in his current form to think he could ever get well again, to get to the point where he’d be smiling again.

But Damen didn’t like to let thoughts like that linger. He shouldn’t be so critical. Laurent _was_ improving. After two months of proper nutrition he was back to a healthier weight. His face was more rounded and less gaunt. And even after just a few weeks of physical exercises it was noticeable that he was gaining some muscle mass. Even his cheeks had colour now, pinking when Laurent was too warm under the blankets or after the physical therapy.

Whilst this was all fantastic and encouraging, it really highlighted to Damen and the nursing staff on the ward how much of a state Laurent had been in when he arrived from the Princess Royal Hospital. With the help of Ward Sister Abi, Damen had been pursuing a line of investigation at the other hospital, trying to track down who had been responsible for Laurent’s care and why he had been allowed to deteriorate so much. It was not going well. They were getting bounced around between departments, nurses, doctors, no-one seemingly willing to step up and answer their questions. It was incredibly frustrating and didn’t do anything to dissuade Damen’s suspicions that something had been going on at that hospital. Whether it was ignorant malpractice or something more sinister, he, along with a growing number of Queen Elizabeth ward staff, wanted answers.

But they were where they were for the time being and day-to-day Laurent was improving. Out of everything, it was the brainwaves that were the most promising signpost to recovery. The active, alert times when Damen was in the room and Laurent was clearly listening. Damen just desperately wanted to find something that might take Laurent the next step further, physical engagement or reactions to stimulus.

If Laurent’s family were around Damen would ask them for Laurent’s favourite music, or book or heck even an old cuddly toy that might trigger enough of a mental stimulus that Laurent could have a physical reaction to it.

But Laurent only had his uncle and Damen was reluctant to ask him, even on the off chance he thought he’d get a useful response. So instead he persevered with trying to contact Laurent’s old university friends and teachers to see if they might know anything to help.

What he quickly found was that Laurent didn’t really have any friends, and his teachers had found him bright, but standoffish and unapproachable.

‘What am I going to do Laurent?’ Damen asked one afternoon after another dead-end phone call from one of Laurent’s university acquaintances. ‘I spoke to someone today who said you were so rude to them you told them to go drown themselves in the university pond because they’d be more useful being a water ornament than a study partner.’

There was silence. Damen glanced at the laptop screen, a habitual movement now, and there was the Alpha wave, signalling Laurent was listening.

‘I mean, I find it quite hard to believe you’d say something like that, but this is the fourth person I’ve spoken to now from your class and even you must admit, it’s not looking good for you. You’re being painted as quite a villain.’

Damen grinned. He found the whole thing hilarious, it softened that fact that he wasn’t really getting anywhere with finding something that might help stimulate Laurent, but he _was_ enjoying getting to know more of Laurent’s character.

Laurent, it appeared wasn’t a sweet young man with a disposition to match his face. Oh no, it seemed Laurent DeVere was rude, blunt, precocious and had ‘the filthiest mouth I’ve ever heard from someone not a war veteran,’ according to one of his professors.

It was quite hard to mirror these accounts of Laurent with that photo of Laurent taken by his brother. It was the photo Damen always came back to, the one where he didn’t look cruel or bitchy, he just looked…happy.

 

One time Damen was on a short break at the nurse’s station, he scrolled down Auguste’s Instagram on his phone to look at the caption, ‘ _Happy Birthday Brother, remember when I used to tell you the fireworks were all for you? Haha those were the days! Here’s to many more!’_

It was so tragically heart-breaking considering Auguste would be dead just a few weeks later. And Damen always found he got a lump in his throat if he lingered on those words for too long. Hanging out on Auguste’s social media was so bittersweet, he came across as a really great guy. Just gone too soon. Damen made to scroll back up but something caught his eye.

He checked the date of the photo, 5th November 2016. It was nearly a year ago. Wait…Damen read the caption once more…the 5th November was _Laurent’s birthday?_

But that was next week. Laurent’s birthday was next week. Damen could have kicked himself. How often did he check Laurent’s wristband to check his date of birth? _Only every day._  And it hadn’t occurred to him that his patient’s birthday was rapidly approaching? He was an idiot. A complete and utter twit.

Damen looked up from his phone, and across the desk to Nikandros who was also on his break and sipping a cup of tea whilst reading his news app, ‘Nik,’ he called out, ‘ _Nik.’_

‘What?’

‘Did you know it was Laurent’s birthday next week?’

‘What? It’s November already? Christ that’s gone fast.’

‘Wait you _knew?’_

 _‘_ Wait, you _didn’t?’_

‘I only just realised,’

‘ _Damen,’ s_ aid Nikandros in an exasperated tone. He set his phone down on the desk alongside his cup of tea.

‘I know, I know, I’m an idiot,’

‘You are. How did you miss that one?’

‘I don’t know, I’ve been distracted,’ said Damen. He thought back over the past three weeks. He’d been so caught up in trying to find out all he could about Laurent. Well, at least he’d caught this detail before it was too late.

‘Are we going to do anything for his birthday?’ asked Nik.

Damen sighed heavily in response. ‘I should probably ring his Uncle and see whether he has any plans,’ he said.

‘What the twat who won’t lift his own nephew’s DNR order?’ asked Nikandros in disgust.

Damen just groaned, and rubbed his forehead. Laurent’s uncle seemed to be causing him a permanent headache these days. Between the lack of information he could give about Laurent’s medical conditions, the perpetual negative opinions about his nephew’s chances of recovery and  Damen’s growing -but still private- suspicions about Laurent’s inheritance clause, the refusal to lift the DNR order in the face of medical evidence was the poisonous cherry on the top of the whole rotten cake.

Very reluctantly, but thinking it was better to just get it over with, Damen reached over the desk and picked up the handset, looking over into Laurent’s file once or twice to make sure he had the correct number before dialling.

It rang twice before being answered.

‘Hello?’ the posh voice uttered at the end of the line, immediately setting Damen’s nerves on edge.

‘Hi Sir, it’s Damen, Laurent’s nurse from the coma ward-‘

‘Oh right, listen I really don’t have time-‘

‘I’m just calling to ask whether you were planning anything for Laurent’s birthday?’ Damen asked quickly, interrupting the Uncle before he could say anything else.

‘Oh. Right. Well, er, you see, I mean, you have to understand that I’m a very busy man, and its er, it’s not like Laurent will notice anything will he? I mean, he’s unconscious for Christ’s sake. He won’t miss anything. I’m afraid I can’t come, I’m out of the country, urgent business and it can’t wait, so no, sorry, another time perhaps-

‘But Sir-‘

‘No, look Damen, I really can’t stay any longer, you see I have a meeting. I’ve got to go.’

The line disconnected.

Damen was left staring at the phone in his hand for several long seconds.

‘You are fucking joking,’ he said flatly.

‘What did he say?’

‘He said he was too busy, he’s not in the country and Laurent is asleep so he won’t miss anything…he said… he said he wouldn’t come because he didn’t reckon Laurent would notice it was his birthday.’ Damen slammed the phone back in its cradle with far more fore than the poor piece of plastic deserved.

‘Jesus’ swore Nik, ‘If there was an award for crap family members  he’d be up there with Kastor.’

Damen winced at the allegation, but Nik was quite accurate.

‘What a scumbag,’ said Nik, ‘Well we don’t want him here anyway, we can just have all the nurses come and sing happy birthday or something. We’re practically his family anyway, it’d be a great excuse to bring more cake into the office. Hey! Do you reckon we could put a party hat on Laurent, I think he could really pull it off, what do you think?’

But Damen wasn’t listening, ‘Practically family,’ he murmured.

Then, he was scanning Laurent’s file again, looking for a detail he’d read a while ago. Nik, intrigued as to what Damen was doing manically rifling through Laurent’s file, moved closer and peered over Damen’s shoulder. He asked what he was doing but Damen ignored him, focusing on trying to find what he was looking for…..

There!

On a letter that had been included in the sparse documents Mr DeVere had given Damen when he’d visited, were his contact details, address, number and, crucially, _family details._

It was only a few lines but it was all the information Damen needed.

 _Son, Nicaise (fostered, part time resident of Sapphires Children’s Home)_ and underneath, the phone number.

Damen was dialling before he’d even thought through what to say.

‘Damen what are you-‘

But then the phone picked up at the other end and Damen silenced Nik with a finger.

‘Hi! Hello? My name is Damen, I’m a nurse on the long term intensive care ward at Queen Elizabeth hospital and I’d like to speak to someone about Nicaise Fourchette if that’s possible?’

There was static as someone breathed out a weighty sigh, ‘Oh Lord, what’s the little scamp done now?’ came a male voice down the line.

‘Er, no,’ laughed Damen nervously, ‘He’s not done anything, actually, erm, actually I’d like to invite him to a birthday party…if that’s okay with you?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Readers!
> 
> I know it's been ages since the last update but it's been a really sh*t four weeks.  
> Remember I had surgery 4 months ago? Well long story short, my wound went and got infected, so yeah... not great.  
> Anyway, I got the all clear last week from the nurse, Im now sleeping MUCH better and it's my birthday so Im feeling pretty good!
> 
> I hope you like this chapter,its the longest one yet and I feel like this moves the story along a fair bit so let me know what you think.
> 
> If you want more info on brainwave activity and let's face it why wouldnt you? [here](http://www.brainworksneurotherapy.com/what-are-brainwaves) is the site I used for reference for this chapter. As always I've taken several liberties so dont believe what I write is in anyway a hard fact. 
> 
> As I have said a few times now, I post regularly on my [tumblr](http://www.hazelwickpepperweb.tumblr.com) updates with where I am in the writing process. I've also been answering questions on there and I did share a sneaky little extract from this chapter as well :D
> 
> Next Chapter: Laurent's birthday party


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of Laurent's birthday party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Readers!  
> Before you go ahead and read this chapter, I would like you to take a moment and go see the amazing [coverart](http://just-themys-fanarts.tumblr.com/post/166430562390/commission-for-hazelwickpepperweb-for-her-fic) I commissioned for this fic which has now been completed by the amazing Just-Themys on Tumblr.  
> I will be adding it to the beginning of this fic too.
> 
> Have you done it?  
> Did you go show Just-Themys some love?
> 
> You can't read this chapter until you do...
> 
>  
> 
> Just kidding. But please go look. You get a gold star if you do.
> 
> Also, gold stars for everyone who got the sneaky reference with Nicaise's name last chapter. (Im quite pleased with myself for that one :D )

To say that Laurent was cross was an understatement. He was royally pissed off thank you very much.

He couldn’t care less about his birthday and he didn’t give a fuck about having a birthday party either. So he was another year older? So What? He'd just spent eleven months in a coma for fucks sake. Like he cared.

He was only going to spend the rest of his life like this. Trapped. Unable to protest when he could hear the nurses on the morning shift hanging up balloons and bunting. He tried to pretend he was asleep and ignored them but that didn’t work anymore. Not with that stupid screen where they could read his brain activity. He cursed the day that doctor had brought it in and Damen had stood there talking to him knowing Laurent was listening.

Why couldn’t things have just stayed as they were? Routine was nice. Routine was safe. Laurent was mostly convinced the nurses at this hospital were competent and not out to starve him or abuse him. He got his feed regularly, was turned daily, was washed and hair brushed. It was regular, it was reliable. He liked it. It made being trapped in a coma somewhat bearable.

If there was anything bearable about being in a coma.

But then they had to go and hook him up to a machine that broadcast his brainwaves for all to see. Nobody had asked Laurent how he felt about this. He’d sue for invasion of privacy, if he could only move. They all saw it as a good thing. The nurses and doctors kept trying to get him to engage like it was a competition, like they won a prize for getting him to come out of a sleeping moment into a waking moment. It was exhausting. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone?

The only one who didn’t treat it like anything special was Damen. Because Damen didn’t have to change his behaviour, Damen had talked to him from day one, had tried to engage him from the very start.

Damen, who was so damn infuriating. _He was not clever or funny or charming_.

Okay, he was marginally competent but in comparison to some of the nurses that wasn’t an achievement. He babbled constantly, often vapid, pointless conversation about the most inappropriate topics.

_Has anyone ever told you you’re a chronic oversharer? I sincerely did not want to know how you’re still struggling with feelings for your ex. I don’t want to hear about you and some bartender. And I definitely did not want to hear about the failure of you getting it on with said bartender. I think you’ve just shortened my lifespan with your tattle._

Still, Damen was probably the best out of the handful of nurses who looked after Laurent, and Nikandros was okay too. They at least treated him like a person and not like an exotic creature in a zoo. Laurent could just about put up with Damen’s chatter. It was at least better now that the nurse was more cheerful.

If there was anything worse than a chattering Damen it was a morose one. Good God, Laurent thanked his lucky stars Damen seemed to be getting his low mood out of his system. Except he was doing it by organising this stupid birthday party.

Laurent had mixed feelings about his birthday, even before his coma he’d had issues. In some ways, he’d always had the best day: Auguste had seen his birthday as something to really celebrate and go all out for, and whilst Laurent much preferred something low-key, usually his birthdays turned out to be fun because Auguste would always plan something he’d liked. However, as a pre-teen and young teenager, Laurent had dreaded his birthdays, as it was the day all the family got together, a day when his Uncle was guaranteed to be around.

Laurent resolutely did not want to relive those memories. His subsequent birthdays had always been a relief; once he was too old for his uncle’s tastes, his birthdays stopped being something he was counting down to for all the wrong, fearful reasons.

And this year, Laurent didn’t have to fear his birthday, (well not from his Uncle anyway: party hats had been threatened by more than one nurse), Damen had come and told him a while ago that his Uncle was out of the country and unable to visit.

Damen seemed to think this was something akin to a criminal offense, and had spent more than a good few minutes ranting about lousy relatives to Laurent whilst taking his blood pressure. Laurent had rather thought that Damen ought to take his own blood pressure, he’d seemed agitated. _Ah, yes, well Damen was no stranger to relations committing appalling deeds, his own brother had slept with his girlfriend after all._

And now Damen was apparently channelling all that agitated energy into planning this party. Because he felt Laurent ought to at least have some sort of celebration for it. It was so very like what Auguste did each year and Laurent was consumed with an aching rawness.

_Auguste should be here._

Yet he wasn’t. Couldn’t be.

The one thing that made Laurent’s birthday good and light and fun, had gone from the world. Leaving a shredded wound in the middle of Laurent’s very _soul_ which he didn’t think was ever going to be able to heal from.

No matter how many balloons or party poppers or cake there was.

The nurses on the morning shift came and sang Happy Birthday to him, and much as he would have liked to have sunk down into mindless oblivion he found he wasn’t able to do so. In fact, it was getting harder and harder to slink away into the welcoming blackness. It was more and more difficult to just hide in the murky depths, shutting out everyone and everything around him. He only seemed to get some reprieve from the world around him when he was exhausted enough that sleep came. Granted that was still pretty frequent, but his found safe solace of nothingness was increasingly out of reach.

He wasn’t sure what that meant. It was somewhat disconcerting, his safe space, the place where he could hide from everyone and everything -especially his Uncle and his grief over Auguste, it was no longer a viable option. He could feel a strand of anxiety run through him about what might happen next time his Uncle decided Laurent was enough of a priority to come and visit again. He might be safe for now, but not forever.

And he was not safe from the nurses it seemed. They had indeed forced a party hat on top of his head, over the EEG cap. Laurent had no doubt it make him look like an absolute twit. They were all laughing and munching on cake, gossiping about their co-workers and how they really shouldn’t be having this many calories but oh well.

Just because he was in a waking moment and could hear them didn’t mean he actually wanted to hear them.

_And here I thought Damen talked absolute gibberish. Have these nurses seriously got nothing better to do except talk about- oh wait, I spoke too soon. It seems they’ve proved me wrong, they’ve gone one better and are now gossiping about_ Damen _of all people._

Apparently Damen was very attractive according to all the nurses (regardless of gender It seemed too).

Laurent would have rolled his eyes if he could.

_Seriously? Good Lord, what did I do to deserve being here? This is akin to some form of torture surely…._

Laurent didn’t know how much more of this birthday he could take. But soon enough the nurses were filing out of the room, wishing him happy birthday and handing him over to the care of Nikandros.

‘Ladies,’ Laurent heard him greet the nurses as they left the room. His deep voice somewhat similar to Damen’s.

‘Happy Birthday Laurent,’ he said as Laurent heard him cross the room and pick up the charts from the bedside-table. The noise of the paper being turned now seeming loud in the quiet and nearly empty room. ‘Congratulations on making it to twenty-three.’ Laurent heard him tapping away at that maddening laptop- the one that showed his brain activity. ‘Nice to see you’re around to hang out with us today. Have you had fun?’

_I’d rather have my eyeballs scooped out by a spoon_ replied Laurent in his head. _Fun?_ So far this Birthday sucked and the party? It was about as far away from fun as you could get.

_Speaking of, where is the illustrious organiser?_

‘Damen is busy saying hi to your guests,’ said Nikandros, without any pre-empting.

_Guests?_

Fear thrummed through Laurent. _But, but Damen said my Uncle wasn’t going to be here? He couldn’t be bothered to come. What’s going on?_

But then the door swung open and the sound of several people entering the room.

‘Hi Laurent-‘ came the voice of Damen, but it was quickly and loudly overridden by a child’s voice singing  with gusto: ‘Remember! Remember! The fifth of November! Gunpowder, treason and PLOT!’

 

***

 

Damen was running a little late. But it was okay,  better to be late and have cake than without right? And no, he hadn’t baked. He had very little talent in the kitchen for anything that involved yeast or gluten activation or whatever Paul Hollywood talked about _on the Great British Bake Off._ Cooking, he was okay at, baking? Not so much.

So shop bought cake it was, a nice lemon drizzle, everyone liked lemon drizzle didn’t they?

Damen was overthinking things. He knew he was because he’d seen a Colin the Caterpillar cake and on the box it had said ‘Celebrate with Colin’ and then next to Colin was _Connie the Caterpillar_ who Damen had never seen before and she was in a wedding dress and wait a second, Colin was in a _suit._

Jesus Christ. Colin the Caterpillar was getting married. How can a sprinkle coated, fondant-covered, chocolate-sponge-roll cake be getting married _before_ he did? Colin had a better social life than Damen did and Damen couldn’t find it in him to be happy for Colin and his vanilla-sponge-roll bride. He just couldn’t. He bought the lemon drizzle and got in his car and drove to the hospital.

Why was his brain not working today? He was nervous and he really shouldn’t be. It was Laurent’s birthday, he was being silly. He’d probably put too much effort into organising his party. Making sure all the nurses knew and that there were balloons and everyone brought in some cake. He was massively overthinking things.

Nerves frazzled, he arrived onto the ward to find Nikandros was going through the whiteboard register, checking his patients for the day.

‘Hey! I was just starting to get worried about you,’ said Nik, not taking his eyes off the board as he jotted down some notes.

‘Yeah I had a mini-breakdown over a children’s party cake,’ admitted Damen.

Nik just looked at him.

‘Did you know Colin the Caterpillar is getting married?’

‘What the _fuck?’_

_‘_ You know, the caterpillar cake-‘

‘I know who Colin is Damen!’ Nik interrupted

‘Oh, okay well-‘ but before Damen could continue his story a small blurry figure had flung itself at him and was now gripping him tightly around the waist. ‘What the?’

‘Nicaise what have I said about personal space and boundaries?’ came a slightly exasperated voice behind Damen.

Damen looked down: Nicaise was attached to him like a limpet. Looking up, he saw a mildly haggard looking man of about medium build, with glasses and short brown hair. He was wearing a jumper over a shirt and tie.

‘But Damen invited me!’ whined Nicaise, he had tilted his head to look up at Damen and Damen had forgotten just how pretty Nicaise was: big blue eyes and brown curls and freckles. The boy was dressed in a shirt with waistcoat and bow tie and looked far too smart for just a birthday party. Damen was just wearing his uniform.

‘Still though, we don’t just go and latch onto them do we?’

Nicaise slowly and reluctantly detached himself from Damen. Damen ruffled his hair, ‘Nice to see you too kid.’

Nikandros moved past Damen, ‘I um, I’m just going to go start Laurent’s checks Damen, come in when you’re ready,’ he said in a quick low tone, before scurrying into Laurent’s room. Damen didn’t have time to be puzzled as the man who had accompanied Nicaise stepped forward extending a hand, a gift bag was in the other.

‘Hi there, I’m Jord, Nicaise’s social worker. We spoke on the phone?’

‘Nice to meet you,’ said Damen holding out his own hand. The two of them shook warmly. ‘I’m really glad both of you could come. I know it will mean a lot to Laurent.’

Jord smiled a kind smile, ‘Well I can’t say I’ve ever met him and Nicaise paints him in less than enchanting picture but it’s a good thing I take what this young man here says with a barrel of salt.’ He exchanged a look with Nicaise that seemed to speak of years of familiarity.

Nicaise just pouted a little before saying ‘When can we see the fireworks?’

‘Soon,’ promised Damen, ‘We’ll get a really good view from Laurent’s room I think. You can see all across the city.’

‘Awesome!’ cried out Nicaise and he was bouncing up and down with excitement. Jord watched him with a smile.

‘Shall we go say Happy Birthday to Laurent then?’ asked Damen, gesturing with an arm to show the way to Nicaise.

Nicaise made a little snorting sound, ‘How old is he anyway? Like a bajillion? I’m only here for the fireworks!’

Damen chuckled, he’d forgotten what Nicaise was like, and opened the door just as the boy started singing at the top of his voice, ‘Remember! Remember! The fifth of November! Gunpowder, treason and PLOT. I KNOW OF NO REASON, WHY GUNPOWDER TREASON, SHOULD EVER BE FORGOT!’

‘That’s lovely Nicaise, now shall we try to keep things to a more manageable volume?’ asked Jord with a very patient tone as he followed them into Laurent’s room.

Nikandros was staring at Nicaise like he’d never seen a child before.

_Never seen one like this_ thought Damen wryly. Nicaise hardly spared Laurent a look as he rushed over to the window on the other side of the room.

‘Laurent, we’ve got Nicaise and Jord visiting you today. Jord has  very kindly brought Nicaise. I invited them because I thought it might be nice to have some family come to visit,’ Damen said as he didn’t want Laurent to be confused as to who was in the room. Although he probably would’ve recognised Nicaise from all the yelling. ‘I’m not his family’ said Nicaise quickly, leading Jord to chastise him. Damen glanced at the brain wave monitor, the wave was shallow and quick: Laurent was alert. Goodness knows what he might be thinking.

‘I can’t see any fireworks,’ Nicaise whined.

‘They’ll be starting soon, don’t worry,’ said Damen glancing away from Laurent and the screens to see Nicaise with his hands pressed to the glass pane. Luckily the windows in the hospital didn’t have very high sills so Nicaise was able to easily look out over the view of the city at night. The sky empty for the moment.

‘Nicaise,’ called out Jord, ‘Why don’t you give Laurent his Birthday present?’

Nicaise seemed to have to tear himself away from the window to look at the three men stood behind him, ‘Do I have to?’

‘Yes you do young man. It was very nice of Damen to invite us, and it’s Laurent’s special day after all. So here you go’ and Jord brandished the gift bag at Nicaise.

Nicaise slowly moved away from the window to take the bag from Jord. He did it with the most reluctant face Damen had ever seen, like it was some extremely horrible thing he was being forced to do and he was hoping any moment any one of them might take pity on him and say that he didn’t have to give the gift to Laurent. Needless to say, neither Nikandros or Damen said anything and Jord was watching Nicaise with a firm expression, clearly borne from years of experience.

Nicaise trudged up to the side of Laurent’s bed and set the bag down just short of Laurent’s right hand. He reached inside the bag and took out two nicely wrapped presents. Then Nicaise paused.

‘But he can’t open them.’ Suddenly Nicaise’s whole demeanour changed, it seemed like he had only just come to this realisation and was now unsure of what to do. Damen watched as Nicaise properly looked at Laurent for the first time. He imagined it would be somewhat scary, seeing Laurent pale and unresponsive, tubes snaking around his arms and face and the wires and electrodes surrounding his head.

Damen moved to sit on a chair the opposite side of Laurent, he spared a glance at the perfect sleeping face and then: ‘Would you like to open them for him?’ he asked kindly. ‘But you’ll need to tell him what they are, because he can’t see.’

Nicaise perked up a little, ‘Okay,’ he said. He continued looking at Laurent for a few seconds more.

Nikandros had finished Laurent’s routine observations and had retreated to a corner of the room so he could log the data on Laurent’s file. Jord came to stand alongside Nicaise.

Damen cleared his throat, ‘So Laurent, because you can’t see what Nicaise has brought, there’s two presents and they’re wrapped very nicely, did you wrap them Nicaise?’

‘Yeah I did!’ said Nicaise proudly, ‘Look how neat the edges are!’ He held out on of the presents to show Damen the sharp edges and neat sticky tape. The paper was blue and dotted with silver spots.

‘They’re very well wrapped,’ agreed Damen.

Nicaise began to open the presents happily. Damen supposed every child found tearing into wrapping paper exciting, even if they knew what was inside.

As the paper fell away to reveal what the gifts were. Nicaise lifted them up eagerly to show Damen. ‘Look! They’re a hat and gloves!’

‘Oh look at that!’ said Damen, replying with a wide smile. It was indeed a pair of gloves and woolly hat. They were made out of a blue-grey wool and the hat had a golden bobble on the top.

‘They’re for when Laurent gets better and can go outside. They’re so he doesn’t get cold!’

‘That’s really thoughtful and kind Nicaise,’ praised Damen, ‘I think Laurent is going to really like them, and you’re right, he will need them so he doesn’t get cold.’

Nicaise beamed at Damen and it was breathtaking. He seemed so different to the precocious child at first acquaintance. In this moment he was happy and carefree. It warmed something inside Damen to see it.

And then the sound of popping and whooshing filled the room and Nicaise all but flew to the window, hat and gloves forgotten on the blanket covering Laurent. They all laughed at Nicaise’s excitement over the fireworks.

Damen picked up the hat and gloves and put them in the bedside table drawer alongside Laurent’s hairbrush. Then he stood to join Jord, Nikandros and Nicaise at the window as they watched the fireworks explode all over London.

***

Laurent felt like he was in free-fall. That sensation when you go over a rollercoaster and your stomach drops, your limbs are out of control, your brain is a mixture of incoherent signals.

He had no anchor anymore. His whole world had been pulled from under him.

_No. This isn’t happening. No this can’t be. No no no no no no no no no._

Nicaise had stopped screeching at the top of his voice and an unknown man’s voice was shushing him. It wasn’t his uncle. Where was his uncle? Was his uncle here?

_No no no no no no._

Then Damen was speaking, cutting through Laurent’s panic. ‘Laurent, we’ve got Nicaise and Jord visiting you today. Jord has  very kindly brought Nicaise. I invited them because I thought it might be nice to have some family come to visit.’

_My uncle isn’t here. My uncle isn’t here. My uncle isn’t here._

But Nicaise was.

There was only one reason Nicaise was here.

_No no no no no no no no_

_I thought I’d stopped it._

Clearly he hadn’t.

‘I’m not his family’ came the petulant voice of Nicaise.

_No you’re not. And you shouldn’t ever be._

_Oh God, no._

Laurent could fully admit he was panicking. He’d been in a coma for eleven months and he hadn’t once thought about Nicaise. This was more than just oversight. This was catastrophical error.

He’d been so wrapped up in himself. So pre-occupied with his own situation, he’d forgotten completely about the eleven year old. _Twelve probably now._ Jesus Christ. How could he be so utterly self-absorbed? He’d been lying here for nearly a year feeling sorry for himself, feeling abandoned by Auguste, when he himself had abandoned Nicaise.

_How could I do this? How could I let this happen? How could I-_

Time didn’t seem to be working. Nicaise was now at his bedside. _How had he got there?_

There was talking but Lauren’s brain wasn’t processing things. He couldn’t understand what they were saying. He could hear Damen talking; recognised the timbre of his voice, but he was unable to hone in on the words. Then Nicaise was replying, his voice sounded excited…happy. They sounded like they were underwater, or behind a pane of glass. Indistinguishable, ephermeral, separate.

_No no no no no no no. This can’t be happening. This cannot be happening. How did I let this happen?_

He was being consumed by guilt. It burned through him, his blood pumping hot and fast. He felt hot and cold all at once; his skin erupting in goosebumps.

He shivered.

There were distant bangs and crackles. The fireworks were starting. Just like they always did on his birthday. Auguste had always said they were just for him. Until he’d grown old enough to know that they weren’t really. But his brother still teased him about it every year. And they’d always watched the fireworks together.

Auguste.

Auguste wouldn’t have let this happen.

But Laurent had never told him.

And Nicaise had never told Laurent.

But he knew.

Laurent was the only one who could do something.

But all he could do was just _lie_ there.

Useless.

All he had done for the past year was just lie in bed, pathetic, whilst Nicaise had been-

Nicaise had been-

Laurent’s breathing started to quicken.

_This is not- This can’t be- I can’t let this happen._ I can’t let this happen.

He’d done it before he’d even realised what he’d done.

The light was too much and he blinked.

Everything was blurry. His pupils were trying to focus.

His breathing was audible, fast and shallow, it was too quick. One of his machines began blaring. He couldn’t see it; it was behind his head somewhere.

There was movement in the room. He could see colours moving. His eyes still strained to distinguish what was in front of him.

‘Laurent?’

Laurent blinked again. He knew that voice. It was Damen.

‘Laurent? _Oh my God.’_

Laurent wanted to look, wanted to see but his eyes were falling shut again and this time he couldn’t lift them. They were so heavy. So very heavy.

The world was black again.

_No._

_Open your eyes._

_OPEN YOUR EYES._

Godammit. He couldn’t.

Damen was there, talking quick and fast. The words rushed through Laurent’s brain before he could catch them. Before he could hold onto them to anchor him. He still felt like he was in free-fall.

But then there was a warm hand in his. Large fingers pressing into his own.

Laurent, exhausted, found some energy from somewhere and _squeezed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Readers.
> 
> If some of you were too eager to read the chapter without checking the coverart, I clearly know you too well so here is a [link](http://just-themys-fanarts.tumblr.com/post/166430562390/commission-for-hazelwickpepperweb-for-her-fic) to it!
> 
> So um yeah..... this chapter was a biggie wasnt it?  
> But is Laurent really awake? Maybe, maybe not. Either way it's exciting!
> 
> And if you think Damen's young-life crisis over Colin the Caterpillar wasn't anything that came out of my own mouth you are very much mistaken.  
> As always you can come and hang out with me on [ tumblr](http://www.hazelwickpepperweb.tumblr.com/) and ask questions about this fic, and maybe I'll give some sneaky snippets from the next chapter
> 
> Next Chapter: You'd think it would be easy to wakeup from a coma when you've already opened your eyes wouldnt you? But nothing in life is easy. Sorry Laurent!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurent meets Damen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Readers!  
> I just wanted to say thanks so much for all your amazing and lovely comments to the last update, I'm just blown away by the response to this fic and I wanted to say thanks so much for reading, commenting and kudos'ing :)
> 
>  
> 
> also, I wrote this chapter in a day, so Im really sorry if there's mistakes but I wanted to get it up today as it's my Laurent's birthday today. Many happy returns Laurent! :) x

If someone had said to Damen when Laurent was transferred to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital that he would open his eyes after 2 months, Damen would not have believed them.

It wasn’t that he’d thought Laurent would never wake up -not at all- but considering the state Laurent had been in upon arrival: malnourished, unresponsive and frankly, deteriorating... well it was something of a miracle.

And it was all Laurent’s doing, Damen was convinced. No matter how hard the other nurses congratulated Damen on doing an amazing job, he still saw it as Laurent’s achievement not his. Damen had just been doing his job. Laurent was the one who had done all the work.

Turning around from the window last week to see Laurent lying there eyes _open._ It had taken a few seconds to register at first, but Damen had seen the bright blue eyes blinking up at the ceiling, watering because of the bright lights and had felt his heart slam into his ribcage so hard it hurt.

He'd rushed over but Laurent’s eyes were already drooping, closing out the world. Damen had reached for Laurent’s hand and had felt cool fingers clench around his own in an unmistakable grip.

From there Damen and Nikandros had tried everything to coax another response from Laurent but none were forthcoming. They’d tried for several long minutes, even paging the on-call doctor to come and have a look at Laurent but nothing. He was back to being unresponsive again.

The doctor started asking Damen questions about Laurent which he answered as best he could; trying to determine whether or not there had been a trigger and what it could have been. Nikandros stood by the laptop watching Laurent’s brainwaves and recording the spike in activity of Alpha waves.

All meanwhile Jord had been hovering asking if there was anything he could do and Nicaise had been whining about missing the fireworks.

Soon they’d all come to the conclusion that Laurent had tired himself out from the effort to open his eyes and to move. The brainwaves on the laptop steadily slowed and shallowed to show Laurent had gone into a dreaming state.

‘Well that was exciting,’ said Jord brightly as they all left the room. Agreeing that it was best to let Laurent sleep and recover his energy. Nikandros had gone off with the doctor to help arrange for further scans and tests. ‘I told Nicaise it would cheer Laurent up for him to come and visit, maybe Laurent wanted to say hi.’

‘It’s a thought,’ considered Damen as they all walked along the corridor. He turned to look at Nicaise, ‘Hey Nicaise?’

The boy looked up from where he’d been on his phone, a flashy new model.

‘What?’

‘When was the last time you visited Laurent?’ asked Damen, ‘When did you see him in the Princess Royal- the other hospital.’

Nicaise gave him a blank look, ‘I didn’t.’

‘Sorry?’

‘I didn’t see Laurent in hospital,’ repeated Nicaise, ‘Richard wouldn’t let me see him. The last time I saw Laurent was last year at a stupid party Richard had. He tried to come and talk to me, he was so annoying.’

Jord looked at Nicaise incredulously, ‘Richard never once brought you to see Laurent?’

‘No!’ snapped Nicaise, clearly fed up now.

Jord and Damen exchanged a look. Damen gestured for them to follow him into the kitchenette on the ward as he offered Jord and Nicaise cups of tea.

‘It could be something,’ mused Damen as he filled up the kettle. ‘Nicaise,’ he said cautiously, aware that Nicaise was on the brink of becoming snippy and uncooperative. ‘Were you and Laurent ever close? We’re you friends?’

‘I told you,’ came a very annoyed response from behind him where Nicaise was leaning against the worktop, ‘I don’t like him. Not really. And he doesn’t like me. He was always really cross when he saw me. Then he kept bugging me, trying to talk to me, trying to be my friend. It was all fake! He never liked me!’

Jord settled himself against the opposite counter facing Nicaise after his outburst.

‘Nicaise,’ he said patiently and calmly, ‘We’ve talked about interpreting body signals before haven’t we? Did Laurent ever actually tell you he didn’t like you? How do you know he wasn’t just trying to be your friend? He could have been cross at something else, it doesn’t mean he was cross at you.’

Nicaise’s face screwed up, he looked like he was just about to start yelling but Jord carefully reached out and patted his shoulder. The energy seemed to slump out of Nicaise.

‘There was-‘ he started hesitantly, looking off to the side, avoiding Jord and Damen’s gazes. ‘there was one time,’

‘Yeah?’ asked Jord encouragingly.

‘I was staying at Auguste’s house. He was really nice by the way, he always used to let me eat loads of ice-cream.’

‘Did he?’ grinned Jord.

‘Yeah,’ replied Nicaise with a small smile. Then he carried on, ‘I stayed there this one night and Laurent came over and… yeah….he wasn’t so bad.’

‘He wasn’t so bad,’ repeated Jord with a raised eyebrow above the frames of his glasses.

‘He was nice alright!’ said Nicaise a little grumpily this time.

‘Okay,’ laughed Jord ruffling Nicaise’s hair which made him scowl and run hands through the waves and curls trying to sort it out.

Jord looked around and accepted a cup of tea from Damen.

‘Well? You think that might explain tonight?’

‘Maybe,’ said Damen. ‘It could be several other things, we’ll have to see what the doctors say. But I think Nicaise should perhaps visit more regularly if he can, it can’t hurt. It’s good for Laurent to have visitors’

Jord nodded. ‘I’m sure Richard would be happy to bring Nicaise a couple of times when he’s back. Nicaise should hopefully be with him full time in a couple of weeks, once Richard’s overseas business has been finished.’

‘Richard won’t bring me,’ said Nicaise from where he’d gone back to playing on his phone. ‘He hates visiting Laurent.’

‘Nicaise I think you’re exaggerating again,’ said Jord, ‘It must be really hard for him to come and see Laurent. He’s his nephew and some of his only family left.’

‘But _I’m_ his family now!’ cried Nicaise all of a sudden. ‘Richard’s got _me!_ He doesn’t _need_ Laurent anymore! Why aren’t I good enough?!’

There was an awful silence.

Then Nicaise stormed out of the kitchenette, the door slamming behind him.

‘Shit,’ swore Jord quietly, ‘Sorry Damen, I’d best go, Nicaise is….well it’s difficult when he gets like this. Thanks for the tea. Hopefully see you again, all the best for Laurent.’ And then the social worker was gone too, after Nicaise.

That had happened a week ago.

Damen had since had a phone call from Jord saying that Nicaise had flat out refused to go back to the hospital to visit Laurent. Jord had apologised several times but Damen got it. Or, rather he got that he wouldn’t ever be able to understand all that Nicaise was going through. Being in a children’s home, in the foster system and struggling to navigate life whilst feeling like he was second best after Laurent?

They would just have to make do without visits from family. Because Damen was trying to oppose Laurent’s uncle being brought in until he absolutely had to.

Laurent was, incredibly, making progress. It was slow, it wasn’t going to be all better in a day, but the improvement was enough to be measurable.

He’d had an MRI scan yesterday and there was quite a bit of excitement around his general brain activity. Professor Ayub had come down for a visit and had managed to coax Laurent into opening his eyes. Because, yes, that was now a thing which he could do.

It was the highlight of Damen’s day, going into Laurent’s room, pulling the curtains open and greeting Laurent, to then be met with brilliant blue eyes staring at him.

They didn’t have a way to communicate yet, but Damen was working on that. For now, it was enough that Laurent was engaging and responding to stimulus. The doctors had done several tests, one being which was pricking his finger and taking a drop of blood. Laurent’s eyelids had flown open and he’d positively glared at Nikandros, who’d had the decency to look guilty as the doctors all scribbled their notes down eagerly.

Damen couldn’t find the words to express how happy it made him to see Laurent reacting and responding. It was like the cloud which had hung over him since the break-up with Jokaste had started to finally shift. He still had days where it got him down, and it probably would for some time still, but he felt like it was becoming easier to breathe. There was something so good in his life right now, something exciting and something which gave him a purpose.

Damen had finally found the energy to ring his mum the other day. He’d been putting it off because he knew it meant dredging up everything again. But it had been cathartic, speaking to her. They didn’t speak about Kastor, she hardly even mentioned Jokaste. All his mum had wanted to know was how he, Damen, was getting on. And, he was able to speak truth when he said ‘I’m doing okay Mum.’ He told her about Laurent about the progress he was making and how excited Damen was for Laurent’s continued improvement.

And that’s when it had occurred to him, ‘Mum, what was it like, adopting Kastor?’

The words had come out of his mouth before he’d even had chance to think them through.

‘I- honey I’m not sure what you’re asking?’ she’d replied kindly but confused.

‘I’m just…so there’s this kid, Nicaise. And Laurent’s Uncle is fostering him, I think he’s planning on adopting him. But Nicaise, I think he’s struggling with the situation with Laurent. Because of course Laurent’s not his actual cousin and there’s a big age difference and stuff. I’m wondering if he feels threatened by Laurent or something. Like Richard prefers Laurent over Nicaise, and I just wondered how you dealt with adopting Kastor  when you already had me and stuff.’

‘Hmmmm’ Damen’s mum had thought for a while on the phone. ‘It’s hard. It’s very hard, I think children often don’t understand that as an adult you can love lots of different people for lots of different reasons and it doesn’t mean you love any of them any more, it just means you love them differently. I know Kastor found it really hard coming to live with us. You were only just a baby. But I never once didn’t consider it. It wasn’t hard for me, to find the love to love another child. But I do think Kastor struggled. I wasn’t his mum. His mum had died and I could never replace her. I never set out to do that.’

She paused, ‘I sat down with him and we had a talk. He didn’t want to, I could tell. He was right at that age where he wanted to start being taken seriously like a grown-up, but he still wanted to be treated like a child too. But I talked and he listened and then he talked and _I_ listened. I think that was the important bit. So many people don’t listen to children. So then children start to think that no-body will ever listen.’

It had given Damen a lot to think on and he’d mulled over what his mum had said for a few days before taking out his phone and sending Jord a message to pass onto Nicaise.

Shutting his phone away back in his locker Damen made his way up onto the ward and started filling in the whiteboard register of patients. He was due to get another patient, a 40 year-old man who had been in a car crash and put in a medically induced coma. They were planning on transferring Mr Jones from the intensive care unit tomorrow so he would need to start on preparing one of the ward rooms for him.

He started his round of patients, beginning with Molly as usual. She was doing well enough that they were letting her eat small morsels of food now. She grinned at him as he entered the room, bits of cereal stuck between her teeth.

He wondered when Laurent would be well enough to eat. Would be well enough to talk, to walk. When he would be well enough to walk out of the hospital and go home.

He felt a pang of sadness. Laurent had lost nearly everything, did he even have a home to go back to?

Damen didn’t know.

He pushed thoughts of Laurent leaving the hospital on his own, a forlorn lonely figure from his mind and finished his checks with Molly and his other two patients before walking to Laurent’s room. He needed to focus, his mind had been distracted all morning; first with Nicaise and then with Laurent.

Damen huffed. He found himself always somewhat distracted by Laurent.

He paused at the door before going in. He was going to help get Laurent to the point where he could go home and they’d just take things from there. They’d cross that bridge when it came to it.

He opened the door and said brightly, ‘Good morning Laurent!’

 

*~*

Laurent felt restless.

It was like an itch, running under his skin. He longed to just throw back the covers and march out into the corridor and yell at them all for being complete and oblivious idiots.

But he couldn’t.

All he could do was blink.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

Like an insect. He felt like a bug with all the tests and scans they kept putting him through. Trapped and observed. Stuck in a tank to be gawped at.

_How can they all be this stupid?_

Couldn’t they see he was trying so hard to tell them something?

He hadn’t seen Nicaise since his birthday. Every time he managed to open his eyes he hoped so badly to see the brown curly hair and the wicked blue eyes. But every time he was disappointed.

_Is he okay? Where is he now? Is he back with my uncle? Why won’t anyone tell me?!_

It made him feel useless and helpless.

How long had Laurent wished he could move? How long had he lain there having given up on ever waking up and now he was able to open his eyes and twitch his fingers and suddenly it wasn’t good enough.

He should be grateful for being able to do something, _but it’s not enough._

It wasn’t enough. He needed to tell them all that his uncle needed to be stopped.

But all he could do was blink.

Blink. Blink. Blinketty fucking blink.

He was so frustrated he started to clench his hand in a fist without realising it. He kept doing things like that. Doing them without thinking. It was how he’d opened his eyes in the first place, he’d just done it.

If he’d known that was the secret he’d have woken up and strangled Damen a lot sooner than two months down the line. It would have stopped the annoying chatter.

Mind you, he was about the only thing making all of this bearable at the moment. Test after test. Scan after scan. Laurent had lost track of all the things the doctors had done and said. But Damen had been there each time, accompanying him down to the MRI suite, talking through the headphones into his ears as the machine had started making really odd and loud noises. He’d been there whilst nurse after nurse had come and taken his blood, he’d been there whilst the doctors had poked and prodded him and talked about his treatment plans as if Laurent wasn’t there and couldn’t hear them.

And finally, _finally,_ Laurent had caught a glimpse of Damen.

Damen was currently sat at the side of the bed, taking Laurent’s observations and finishing up with doing his pulse by hand as how now become custom.

And Laurent, curious, had unthinkingly opened his eyes and for once his head had been propped at just the right angle which allowed him to gaze at Damen for almost a minute before the nurse had noticed him.

He wasn’t how Laurent had imagined.

It was like when you hear someone on the radio and your mind creates an image of them which is then contradicted so strongly when you actually see them in person.

Damen had dark skin and brown wavy hair. His nose was large and defined his face. He wore a light-blue nurse’s shirt which stretched tight across his broad shoulders because Damen was big. Like _huge._ Laurent had known Damen was strong; he hardly needed any help to turn Laurent in bed or to manoeuvre Laurent when he was making the bed or washing or dressing him. But to actually see him in person? There was no substitute.

Laurent’s eyes traced from Damen’s curls, around his ears, along his nose and jaw, down his neck, across his shoulders, following the bend in his arm before coming to stare at Damen’s fingers pressed to Laurent’s wrist, taking his pulse.

Laurent had felt those hands. Those warm, soft, gentle hands. It was so strange to now _see_ those hands, cradling his own, thin bony wrists as he measured the beating of his blood round his body. Laurent almost didn’t recognise his own hands. They were impossibly pale, almost translucent; the blue veins visible under the skin. They contrasted sharply to the warm brown of Damen’s skin.

He kept noticing all these little details now he could see. His own nails were long, they needed trimming. Damen’s arms were covered with a dusting of dark hairs. The blanket covering him was yellow knitted wool, it was pooling at the side under his hand. _Were the blankets always this colour?_ There was a small stain on Damen’s nurse’s uniform. _What from?_ Damen had a pink fob watch attached to his shirt pocket with which he was using to measure Laurent’s pulse against. _Why pink?_

There were so many questions. He longed to know the answers.

Damen caught him staring. He’d finished taking Laurent’s pulse and had looked up from his timekeeping to meet Laurent’s gaze.

Laurent then saw first-hand how Damen’s face transformed into a broad smile. His eyes crinkled at the edges, his white teeth gleamed, he simply radiated ‘happy’.

‘Hey there Laurent,’ he said in his familiar deep voice.

_This is weird._

It was so odd hearing Damen’s voice but now attached to a body, rather than a floating voice in the dark.

Laurent did what he could and blinked.

‘It’s nice to see you awake,’ said Damen.

Laurent blinked again.

‘You feeling okay?’

Laurent…. _surprise, surprise_ blinked again.

Damen grinned. ‘Bet it’s annoying being able to open your eyes and not be able to talk yet huh?’

Laurent rolled his eyes.

Damen’s expression froze.

‘Oh that’s a new one,’ he said.

Laurent narrowed his eyes. It wasn’t quite a frown but it was getting there. Both of those movements he’d done unthinkingly.

‘Hey Laurent,’ said Damen, ‘Just quickly whilst I’ve got your attention. You can get annoyed with me in a sec… I just need to know, are you in any pain? It’s really important. Can you squeeze my hand to say you’re in pain? The harder the squeeze the more severe it is okay? I know it’s not scientific, but it’s important.’

Laurent withheld the urge to roll his eyes again and gave the question some serious thought.

_Apart from the painful fact of life that I am stuck in a coma and you are my nurse…..no I am not in any pain._

_Oh wait._

He did have that headache. That permanent headache which always seemed to be lingering in the background that over 11 months Laurent had just got used to ignoring and living with.

_Oooh if something could be done about that, that would be great. Thanks._

He squeezed Damen’s hand a little bit.

He did have a headache, but it wasn’t _that_ bad. It wasn’t anything like when he’d first been in hospital.

Damen frowned a little when Laurent squeezed his hand but said ‘That’s fantastic Laurent thank you so much for telling me. I’ll go and speak to the doctor about increasing your pain relief for you. Now, I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you this button here okay?’

And the nurse unhooked something off the wall and slid a remote with an orange button into Laurent’s right hand.

‘Press this, if you need me or any of the nurses okay?’ said Damen. ‘I’ll be back in a few minutes with your pain relief.’

Damen left the room and Laurent found himself lying there, button in hand.

He looked across to his right, as much as his eyes could without being able to move his head. The sun was coming in through the window, he could see blue sky outside. It looked like the colour of freedom, after being so long in the dark. Laurent liked to look at the sky, and tried to always catch a glimpse of it when he opened his eyes. He found himself content to watch the clouds skittering overhead causing the light levels to fluctuate in the room as the clouds dodged and danced in front of the sun.

Damen returned with the medication after a few minutes and injected it straight into Laurent’s IV line.

‘There,’ he said once he’d discarded the needle, ‘That should kick in very soon. Hey how about you give me another one of those eyes rolls? That was quite fun.’

Laurent scrunched his eyes up to show his displeasure.

Damen laughed. ‘Okay okay! Less of that then.’

Damen sat down in the chair next to Laurent and leaned in a little bit closer. From this distance Laurent realised he could see the different shades of brown in Damen’s eyes. He wanted to turn away but he couldn’t. His only options were to continue staring or close his eyes.

He closed his eyes.

He heard Damen sigh. It sounded sad.

So Laurent opened his eyes again.

Damen hadn’t moved, he was still there, only now beaming at him. Laurent stared. It was odd, but nice. It was nice, having the ability to make someone smile like that. The only person who’d ever smiled at him like that had been Auguste.

_Auguste._

Laurent felt as if something broke inside him. A wave of sadness rose up within him. He screwed his eyes up again.

_I’m never going to see Auguste again._

His whole body trembled.

_I’m never going to see him smile._

_I’m never going to see him laugh._

_I’m never….never…_

‘Laurent? Oh hey Laurent, it’s okay, it’s okay,’

Laurent tasted something salty in his mouth. He realised he was crying.

Tears were leaking silently from his eyes and he felt a hand rub up and down his arm as Damen spoke calming words to him.

‘Laurent it’s okay, I know it’s tough, I know it’s horrible. But it will get better I promise. And we’re all here for you. It’s small steps, yeah? And we’ll be here each step of the way.’

But Laurent just kept crying. He forced his eyes open and saw Damen looking at him so concerned.

 One thought only was held in his mind.

_Auguste._

‘And you’ll be able to talk soon. You’ll be able to tell us what’s wrong, what you’re feeling. I know it’s horrible right now. But it will get better, I promise, _I promise.’_

Laurent gazed at Damen, an earnest, sincere, _genuine_ look on his face and it _hurt,_ it hurt so fucking much. His feelings for Auguste were rising up, they were too much, they were too raw. He’d always been able to sink into oblivion before but that wasn’t an option now and he felt on the edge of a precipice and he couldn’t, he just couldn’t let the feelings push him over the edge. And his goddamn eyes just kept on _leaking._

And then he felt himself being scooped up and held against Damen and it wasn’t comfortable, his wires were getting tangled but it was what he needed.

And maybe it was the pain relief kicking in, maybe it was the sheer exhaustion of expending so much energy that day, but he found himself being soothed. It took a while and he must have made Damen’s shirt all damp, but he felt safe, he felt protected from the thoughts and feelings threatening to overwhelm him. He felt himself being pulled back from the cliff-edge, felt himself settling. It was long minutes, Damen was alternating between rubbing circles on his back and trailing soft fingers through his hair.

Laurent didn’t know when it was that he fell asleep. But at some point he must have, and it was so welcome. He didn’t know if he wanted to be awake if it was going to be this painful. But he wasn’t haunted by any dreams that night, he had his temporary oblivion and it was beautiful, it was peaceful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Readers!
> 
> How are we on chapter 11? that's like over third of the way through the whole planned fic now! Crazy!  
> I also wanted to say that I really want to write the scene where Damen talks Laurent through an MRI scan and I might write it as a bonus scene and post on tumblr perhaps. But I havent done it yet because incidently I have an MRI scan next Monday so I was gonna see how that goes first....Ive had both good and not so good ones in the past.
> 
> Anyway, I hope this chapter reads well, I know its a bit of a filler chapter which I dont like, but I felt like we needed a breather after the last chapter. Im gonna go add hurt/comfort as a tag now as I feel we have now reached that stage yay!
> 
> next chapter: Damen comes up with a creative way to communicate with Laurent.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Nikandros!  
> And  
> Laurent gets to commmunicate for the first time in eleven months.

Thursday found Damen in a pub near where he lived, it was dark but warm, small but friendly and not too expensive despite it being London. Damen had just come off from a twelve-hour shift and was ready for a wind down with his mates. Joining him were Nikandros who hadn’t been on shift today, Lazar – a fellow nurse but from the gastroenterology ward and his boyfriend Pallas- a technician from x-ray and MRI.

It wasn’t often that the four of them got to hang out, despite all working at the hospital. Snatched conversations were the norm. So Damen cherished the times where they could meet without the various patient interruptions they frequently had to deal with.

At least he normally did; it depended on who was going to have to bear the brunt of the teasing that evening...

‘So, Damen, tell us. Who’s this guy that’s got Nik all in a tizz?’

‘What?’ asked a nonplussed Damen whilst Nikandros who had just taken a mouthful of beer spat out half of it onto the table and half of it down himself.

The guys sat around the table in the pub all roared with laughter as Nik spluttered and tried to dab at himself with a handful of napkins.

‘Thanks you sodding lot’ growled Nik as the napkins did very little to soak up the beer splashed down his top. ‘Damen ignore them, Lazar is being a fucking twat.’

‘Oh no,’ grinned Damen, taking a swig of his own beer bottle, ‘Who is this mystery man then?’

‘You mean you don’t know?!’ asked Lazar incredulously. ‘Nik said he met him at the hospital. Seeing as you two are joined at the hip I assumed you knew.’

‘No!’ said Damen, he looked at Nikandros sat next to him at the pub table in mock outrage. ‘No I know nothing! Who is he? Which ward? Which department?’

‘There’s a fit agency nurse who sometimes works nights on the haematology ward,’ said Lazar musingly. Damen wished he didn’t know that Lazar memorised and categorised every attractive male member of staff in the hospital.

Nikandros just scowled in response.

‘Is he a doctor?’ asked Pallas, sat opposite Damen and next to Lazar.

Damen gasped dramatically, ‘ _He’s a doctor?!’_

‘Oh my god he’s a doctor,’ said Lazar grabbing Pallas by the arm and then deciding to dramatically faint into his boyfriend's lap.

‘No!’ squawked Nik rather loudly, causing a few of the other pub patrons to look their way. Nik blushed, ‘He’s not a doctor’ he hissed at Damen and his friends. ‘He doesn’t work at the hospital.’

‘Oooh the mystery deepens,’ said Lazar, still lounging on Pallas' lap, the other man now stroking fingers through Lazar’s hair.

Damen acted as though he were betrayed, knowing how it would wind up his best friend, ‘I don’t know how I didn’t know,’ he said. ‘Nik, I thought we told each other everything.’

‘Oh for the love of- It’s not like – it’s just…..’ Nik seemed to be struggling to find the words.

‘Blimey you must really like him,’ said Lazar sitting upright, much to Pallas’ evident disappointment.

‘It’s not even that,’ said Nik rather morosely now, ‘I’ll probably never see him again,’

‘Who is it?’ asked Damen, wracking his brain to think of who Nik could have met at the hospital who didn’t even work there,  _wait…_ ‘Was he a visitor?’

‘It was that guy, Jord alright!’ cried Nik, his face quite anguished.

‘Jord?!’ exclaimed Damen. _Well this was unexpected._ But then again, it explained a few things….

‘We have a name!’ crowed Lazar, ‘Babe get on the old facebook, track him down-‘

Pallas had pulled out his phone and Damen could see he was typing in J-O-R-D into the searchbar.

‘No don’t!’ squeaked Nikandros, leaning over the table and swiping the phone from Pallas.

‘Hey!’ cried out Lazar and Pallas both protesting.

‘He’s not- I don’t want you to look alright?’ snapped Nik. ‘You’ll only do something stupid like message him and-‘

But before the two friends sitting opposite could voice their opposition, Damen stepped in and took the phone back off Nikandros and handed it back to Pallas.

‘Guys calm down,’ he said. ‘Nik stop getting all worked up, Jord’s probably not even got a public account or anything seeing as he’s a social worker and everything. And you two,’ he said eyeing up Lazar and Pallas, ‘Leave the poor guy alone. He’s only met Jord once and now he’s smitten, imagine what meeting him again would do to him,’

Pallas and Lazar broke out into wide grins. Nik just moaned, ‘Damen you’re supposed to be on my side!’

‘Am I?’ questioned Damen innocently, ‘Now what was it that drew your attention? Was it the jumper or the glasses?’

The looks on Pallas and Lazar’s faces were priceless. ‘GLASSES?!’

 

It was sometime later, when they were several drinks in and the pub had thinned out a little as people moved onto the clubs and bars rather than stay in the typical English pub with its soft seated booths and dark wooden furniture, that the topic of conversation came around to Laurent.

Damen knew it was inevitable. He'd tried his best to keep the conversation as far away from him as possible but he'd known sooner or later that Laurent’s name would be mentioned.

‘How is the sleeping beauty?’ asked Nik.

‘Oh yes, how is he?’ Pallas asked eagerly. ‘He looked so poorly when he came down for his MRI the other week. I hope he’s doing better.’

Damen wasn’t sure how to answer. Laurent _was_ doing better but it was a daily struggle. He had good days and bad days. Some days he was able to open his eyes for a significant length of time and the nurses and doctors were able to assess him but other days Laurent barely roused at all.

Laurent had had assessment after assessment, test after test to try and discover the extent of his brain injury and his results were...volatile.

On one level Laurent’s brain seemed to be working perfectly and it was clear he was very intelligent: as evidenced by being able to understand what was being said to him, but in other ways his brain didn’t seem to be sending the right signals. Laurent was having extreme difficulty talking and moving and his frustration at not being able to do much showed.

He became emotional, anger quick to the surface as he lashed out, hands and arms not under any sort of control. And his voice, often he just made inarticulate, distressed noises when he wasn’t able to hold something or say something. Then the tears came and it broke Damen’s heart to see Laurent so distraught as he struggled with the most basic of movements or sounds.

‘He...’ started Damen, ‘He’s doing really well actually but he can’t see it himself and so then he just gets frustrated and then he seems to lose control of everything  which just makes things worse.’

‘Is he talking?’ asked Pallas.

Damen shook his head, ‘No he can’t seem to form any sort of words so far but he’s doing so well! He just needs to be kinder to himself.’

‘Hmmm is he getting any speech and language therapy?’ asked Pallas.

‘Yeah,’ affirmed Damen, ‘But they’re so busy the soonest they can see him is next Wednesday.’

Pallas smiled brightly, ‘Have you thought about teaching him some basic sign language yourself?’

Damen paused, that was not a half-bad idea, ‘I hadn’t thought about that,’ he admitted. ‘It’s been so long since I did that module of BSL at uni that I’m sure I’ve forgotten it all.’

‘Pallas can teach you!’ Lazar interjected, ‘You sign with your mum don’t you babe?’

 

‘I do,’ agreed Pallas, ‘her hearing has just got worse over the years so it’s just easier to sign now.’

‘Hmmm,’ thought Damen, ‘Do you reckon you could come in tomorrow morning and teach us both? I mean, if Laurent’s asleep you can just teach me, but it might be good for us both to learn.’

Pallas nodded eagerly, ‘Of course I can!’ he said. ‘Anything I can do to help.’

‘Anything to further Damen’s obsession with him,’ grumbled Nik. ‘Damen can’t you let someone else do it?  You’re already doing too much for the guy.’

‘Nah,’ said Damen, brushing off Nik’s accusation, ‘It’s nothing I wouldn’t do for any of my other patients.’

‘None of your other patients are blonde,’ pointed out Nik.

‘Oh ho!’ cried Lazar. ‘I didn’t know Laurent was _blonde.’_

‘That has got nothing to do with any of this,’ growled Damen.

‘He is very beautiful,’ chipped in Pallas unhelpfully.

‘Guys come on, you can’t think I’m like that,’ said Damen. His desire to help Laurent came from a place of wanting to do the right thing for the guy, especially given his awful position. Damen had a duty of care (something they all should have) for his patients. ‘I’m just trying to do my job. Whether Laurent is blonde or not has nothing to do with how much I want to help him.’

Lazar laughed, ‘Damen, come on! We know you’re like the most professional person ever. But can’t we tease you a little?’

‘If you tease me, I’m gonna tease you back about how long it took you to pluck up the courage to ask Pallas out for serious,’ said Damen.

Nik guffawed and even Pallas laughed as Lazar turned pink. ‘That was, that’s not-‘

Pallas, ever the dutiful boyfriend came to Lazar’s rescue, ‘Honey, it’s okay, I don’t mind that it took you forever to realise you wanted things to be more than just sex between us.’

Nik chuckled, ‘Well that’s a backhanded compliment if ever I heard one,’

‘One word Nik,’ retorted Lazar, ‘ _glasses.’_

And it was enough to set them all off again, and Laurent’s name wasn’t mentioned again that night.

 

***

The next morning Laurent woke up very slowly. He could hear someone entering the room and opening the curtains and he screwed his eyes up as the winter morning light flooded the room. He felt so groggy. _Ugh._

‘Grrmmmmmmm’ he managed to voice his dissatisfaction.

‘Oh dear,’ said a voice belonging to Nikandros. ‘Looks like someone’s not feeling it this morning. Hard night partying Laurent? Hit the wine? Me and you both mate.’

Laurent blinked his eyes open. Nikandros was moving around the room completing his morning observations. It was a minute or so before the world stopped being blurry and Laurent could focus.

Nikandros looked a little worse for wear this morning. He was moving gingerly and had dark circles under his eyes.

 _Should you even be here?_ Laurent wanted to ask, but he couldn’t quite managed to open his mouth.

‘Oh, looks like you were dancing around in the middle of the night,’ said Nikandros, leaning in and re-hooking Laurent’s oxygen tube over his ears and settling the little pipes under his nostrils. He sighed: ‘Damen’s gonna have to sort your hair out again, it’s all tangled.’

Laurent rolled his eyes.

The nurse nodded, ‘I know, but I think Damen quite likes the long hair, he had hair longer than yours when I first met him. He didn’t quite pull it off as well as you though. I’ll give you this Laurent, you look better fresh out of a coma with long hair than Damen ever did.’

‘Is Nik talking shit about me again?’ asked Damen, who had just walked through the door. Laurent was glad he appeared, he didn’t need images of Damen with long hair in his mind. Not at all. He was better the way he looked now…. Well….Not that he looked _better_ per-say it was just that his hair looked good short. And it wasn’t even that Damen looked good. That wasn’t it. No, it was just-

Thank god Nikandros started talking-‘Not at all mate, Laurent can back me up can’t you?’ Nik winked at Laurent. Laurent just scowled back.

‘Good morning Laurent!’ said Damen cheerfully. _When was he ever not cheerful?_ ‘How are you today?’

Laurent managed a shrug.

‘That’s it Laurent, don’t let his infectious charm win you over,’ said Nikandros as he stuck the thermometer in Laurent’s ear.

‘Just cos _someone_ had a little too much last night-‘

‘Don’t talk to me, you’re only going to make fun,’

‘But Nik, it’s just too easy,’ said Damen, ‘Can I tell Laurent?’

‘Tell him what?’ asked Nik, steadfastly not looking at Damen as he recorded Laurent’s temperature, and moved on to checking his drip.

‘Tell him about J-‘

‘Not if you want to stay friends,’ said Nik cutting him off, ‘And especially not if you want me to give you any more lifts to work.’

‘He’s got a crush on Jord,’ said Damen to Laurent, gleefully disregarding Nikandros’ threats. He smiled widely.

Laurent raised his eyebrows. _Now that was interesting._

‘Oh for crying out loud!’ complained Nik, turning to Damen angrily, ‘What did you do that for?’

 _Well it’s not like I’m able to tell anyone,_ thought Laurent bitterly. His eyes flicked between the two of them. _I’m a safe bet for a secret aren’t I Damen? Yes, yes, tell all your secrets to me. I’m stuck unable to say a word-_

 But his thoughts were cut off by Damen speaking.

‘ _Because_ you numpty. Laurent can tell us all about Jord and how to get him to notice you.’

_Wait-what? Well….that was…..unexpected._

_But in case you’ve forgotten Damen, I can’t speak. I’m hardly going to be able to tell you anything._

It was surprising because Damen clearly had a lot more faith in Laurent than he did in himself.

But hadn’t this always been the case? Damen had always said ‘when’ he would wake up, not ‘if’. Damen had never given Laurent the option of failing. He’d always believed that Laurent would wake up, would improve, would get better and one day walk out of this place. Why should this be any different?

_Because now I’m actually trying._

It was the most frustrating thing in the world. Laurent had the words, had them in his mind, had them on the tip of his tongue. Yet could not work the muscles to actually deliver them.

He’d managed some things. Some odd sounds which could pass for communication, but nothing formal. Nothing precise.

He’d almost forgotten what his voice sounded like.

He could do things without thinking. He could gesture and make noises unthinkingly. It was when he actually _tried_ that he just Could. Not. Do. It.

After months, _almost a year_ of being in a coma, waiting, wishing to die, not bothering to try anything. It was beyond frustrating that now, when he was actually trying to accomplish something he couldn’t do it.

Well, he’d tried quite hard to die during his coma and failed at that so maybe there was a theme here.

‘So what do you say Laurent? Gonna help out a friend here?’ asked Damen.

‘No’ replied Laurent unthinkingly.

_Wait, hang on, did I just…?_

_‘_ Awww what?! Come on Laurent! You’ve no idea how useless Nik is, he needs all the help he can get.’

‘Oi,’ protested Nikandros, almost cutting off Laurent’s blood supply as he attached the blood pressure cuff.

_Did I just- speak?_

‘Please Laurent,’ said Damen. He was standing at the foot of Laurent’s bed, giving him the most pleading of looks, his hands actually clasped before him. It looked so pitiful.

‘Pleeeeeeease?’

Laurent rolled his eyes and took a deep breath, ‘Fine,’ he managed to huff. His voice sounded scratchy and weak.

‘Yes!’ exclaimed Damen in delight and Laurent actually saw the guy do a fistbump. _Dear Lord._

‘Jesus Damen,’ swore Nikandros. Laurent managed to shift his head slightly to look at the nurse off to his right. ‘Don’t let him put ideas into your head Laurent. I’m perfectly capable of handling my own love life thank you. Damen’s like a puppy, give him and inch and he’ll take a mile.’

‘Laurent, you haven’t seen Nik try to flirt,’ said Damen, leaning on the end of Laurent’s bed, ‘It ranges from awkward to cringeworthy with nothing in between.’

‘Oh and you’re any better?’ countered Nik.

‘You know perfectly well I’m the best flirt out of any of us,’ said Damen with such confidence Laurent didn’t doubt he believed himself.

‘Lazar-‘

‘Lazar _used_ to be good, I’ll give you that. But now he’s got Pallas he doesn’t even have to try. He’s well out of practice.’

Nik huffed, ‘Pallas is so sweet, he’d melt under any heat directed his way,’

Laurent coughed. Slightly on purpose. It had the desired effect and the banter between the nurses broke off.

‘You okay Laurent?’ asked Damen, concerned. He reached over and picked up a cup of water and a sponge on a stick and, after wetting it, held it to Laurent’s mouth so he could suck the moisture off it and wet his dry mouth. Laurent had got over the indignity of sucking a sponge  a few days ago when he thought he might start spitting sand his mouth was that dry.

As Laurent finished and stuck out a tongue to wet his lips there was a knock at the door. A dark face with even darker hair popped around the corner.

‘Hello?’

‘Pallas!’ Damen cried and got up from where he’d been sat at the side of Laurent’s bed to shake Pallas’ hand and bring him into the room. Laurent watched him with inquisitive eyes. He didn’t recognise this man, but Damen and Nikandros clearly knew him. He was shorter than the two other nurses but was broad shouldered and had a pretty face. He was wearing a white uniform with blue piping detail.

‘Morning!’ said Pallas brightly. ‘Hi Laurent, how are you doing?’

Laurent, buoyed by his earlier words tried to speak but nothing happened except for ‘grrrh’.

_Great. Back to square one._

‘You’re okay aren’t you?’ said Damen looked to Laurent. ‘You managed a few words this morning.’

‘And his obs are all good too,’ chipped in Nikandros, who had finished completing Laurent’s notes. He picked up the large folder and made to leave the room. ‘I’ll be off then, I’ll just be at the station if anyone needs me. Probably sleeping. Jesus Christ my head. Who let me go near the wine?’

‘You wouldn’t let go of the bottle,’ said Pallas, ‘You kept going on about Jord-‘

‘I don’t want to hear any more!’ said Nikandros with his hands in his air, ‘Please leave me alone,’ and with that he left the door.

Pallas laughed and shook his head, ‘Why did he even come in today if he’s feeling that bad?’

‘I bullied him into it,’ said Damen, ‘He’s alright really, he just likes to complain.’ Then he turned to Laurent and explained what the other guy in the room was doing here, ‘Right then Laurent, Pallas is here today to teach us both some basic sign language so we can communicate without the pressure for you to talk.’

Pallas nodded and pulled up a chair on one side of Laurent whilst Damen sat on the other side, ‘Exactly, and you’ll probably find that signing will actually help you to begin to get a grasp on words too. Does that sound good Laurent? Give me a thumbs up if it does.’

It did sound like a good idea. Laurent was sick of trying to get his mouth to co-ordinate, he’d take anything that enabled him to communicate with the staff here, with Damen. He needed to tell them about his uncle and Nicaise.

He’d considered trying to write things down earlier in the week, however, despite his hands being able to hold a pencil, he couldn’t put any pressure behind the movements and so writing proved fruitless. That had led to an afternoon of anger and frustrated crying, then major embarrassment about the crying, then more anger and then finally Laurent falling asleep from all the exertion.

But today was a new day.

He curled his fingers in on his right hand and stuck his thumb up.

‘Amazing!’ said Pallas enthusiastically, ‘That’s great to hear Laurent. Okay I’m just gonna move your arms up here….and place your hands here okay?’ As he was speaking Pallas gently manoeuvred Laurent’s hands so they were now resting on his chest.

‘Okay, the first thing we’ll learn is some feelings and emotions. That way you can tell us how you’re feeling. How does that sound?’

Laurent gave Pallas a thumbs up. So did a grinning Damen. Laurent’s eyes moved sideways to look at the him. Damen was sat on the edge of his chair, upright and eager to learn, eyes focused on Pallas. So Laurent _expressly did not_ take the opportunity admire the way Damen sat straight backed, shoulders squared and arms…. _well! Arm muscles barely covered by uniform sleeves shouldn’t be allowed. It’s not decent._ _Has anyone pointed this out for him?_

 _Still,_ Laurent thought as he looked at Damen sat ready to listen, _I can’t fault him for eagerness…_

The morning progressed with Laurent learning the signs for ‘good’, ‘better’, ‘bad’, ‘worse’, ‘hungry’, ‘thirsty’ and ‘toilet’.

‘All the essential signs,’ commented Damen as he practiced the movement for toilet.

Laurent snorted causing both Damen and Pallas to laugh.

 _Ahh nothing like toilet humour to get men laughing_ thought Laurent as he concentrated very hard on making the appropriate hand gesture for ‘bad’. Pallas spotted this and doubled over even more with giggles.

‘Hey!’ interjected Damen, ‘What’s going on? What did Laurent sign?’ It appeared he hadn’t been looking at Laurent’s signing- too busy concentrating on his own.

Laurent merely shrugged, which led to more outrage from Damen who turned on Laurent glaring at him, hands on hips. Laurent spied Pallas do the sign for ‘good’ discreetly behind Damen’s back and it made him smirk. Then Damen was rounding on Pallas and threatening to beat him up with one of Laurent’s pillows. Laurent let them bicker, content to just listen and watch for once.

He basked there in the achievements he’d made. He was finally able to communicate, finally able to participate in a conversation! For the first time in eleven months he didn’t feel like a patient, he felt like a human. The people in the room weren’t talking about him, they were talking _with_ him. It made him feel warm inside.

Part of Laurent wanted to keep going but Pallas wisely called it a day and asked that Damen and Laurent practice those signs until he was able to come back in a few days time.

‘I hope it helps,’ said Pallas giving Laurent’s leg a reassuring pat, ‘If you ever get sick of Damen, ask for me, I’d be more than happy to come up and visit you,’

 _Oh I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of Damen_ thought Laurent.

And before he could really comprehend that thought his brain had just generated, there was a knock at the door.

‘I’ll get it!’ said Pallas, ‘I was just leaving anyway- Oh um.. hello?’

Pallas had opened the door at the exact time someone had pushed from the other side.

‘Ah. Hello. Am I interrupting?’ came a cold, drawling, dreadfully familiar voice.

Laurent felt his blood turn to ice.

His uncle had just entered the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers!
> 
> Long time no see! Sorry it's been such a long time since I updated. Real Life has been busy! And not particularly in a bad way. I've had Check Please! meet-ups to organise and friends to meet. And it's crunch time on my big project at work and so it's long days until I get that done. Also, I went on holiday to disneyland paris which was the most awesome amazing thing ever in my whole life and I wish I'd never had to leave.
> 
> ANYWAY, I hope you enjoy this new chapter. I know it leaves on a cliffhanger and so I'm really gonna try and get the next chapter up soonish for you guys. Thanks for coming back and reading, Im very grateful for all the lovely support and comments you guys leave :3
> 
> As always you can come and chat to me on my [tumblr](http://hazelwickpepperweb.tumblr.com/) comments and asks do chivvy me along in a gentle way :)
> 
> Next chapter: Who left the Uncle alone with Laurent?


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers!  
> Now, for the 250+ of you that have subscribed to this fic (bloody hell theres a lot of you), you might be forgiven for thinking that your email alerts have glitched. Because WHAT IS THIS? TWO UPDATES IN TWO DAYS? MAddness!!!  
> Well long story short I had a spare afternoon and then this chapter got written. You go 4 weeks with no updates and then two at once? Gotta keep my fortnightly average alive!
> 
> Aaaaaannnd it's a biggie. I feel like everything has been building up to this chapter and this can probably be seen as the end of Act 1 shall we say.
> 
> (The tags have been updated and there are some new warnings which are at the end notes if you feel you need to check.)
> 
> PLEEEEEESE for the love of God dont hate me!

Laurent’s body wasn’t working.

_How can he be here? I got no warning! No, no… he can’t be here!_

He felt numb with shock. All he was able to do was stare and blink at his uncle. A man who he hadn’t seen for nearly a year. But whose presence had been most certainly felt. His uncle looked older; there were grey streaks in his hair, more lines on his face. He was dressed in a suit that Laurent knew was probably worth more than Pallas and Damen’s monthly salary, put together.

He commanded authority and Laurent despised it. Pure, unadulterated anger came over him. Here was the man who had abused him, hurt him, the man who didn’t care about Laurent at all. The man who had expressly said that he wanted Laurent to die.

The man who was still allowed near Nicaise, still allowed to foster him, to touch him. It was unbearable to think about.

Laurent felt himself start to shake, he was so consumed with anger. It went unnoticed, his uncle was speaking to Damen and Pallas, ushering them from the room.

Damen glanced back at Laurent before he left the room. Their eyes met and Laurent wanted nothing more than to shout the truth of what his uncle was- a monster! But he was paralysed, unable to do anything but blink. He couldn’t even sign; _what was the sign for bad again?_

His brain wasn’t functioning, he felt so _slow._ Before he could gather some energy together to communicate to Damen, the nurse was gone, the door shutting with an awful finality.

And then, just like that, Laurent was alone with his uncle.

Richard shook his head, ‘Laurent, Laurent, what are am I going to do with you?’

Laurent remained silent. His uncle moved to stand at the foot of his bed. ‘I’d ask you how you were doing, but the answer is clear. You’re not doing well at all are you?’ there was a long pause, ‘Because the last time I was here, I was _very clear_. You were supposed to just…slip away. And now, I’ve had to come and visit and what do I find? You doing the very opposite of what I’d asked.’

His uncle came to sit on the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight. He reached out a hand and stroked fingers down Laurent’s cheek. Laurent flinched violently at the contact. He tried to open his mouth to speak back, to argue, to defend himself. But that which had always been his best weapon against his uncle- his words- failed him.

‘You used to be such an obedient boy,’ crooned his uncle, ‘so beautifully _pliant.’_

With monumental effort Laurent succeeded in turning his face away. He wanted to recoil as far away from his uncle’s touch as possible. But Richard reached out cold fingers and grasped Laurent’s chin and forced his head back so Laurent had no choice but to face his uncle.

‘But now. Now you are so wilfully defiant.’

Suddenly Richard backhanded Laurent across the face. His head snapped to the side with force and caused the oxygen tube became dislodged. His cheek stung and Laurent had no doubt it would bruise- his skin was like a peach.

_For uncle to leave a mark….his control is slipping._

Laurent sensed something….perhaps nothing so wide as an advantage… but it was a chink in his uncle’s normal façade.

‘Of course, Nicaise has nothing on your beauty, at his age you could make grown men weep. But the difference is-‘ Laurent found his chin once more in his uncle’s bruising grip, demanding and unforgiving. He had no choice but to look into his uncle’s face, ‘-He is such a subservient little boy, so eager to please. He told me about you, how you were _getting better,-‘_ Richard practically spat the words into Laurent’s mouth. ‘He was, can you imagine, actually excited, that naïve, simple boy. He might truly be sad for when he hears how you took a turn for the worse. Despite all my best efforts to turn him away from you. He might be the only one in this world who would actually shed a tear for you.’ And then his uncle paused and gave Laurent such a grin it sent chills down his spine. ‘And then of course I’ll be there to console him, poor mite.’

‘You-‘ Laurent managed a single, strangled, accusatory word.

‘No nephew. You don’t get to speak,’ replied Richard, moving a finger to place it over Laurent’s lips, silencing him. ‘Your mouth is far too venomous, too dangerous to be allowed to open.’

Then, to Laurent’s absolute horror, Richard lowered his mouth over Laurent’s. It was only for a moment, lips meeting lips, barely enough time to catch a breath. Abhorrent shame rushed through Laurent’s body, accompanied by a wealth of memories he thought he’d buried so deep they would never see daylight again- but now they were overwhelming him, pulling him under, pulling back into the past where he’d been young, powerless, helpless.

_n-no…please…no-_

_‘_ Just think of all the things you might say,’ whispered his uncle. Then, before Laurent could take a moment to process the assault, his uncle was reaching behind Laurent’s head and tugging at the pillow.

‘You can tell them to Auguste instead, if it makes you feel better,’ said his uncle, ‘he might listen for a while…until he is so disgusted with what you have done that he rejects you.’

And then the pillow was snatched sharply from behind his head. Laurent fell back onto the one underneath with a jolt. But before he could take a breath the pillow was being pushed onto his face and Laurent found himself unable to breathe.

_No…wait!...No….you can’t…._

He tried struggling and miraculously his body actually co-operated…a little. He was still so weak so all he managed were some twitches of his legs and arms. And all the while still unable to breathe.

His uncle was saying something but it was muffled and he couldn’t hear because blood was rushing to his head, he was aware of his heart beating frantically in his ribcage as he started to panic.

His hands battered ineffectively at his uncle. His uncle had always been a strong man and he used force to hold down the pillow over Laurent’s face.

Laurent found himself no longer even thinking; he was all reaction. He tried to get his hands under the pillow, to push it off his face, but his arms were limp and wouldn’t lift.

He couldn’t move his head, his uncle was holding him in place. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe.

This was it. This was actually it. His uncle had reached his limit and wasn’t subtly trying to abuse him or starve him to death anymore. He would only do something this desperate if he was truly out of options. Some small part of Laurent managed to find some satisfaction in that. That the staff here at the hospital, that Damen, Nikandros, Pallas couldn’t be bought. That they’d genuinely been trying to help him.

And oh how they’d tried. Damen most of all. All that effort he’d put into getting Laurent better and it was for nothing because Laurent couldn’t win against his uncle. He’d never been able to. It was inevitable, this end. Well, perhaps not _this_ particular end. But the death part. He’d somehow forgotten that over the past few months. His outlook had shifted. From wanting to die, trying to die, now he was trying to live, wanting to live. But he’d forgotten that he was never supposed to have that.

It had all been borrowed time.

His lungs were burning, numbness was spreading throughout his body. It was all somehow painful and painless at the same time.

_I can’t…I don’t…._

_…_

_…_

_Auguste._

And that was the last thought Laurent had before blackness overtook him.

 

***

‘Well that was a bit…rude,’ said Pallas, throwing a look back at Laurent’s room as he and Damen moved quickly down the ward corridor back to the nurses station.

‘Understatement,’ grunted Damen. He was fuming; _who let Laurent’s uncle onto the ward? He wasn’t supposed to visit today!_

_‘_ Did you know that man, um, Laurent’s uncle? Did you know he was visiting today?’ asked Pallas.

‘No.’

‘Oh’

Upon arriving swiftly at the nurses station they found it abandoned, no nurses in sight.

Damen paused. _This is unbelievable. Where is everyone?_

‘Stay here,’ he said to Pallas.

‘Wait, where are you going?’ asked Pallas slightly panicked.

‘I need to find Nik. If you see Laurent’s uncle come back this way do _not_ let him leave before I’ve spoken to him.’

‘Ummm okay, but er, what should I do? You know I’m not a nurse, I’m just a technician.’

‘You don’t need to be. Just man the fort here until I get back,’ ordered Damen.

_Where the hell is Nik?_

He set off down the ward, checking each room but found no-one. The ward was strangely empty. Damen checked the stock cupboard, the bathroom, even the sluice but couldn’t find Nik anywhere. Finally, there was only one place left on the ward to look- the tiny kitchenette at the end of the corridor. Damen wrenched open the door and there was Nikandros concentrating hard at an orange effervescent tablet fizzing in a beaker of water.

‘Where the _hell_ have you been?!’ Damen almost yelled.

Nikandros jumped nearly a mile in the air, wide-eyed with shock.

‘What is it? What’s the matter?’

‘Laurent’s uncle just showed up out of nowhere and insisted he see him-‘

‘ _What?_ ’ cried Nik, consternation across his face.

‘Practically booted Pallas and me out of the room’ continued Damen. ‘Couldn’t you have given us some warning?’

‘Damen believe me I had no idea,’ said Nik. ‘I’m sorry I just popped in here for some painkillers, I’ve only been here five minutes.’

‘Where is everyone else?’ asked Damen.

‘They’ve all got some big monthly meeting,’ sighed Nik, ‘Normally lunchtime after the ward rounds is the quietest time.’

‘Well looks like Laurent’s uncle has taken advantage and just walked right in here,’ said Damen. ‘Come on, lets go sort things out. I really don’t think he should just be allowed to show up whenever he wants. I’ve told you I think there’s something up with him.’

‘I know,’ said Nik picking up his tumbler and following Damen back onto the ward, ‘But Damen, you’ve got nothing to go by, not really. He might be a bit sharp and rude but that doesn’t mean-‘

But Nikandros was interrupted by a cry from the end of the corridor ‘Damen!’

Pallas was sprinting towards them, the staff phone outstretched in his hand. He came to a halt in front of the two nurses and panting said ‘I’ve got a young man- Nicaise? On the phone for you Damen, he’s in tears, says he has to talk to you about Laurent-‘

Damen practically snatched the phone from Pallas’s grip and put it on speaker so they could all hear ‘Nicaise? Nicaise are you okay? Is everything alright?’

‘Damen!’ came a wail from down the phone, it was Nicaise’s high voice ‘Damen, oh fuck, it’s Richard.’

‘What’s up? What’s the matter?’ asked Damen urgently, his stomach clenching with unease.

‘I’m really sorry! It’s all my fault!’

‘What is? What is Nicaise? I’m sure you did nothing wrong-‘

‘I told Richard about Laurent!’ Nicaise hiccupped a sob, ‘I told him Laurent was getting better and he was so mad! Oh fuck. He’s gone to the hospital, I think he’s going to do something to Laurent!’

‘What? What’s he going to do?’ asked Damen worriedly. His expression matched by similar ones on Pallas’ and Nikandros’ faces. _This does not sound good._

‘I don’t know!’ cried Nicaise, and then he dissolved into sobs completely. Damen handed the phone back to Pallas ‘Look after him,’ he told the technician in a low tone, ‘Try and call Jord when you can, his number’s in Laurent’s file on the desk.’

He turned to Nik but he didn’t have to say anything as his best friend strode over to where there was an alarm on the wall and pressed it. ‘We need security up here now,’ he said into the speaker, ‘Ward nineteen. _Now_ ’. He looked at Damen and nodded grimly.

The two of them hurried to Laurent’s room, Damen’s heart was beating hard in his chest. _Laurent better be okay._

As they neared the door to Laurent’s room suddenly there came a loud wailing noise. It was the emergency siren of a machine. Damen didn’t even think. He ran towards the room and yanked open the door.

The scene before him didn’t add up.

Laurent’s uncle was there, hovering over his bed, looking distraught. Laurent was lying impossibly still, one could be forgiven for thinking that he was still in his coma except his chest wasn’t rising and falling. The machine was still screaming. Damen’s eyes flicked up- it wasn’t registering him breathing.

‘What happened?’ yelled Nikandros upon entering the room.

The Uncle gave a panicked stammer, ‘I don’t- I don’t _know_ I was just talking to him and then he had a sort of fit and now he’s not- _God-_ he’s not breathing.’

It was as if time was in slow motion, Damen strode past Laurent’s uncle, over to the bed and pressed the red button in the wall for emergencies. Hopefully it would call any remaining nurses in the vicinity to them. He raised two fingers to Laurent’s neck to double check for a pulse. There wasn’t one.

‘Nik we need to resuscitate _now,’_ he said. Nikandros moved to the other side of the bed and began to move Laurent’s head into the correct position.

‘You _can’t’_ said Laurent’s uncle, at the same time Damen spotted a blooming red mark on Laurent’s cheek. A mark that could only have been left by force. ‘My nephew has a ‘Do Not Resuscitate Order. You can’t bring him back.’

It was as if another person had taken over his body, as if someone else was in control because Damen marvelled at how calmly he turned around to face Richard DeVere and how calmly he drew his hand back, fingers clenched into a fist and how calmly he struck Laurent’s uncle cleanly on the jaw, knocking him to the ground.

He wasted no time in watching Laurent’s uncle stagger back and slump down the wall onto the floor. Damen knew how to punch someone so they stayed down. Richard was not getting up anytime soon.

That dealt with he turned back to Laurent’s prone form lying on the bed and settling clasped hands over his ribcage waited the three seconds it took Nikandros to blow oxygen into Laurent’s lungs before pumping out a rhythm trying to get the air to circulate and to start his patient’s heart.

He couldn’t allow himself to think about Laurent, about the mark on his face, what it might mean. Couldn’t allow himself to panic over Laurent’s lack of breathing. Couldn’t allow himself to feel…only do. The only thing that mattered was getting his patient’s lungs to expand and contract like they should, getting the blood pumping, getting the heart to beat a regular rhythm.

Nik blew into Laurent’s mouth again. Damen continued his rhythm of _Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man: no time to talk._

There was sounds and shouting in the room. The Uncle was kicking off, yelling. Damen ignored him.

_Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around since I was born_ he just continued the rhythm.

Then people were bursting into the room. Security guards, they were talking loudly, they had radios. Nikandros was pointing and shouting, then they were removing the Uncle.

_And now it's all right, it's okay, And you may look the other way, We can try to understand, The New York Times' effect on man._

More people in the room. Fellow nurses, a doctor. They were wheeling a defibrillator in through the door. Hooking it up, not stopping. There were voices arguing. Nikandros again. Damen tuned it out. He had to keep going. There was a nurse applying the electrodes as he continued to pump Laurent’s chest.

_Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive, Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin', And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive._

‘Stand clear’ came the authoritative voice of the doctor. Damen stepped back. The defibrillator was analysing. An orange button stated flashing on the machine.

_‘_ Shock needed’ announced the doctor. Everyone stepped back from the bed as the other nurse pressed the flashing button.

Laurent’s chest jolted with the electric force.

Damen made to move back in and continue CPR but he found himself pulled back by Nikandros.

‘Let the others take over’ Nik said as he wound an arm across Damen’s chest and hauled him back.

‘But-‘

‘It’s alright they’ve got him. They’ll bring him back-‘

‘N-Nik’ came Damen’s voice but it didn’t sound like him. It was hoarse, raw.

Nik pulled him from the room and sat him on a chair outside. Damen found a drink of water pushed into his hands. ‘Drink’ ordered Nik.

Damen did as he was told and sipped the water. He hadn’t realised his mouth had gone dry.

‘Shock needed again’ came a voice from Laurent’s room. Damen lurched to his feet, but Nik barred his  way. ‘Don’t even think about it-‘

‘But-‘

‘No, he’s going to be fine, these guys know what they’re doing.’ Said Nikandros firmly. ‘Sit down and wait.’

But Damen couldn’t move. He was frozen in place as he listened to the movement in the room.

_Come on Laurent. Come on._

It was almost unbearable.

They all waited.

Damen could feel his heart thudding in his chest as he hoped, prayed, _willed_ Laurent’s to do the same.

And then Damen heard the most beautiful noise on the planet.

_Beep-Beep._

_Beep-Beep_

_Beep-Beep._

A pulse. Laurent had a pulse, his heart was beating. He was breathing, he was alive!

Damen swayed on the spot, drunk on the relief flooding into him.

‘Oh God’ he said as he slid down the wall into the chair. Nikandros mirrored him on his left.

‘Fuck’

‘Yeah,’ breathed Damen, leaning forward so his forearms were leaning on his thighs and his head hung low between his shoulders. He took in his own shuddering, raw breaths.

‘Probably shouldn’t have done CPR,’ said Nik, head thudding back against the wall as he panted with relief too, ‘But we’ll get into trouble for that later. All that matters is that he’s breathing.’

‘Did you see his face Nik?’ said Damen quietly looking up at his best friend. ‘He was hit. It has to have been his uncle.’

‘I did,’ said Nik, ‘About the only thing that made them hook up the defibrillator, and the only thing in our favour. Jesus Christ, if they find out it was attempted murder…’ Nik left the sentence hanging in the air, as they both sat unable to fully process what had just happened in the last few minutes.

_Minutes._

It felt like a lifetime.

_Laurent._

Laurent had almost died. _Had died._ For a short while, he’d had no pulse. Damen felt sick. Oh God. He’d almost lost him. Laurent had almost gone forever. The guy who he’d been joking with only quarter of an hour ago. The guy who’s beside he’d been at for over two months now. The guy who occupied most of Damen’s waking time and thoughts since he’d been wheeled into ward nineteen all that time ago.

It seemed impossible that it hadn’t actually been that long. Damen couldn’t really imagine life with Laurent anymore.

How today could have turned out different. He might have been sat here facing that very reality. A world without Laurent.

‘You okay?’ asked Nik kindly rubbing Damen on the back.

‘I feel sick,’ Damen groaned. His stomach was churning over and over. His hands were now shaking. He was going into shock…probably.

No doubt it had just been a very stressful event. But there was another layer to it that Damen found himself unable to escape. There was a deep emotional level to it as well.

_Damen couldn’t really imagine life without Laurent anymore_.

‘Fuck’ he whispered under his breath, and when Nikandros told him it was going to be fine, no doubt assuming that Damen was still feeling sick, he let his friend think that. Not willing to confess just yet the overwhelming realisation that Laurent meant a heck of a lot more to him than just being his patient.

Damen didn’t know how long they sat there, whilst the other nurses and doctors remained in Laurent’s room. He just honed in on the _beep-beep_ of the machine that meant that Laurent was alive. But some time must have passed because Pallas was there and he was pressing a phone into Damen’s hands.

‘Er, hello?’ he asked hesitantly pressing the phone to his ear.

‘Damen? Hi Damen it’s Jord,’

‘Jord? Oh hi-‘

‘Damen, I’m with Nicaise now, I’m looking after him. He’s completely distraught Damen. What’s going on with Laurent? Is he okay?’

Damen’s brain wasn’t working correctly, it took him a moment to catch up, ‘Um, yeah! Yeah….he’s- Laurent’s okay…yeah,’

‘Oh thank God,’ came the rushed response from Jord and then Damen heard him say muffled: ‘He’s okay Nicaise, Damen says Laurent’s okay. Yes……yes….I’ll ask him-hey! You can’t just take the ph-‘

‘Damen.’ Came the voice of Nicaise on the phone.

‘Hey Nicaise,’ said Damen, a smile coming onto his no doubt haggard face, ‘Did you just steal Jord’s phone?’

But Nicaise was babbling down the line, disregarding Damen’s question, ‘Damen is Laurent okay? Where’s Richard?’

‘He’s okay, Nicaise. Laurent is okay,’

‘You’ve seen him?’

‘I-‘

‘Are you looking at him right now?’

‘No, hold on….I can be.’ Damen stood up and pushed at the door to Laurent’s room. It was quite crowded with people, but they were not clustered around Laurent’s bed. Instead they were moving about the room, tidying away equipment, rearranging machines.

And in the midst of it all, looking ever the inch a sleeping prince was Laurent. Damen just stood there in the doorway for several, long, glorious seconds as he watched Laurent’s chest rise and fall, as he took in the beautiful face shifting fractionally at every breath his body took. Damen allowed himself the indulgence of admiring Laurent, of letting his newly discovered feelings wash through him, at least until Nicaise was interrupting him shrilly in his ear.

‘And? What’s he doing?!’

‘He’s er, he’s sleeping,’ replied Damen, jolted from his thoughts.

‘But he’s okay?’

‘He’s okay, I promise you, I’m looking at him right now, he’s asleep but he’s okay.’

Damen heard a long and heavy breath over the other end of the phone. And then, ‘Where’s Richard?’

‘I umm, I don’t actually know,’ said Damen looking around as if to spot Laurent’s uncle being restrained in a corner of the room somewhere. ‘Security took him away somewhere,’

‘Security?! What did he do?’ asked Nicaise urgently.

‘I’m not sure yet,’ said Damen, ‘But I think he assaulted Laurent, we’ll have to wait and see,’

‘Is Richard in trouble?’ asked Nicaise.

‘Yeah kid I’m pretty sure he is,’ replied Damen. ‘I want you to stay with Jord alright? I think it’s best if you don’t go anywhere near Richard until we find out what he did to Laurent.’

‘Okay,’ and the response was quiet and Damen would have considered it unusual but that’s when Laurent’s eyelids began to flutter open.

‘Nicaise, I’ve got to go,’ said Damen in a rush, ‘Stay safe alright? I’ve got to go look after Laurent. Nik!’ he yelled and as soon as the other nurse was within arm’s reach, Damen tossed the phone back to him as he hurried towards the edge of Laurent’s bed.

As the chairs had been pushed back to the walls of the room in the haste of earlier movements, so Damen, for want of a better place, perched on the edge of Laurent’s bed. Laurent’s eyes blinked a few times and then they were open, brilliant blue.

‘Hey there,’ said Damen with a smile, ‘How are you feeling?’

Laurent stared at him, then slowly raised a hand to his rapidly bruising cheek.

‘Ow,’ he said as he prodded it.

Damen grinned, ‘Well don’t poke it,’ he warned cheerily. He couldn’t believe it. Laurent was here. Laurent was okay. Laurent was _alive._

Laurent shot him a dark scowl. As if he didn’t realise the trauma they’d all gone just through.

‘Seriously though,’ pressed Damen, ‘Are you okay? You’ve had us all worried,’

‘Mmm fine’ said Laurent, and the words were slightly slurred but they were words alright.

Damen was sure the shock on Laurent’s face was a mirror to his own. Neither of them had been expecting him to speak.

‘My…head…hurts’ said Laurent slowly, as if testing out the words, unsure of them in his mouth.

‘Okay, we’ll get you something for the pain,’ assured Damen, and waved over a nearby nurse to organise some pain-relief.

‘Nicaise?’ asked Laurent, worry now the expression on his face.

‘Nicaise?’ asked Damen, attention back on Laurent and now confused, _why was Laurent asking after Nicaise? Unless…..unless this had something to do with his uncle?_

Things were so rapidly falling into place in Damen’s brain he couldn’t yet understand it all. His mind was distracted by other things, like the way the light kept dancing across Laurent’s face as people walked in front of the window. The way his brow furrowed when he was frowning. The way he wet his lips because his mouth was dry….oh. Damen should probably do something about that.

After helping Laurent wet his mouth with the sponge of water. Laurent was trying again to ask about Nicaise.

‘Laurent, Nicaise is fine. I’ve literally just got off the phone from him. He’s worried about _you_. He’s with Jord, don’t worry. Your uncle has been taken off somewhere by security. Can you tell me what happened? What did he do to you?’

Laurent shook his head.

‘You don’t want to tell me?’ asked Damen, ‘Or you can’t tell me?’

‘Nicaise,’ repeated Laurent stubbornly.

‘I’ve told you, he’s fine. I promise you he’s okay. He’s a tough little cookie. He’ll be okay. Now forgive me but as out of the two of you, _you_ are the one in the hospital bed. I’m more concerned about you. Can you please tell me what happened?’

Laurent gave him a long, assessing look. ‘Nicaise is okay?’

‘ _Yes,_ for the last time Laurent, he is fine. I mean it.’

Laurent continued to look at him, but his eyelids were growing heavy, Damen could tell.

‘My head…hurts,’ Laurent said, ‘Get me some…..painkillers and then I’mmmm going to sleep… I’ll tell you everything…tomorrow.’

His speech was uncoordinated and there were long pauses in between words. But it was unmistakeable and understandable speech. It was also more than that. It was a representation of Laurent’s personality. The orders, the imperious tone…it was all there. All the things Laurent’s former university classmates had said he was like, had warned Damen what he was like. It was all true. The Laurent lying before him was finally in possession of his most deadly asset.

Good thing Damen already liked him then.

_Ah Fuck. That is not a good thing. That is the opposite of a good thing._

But Damen was unable to do very little just then in the moment. He watched as one of the other nurses plunged a syringe-worth’s pain relief into Laurent’s IV drip. And then silently sat there, thoughts churning in his mind as the medicine kicked in and Laurent quite quickly drifted  back off to sleep.

They’d deal with all the fall out tomorrow. Right now, Damen just wanted to watch him sleep, watch the rise and fall of his chest in a hypnotic and soothing and constant rhythm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Warnings for: attempted murder, smothering, resuscitation, temporary death, assault)
> 
> Errr sooo..........
> 
> I've been wanting to write this chapter for months, MONTHS I tell you. And Im sorry! Im sorry Laurent had to go through that. Im so sorry. BUT he's okay. He's okay and Damen saved him and yes those were the lyrics to 'Stayin' Alive'. Am I the only one who remembers that advert where Vinnie Jones taught the nation to do CPR to that song? Please someone tell me in the comments that you remember it too. Its on Youtube. ANYWAY Damen saves the day! It's okay! He punched the Uncle on the noggin. yayyyyyy. AND OMG, Damen realises he has *feelings* for Laurent that arent strictly professional.....oops!
> 
> I would also just like to say, I am so so grateful for all your support. This fic has now got over 500 kudos, over 6000 hits and hundreds of fantastic comments so thank you! It really means a lot and I can continue writing for the enjoyment of it because you are all so patient and supportive and writing doesnt feel like a chore or like an assignment.  
> It's gonna take me days to get back to all your comments, but I'm not complaining. Thank you! <3
> 
> Next chapter: The Aftermath


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody is talking to everbody else but not to each other.

Laurent woke up to the hospital ward in near chaos.

There were nurses and doctors everywhere, coming and going from his room. As soon as they noticed he was awake they swooped in on him, poking him prodding him, asking him a dozen questions about how he felt, was he in pain, was he hungry, could he speak? Laurent managed to answer their questions with a hoarse voice, his sentences broken up with words sometimes jumbled and stuttered but essentially understandable.

He was so distracted in those first long minutes he didn’t even have time to think about what had happened yesterday.

But soon it all came flooding back and his hands started trembling. He clutched at the covers, emotions welling up inside him until it became too much and he was shouting at the doctors to all go away, to leave him alone. He didn’t realise that he’d curled up and was muttering and mumbling nonsense sentences to himself until the Ward Sister Abi was there and uncurling his clenched fingers carefully and pressing a sponge into his hand.

‘Here you go,’ she said gently, ‘Have this to worry on. Can you sit back up for me Laurent?....That’s it, carefully, let’s get you propped up there….would you like some sips of water?’

Laurent sniffed and let her manoeuvre him back up the bed, propping him up on a mountain of pillows. He sipped at the water, grateful that the room was now empty except for the two of them.

‘Sorry,’ he whispered.

‘What on earth are you sorry for?’ she said. ‘It’s us who should be apologising to you! Things went seriously wrong yesterday Laurent and bottom line is we failed you. I’m just so glad that you’re still here. It was touch and go for a while.’

‘I…w-w-what happened?’ asked Laurent looking up at the Sister. She looked like she hadn’t slept. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her hair was coming out of its bun.

‘Laurent sweetie, I don’t even know. I’ve heard ten different stories, people are throwing all sorts of accusations around, the police are now involved. It’s a complete mess. _But,’_ she said with emphasis, ‘I don’t want you worrying about all of that. I want you to concentrate on getting better alright? Look at you! You’re awake, you’re sitting up, you’re talking. Two weeks ago this was unthinkable! You’re doing so well. I want you to focus on yourself okay? Leave everything else to us.’

‘I-I-I need t-t-to t-talk t-to the police,’ stammered Laurent.

‘No, no!’ said Abi shaking her head. ‘Laurent, it’s best if you just rest. You’ve been through a traumatic experience, CPR is not a small matter. You got quite knocked around yesterday, you must have hit your head whilst they were resuscitating you,’ Abi reached out to take Laurent’s chin in her fingers and gently ran a thumb over the sore skin of Laurent’s cheek. Laurent held still, tense at her touch, holding back a flinch. Abi tsked, ‘You’ve such fair skin, I’m sure any small bump would colour up.’

Laurent didn’t bother to correct her, he’d tell the truth to the police,  ‘I-I have to,’ pressed Laurent, ‘It’s important…please?’

Abi regarded him for a long moment.

‘They have asked to speak to you, they were here earlier, but I sent them away. You’re not in a fit state to speak to them.’

Laurent started to feel panicked. _I need to tell them. I need to protect Nicaise. Where’s Damen? I need to tell him._

 _‘Please,’_  he said, pleading, hands scrunching the sponge in his palm.

‘Tomorrow,’ said Abi firmly. ‘You can speak to them tomorrow. Today- today is a write-off. I can’t have anything else going on. It’s bad enough already. There’s going to have to be an inquiry, an investigation. I’ve had to suspend two staff already, Damen and Nikandros. I’ve got trustees and directors coming for emergency meetings, the entire ward is on lockdown.’

‘What?’ breathed Laurent.

‘Laurent I had no choice. Damen and Nik are under investigation. They’ve been accused of assault and putting patients at risk and completely disregarding arranged procedures.’

Laurent did a sharp intake of breath.

_Damen and Nikandros? Suspended? Assault?_

They were the only ones who he could trust. His uncle-

‘Where is my uncle?’ he said quickly.

‘Your uncle? Ah, so…’ Abi paused, she chewed on her lip for a moment before speaking,  ‘Now, Laurent, I will tell you but I don’t want you getting upset okay? It’s all going to be fine. Your uncle was escorted out of the hospital yesterday by our security. The police are looking for him, presumably to interview him further, Damen and Nikandros have accused your uncle of- well. I can’t believe it..’ she shook her head but carried on, ‘the latest I’ve heard however is that the police can't find him. He seems to have gone missing.’

Laurent's brain took a few seconds to process what she had just said. I can only focus on my patients.

‘N-no!’ he cried. ‘No he c-can’t be missing?! _Where is he?’_

‘Laurent, I need you to stay calm for me okay. It’s all going to be okay.’

Laurent was trying to push the covers away, he needed to get out of bed and get to Nicaise, it was so annoying that Damen wasn’t here, he’d be able to help. He’d understand.

‘No.’ he said, ‘I need t-to speak t-t-to the police now, it’s n-not safe-‘ His arms and legs were not co-operating, he had half the blanket off, but couldn’t co-ordinate his legs to move.

‘Laurent. There are security guards outside your room. The ward is on lockdown. You are safe-‘

_No, you don’t understand, it’s not me, it’s Nicaise….ugh just let me out you stupid woman._

‘Laurent DeVere. Get back under the covers now or I’ll have you sedated don’t think I wouldn’t,’ warned Abi.

‘My uncle is out t-t-there!’ cried Laurent, ‘He is dangerous, he tried to kill me!’

Abi faltered. ‘He, he what?’ she whispered.

Laurent looked up at her, ‘Yesterday he attacked me.’

The Ward Sister looked faint, ‘So…so Damen and Nik-‘

‘-Are right,’ said Laurent firmly, locking eye contact with the nurse.

Abi seemed to want to say a lot of things, but nothing would come out of her mouth. ‘I-I didn’t know what to think.’ She said, ‘I’ve had to be neutral, I _had_ to suspend them, the pressure from the directors, allegations of assault, it’s just for the time being. But- but if they were right…’

‘They were.’

‘Okay,’ said Abi, looking around her and patting her pockets slightly panicked, ‘Okay, I’ll go and ring for the officers to come back. It might take some time Laurent.’

‘I’m not going anywhere,’ said Laurent truthfully, attempting to pull the covers back over himself. ‘I’ll wait, but be quick please…my uncle…is a dangerous man.’

Abi fled without another word.

_Attempted murder._

Laurent shivered as he felt phantom fingers pressing down on his body. He remembered batting ineffectively at his uncle’s arms as the pillow was pressed down over his face. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to snap out of it. _Nicaise. Nicaise needs protecting, if my uncle is out there he’s in danger._

Laurent lay there, looking up at the ceiling, thoughts running through his mind. It was an effort to get them in order. He needed to figure out what to say to the police. His priority was Nicaise, it had always been. The police weren’t ideal; there was always a chance that his uncle could pull strings but his preferred route would have been Damen, or failing him, Nikandros as Laurent trusted them.

But Damen and Nikandros weren’t around and Laurent knew better than to try and get in touch with them, if they were part of an investigation and had been suspended, then the proper procedures needed to be followed and they likely wouldn't be allowed to speak to him until things were resolved. It was frustrating, but Laurent was practical.

However, the police weren’t the only option. There was a more direct route. Nicaise counted as family…sort of. So he should try and go through Jord? That was his social workers name wasn’t it? Laurent wracked his brain to try and remember if that was correct.

He pressed the call button.

A healthcare assistant entered the room. He was young, perhaps Laurent’s own age or younger and he looked nervous. He had dark blonde curly hair.

‘Hello,’ he said.

‘Hello,’ replied Laurent, staring at him.

‘Are you okay? You pressed the button.’ The healthcare assistant came over and switched off the flashing orange alarm above Laurent’s bed. When he was close enough Laurent was able to read his name on his badge, it said ‘Erasmus’.

‘I need to make a phone call,’ managed Laurent to say without stumbling over the words.

‘Ah, okay…er who to?’ Erasmus asked.

‘To my…cousin. N-Nicaise,’ said Laurent, this time stumbling over the words a little, he slowed down his speaking which was difficult because this was a matter of urgency. ‘I’ll need the number for his...social worker, his name is Jord, it should be in t-the file. I t-think t-they rang yesterday?’ Damen had said something about being on the phone to Jord and Nicaise hadn’t he?

‘Er, I’ll see what I can do,’ said Erasmus, ‘It’s bit crazy today,’

‘I gathered,’ said Laurent dryly.

‘Give me a few minutes,’ said Erasmus, ‘Do you need anything else?’

‘No,’ said Laurent politely.

In the end it was closer to fifteen minutes but eventually Erasmus came back and held the phone out to Laurent. He struggled to reach out to grasp the phone, his hands weren’t working how he wanted them to so instead Erasmus just came closer and held it to his ear for him.

It rang for a long while before Jord picked up. Laurent could have sworn his heart was beating in time to the rings, anxiety building up the longer it went on.

‘Hello?’

‘Jord, it’s…Laurent,’

‘Laurent? Wow, like, it’s actually you?’

‘Yes…who else who it be?’ said Laurent rolling his eyes at Erasmus. Erasmus stifled a giggle.

‘Sorry, I guess I didn’t think you’d be well enough after what happened yesterday. Damen rang me earlier, do you know he’s been suspended? He was all over the place, in bits God. ’

 _Damen…_ But Laurent couldn’t think about that now.

‘Jord, is Nicaise okay? Is he alright?’

‘Nicaise? Oh yeah, Nicaise is good, he’s okay. He’s been really worried about you actually. Yesterday was really scary for him.’

‘Jord, you c-c-cant let my uncle anywhere near him,’ said Laurent urgently, ‘Listen to me, I’m being serious. My uncle…he’s…he’s n-not safe t-to be around children.’ Laurent glanced at Erasmus, he didn’t want to spill everything to a random stranger but it was important.

Jord was quick to respond on the phone, ‘Laurent? What do you mean? Is there something I need to be aware of?’

‘I’m going to speak t-t-to the…police now,’ said Laurent. ‘But please, please keep Nicaise safe.’

‘Laurent wait- can you please just tell me-‘ but Laurent was pushing the phone away. Memories were threatening to rise up and overwhelm him. His breathing was coming quick and fast.

_It’s okay. He’s not here, he’s not here. Nicaise is safe. He’s not near Nicaise either._

Erasmus hovered at his bedside, holding the phone, unsure what to do. In the end he took the call: ‘Er….. hello? Hi there, I’m sorry, Laurent can’t stay on the phone anymore. Would you like me to take a message?....oh….okay….yeah no that’s fine… I will do…..okay, thanks, bye.’ Erasmus hung up the phone with a beep.

Laurent looked at him whilst trying to get his breathing under control. _It’s okay, it’s okay._

‘Er…Jord was asking after you and he says can you give him a call when you feel better.’ Erasmus relayed the information from the phone call.

Laurent nodded, not trusting his words right now. Where was that sponge he could squeeze? He’d lost it somewhere in the covers.

‘Is there anything I can get you? Do you need me to get Abi? I think she’s trying to get the police officers who were here earlier to come back.’

‘N-no’ said Laurent, catching his breath. He let his head fall back onto the pillow, ‘J-just stay. Distract me….talk t-to me about something. Are you n-new?’

Erasmus set the phone down on the desk in the room and pulled a chair alongside Laurent’s bed.

‘I’m not new, well, I’m new to this ward, I usually work down on the acute stroke ward. But I’m up here today because they’re short staffed.’

‘Damen and Nikandros,’ said Laurent gazing at the ceiling.

‘Yeah, I can’t believe it! I don’t know them personally, but I’ve seen them around and they seemed really nice. But the Ward Sister was made to suspend them because of what happened yesterday because Damen apparently punched a visitor.’

Laurent gaped at Erasmus. ‘He…he _what?’ Wait, did Damen….did he attack my uncle? Is that what the assault charge is for?_

 _‘_ That’s just what I heard,’ said Erasmus, ‘The whole hospital’s talking about it, I don’t know who it was, but it’s strange because usually it’s the other way around. See this?’ Erasmus rolled up his sleeve to show Laurent a bruise that encircled the whole of his wrist, it was yellow now, it must have looked horrendous when he’d first got it. ‘I got this when a patient attacked me, it wasn’t his fault, not really, he had dementia, but still, hazard of the job I guess.’

‘T-that’s….’ started Laurent staring in horror at the bruise, well aware that he had something similar on his own face.

But Erasmus just shrugged, ‘There’s procedures in place. But I don’t know what the procedures are if it’s a nurse hitting someone.’

There was silence in the room then.

‘What…’ began Laurent hesitantly, ‘W-what if it’s a visitor attacking a…patient?’

Erasmus looked thoughtful, then paused. ‘Wait, is this about yesterday? Is this about what you were saying on the phone? Do…do I need to get Abi?’

Laurent blinked, ‘No. I’ll t-tell the police…when they get here,’ he said, moving his gaze away from Erasmus and back to the ceiling. ‘Tell me about t-the stroke ward?’ he asked Erasmus although it wasn’t really a question.

Anything to chase the sensations of pillows being held over his face away.

In the end, Erasmus had provided a nice distraction; telling tales about the mostly elderly people on the stroke ward and how he helped them with their rehabilitation. Laurent let the chatter wash over him, it quietened the distressed part of his mind, allowing the rest to be occupied by rehearsing what he was going to say to the police when they arrived. He had to concentrate hard to think about the different angles this might be played. His uncle had the head start, if Damen had indeed punched the old man then his uncle would waste no time in capitalising on it to his advantage. No matter how satisfying Laurent found it, how impressed ( _just a little)_ he might be, an assault charge was be serious, and would definitely slow things down. Laurent knew he had to counter with something stronger and knew that he also had to protect Nicaise.

So…it was time to finally start telling the truth.

 ‘Mr DeVere, we’d like you to tell us in your own words everything that happened yesterday, when your uncle came to visit you.’

Laurent had found he’d actually dozed off and had woken to find two police officers standing at the foot of his bed. At first, Laurent thought he must be dreaming and for several moments just lay there blinking at them. Then he realised that this was actually real life and they were not figures of his imagination. _Finally, right, here we go._

Erasmus was gone but Abi was in his place carrying out some routine checks. Her face looked pinched and stressed. After Laurent had managed to take some sips of water from an offered cup and wet his lips, the police officers wasted no time in pulling up chairs and starting a barrage of questions. Abi helped Laurent get propped up on the bed so he could best face the officers who were both men. Then the Ward Sister sat on a nearby chair to observe, her hands were twisting in her lap as she waited for things to proceed.

‘So, Mr DeVere, thank you very much for agreeing to speak to us,’ began the first policeman, Officer Matthews. He was a large man with greying hair around the temples, ‘We are here to try to ascertain what happened yesterday, why members of the hospital security team were required to remove your uncle, why two members of staff have been suspended and why there has been an accusation of assault made as well as an accusation of attempted murder.’

Laurent’s mind was whirring so much it almost hurt. If an allegation of attempted murder had already been made it meant Damen or Nikandros had already spoken to the police, therefore Laurent knew he needed to proceed carefully.

‘Who...who’s made the accusations?’ he asked, gesturing with a hand to Abi for some more water to buy time and wet his mouth.

‘So, er, your Uncle, Mr Richard DeVere, has claimed that he was assaulted by a Mr Damen Akielos, a nurse here on the ward and the member of staff responsible for your day to day care,’ said Officer Matthews.

The second policeman, Officer Kapoor - a tall, lean man with a turban instead of a police hat- continued: ‘And in turn, Mr Akielos has accused Mr DeVere with attempted murder- yours- and has said that Mr DeVere assaulted you as well. There is another nurse, Mr Nikandros Delpha, who corroborates this statement. But as we understand, you and your uncle were alone in this room for some time before the two nurses came in and therefore your statement of events is very much needed to clarify a number of things.’

‘Well Officer, I’m afraid I am only of limited use…as I-I-I was unconscious for part of the…events because my Uncle decided t-to smother me,’ said Laurent, matter of factly.

Abi, already pale, went whiter still.

The two police officers began to furiously scribble down notes as Laurent haltingly described what had taken place when his uncle had come to visit. They took pictures of Laurent’s face, of the colourful bruise blooming on the cheek where his uncle had struck him. It was less sore today, but still a reminder of his uncle’s unwanted touch. Then they asked him what motive his uncle would have for killing him.

Laurent let out a laugh that was more of a wheeze and needed more water which he gratefully accepted from the Ward Sister. ‘Officer, with my father and brother gone….I’m heir t-t-to the family fortune. Which…I think at the last c-c-count stood at close t-to a hundred million pounds.’

There was an almost comical silence.

‘Mr DeVere,’ said Officer Matthews with a clearing of his throat, ‘Would you like to press charges against your uncle? We have more than enough to go on to bring him into custody.’

‘I would,’ confirmed Laurent. _If you can find him._ But then he took a deep breath and steeled himself. It wasn’t enough to counter an assault charge with another assault charge and an attempted murder charge, his Uncle would find a way to escape them. _If he hasn’t already._ No, his uncle didn’t just need stopping, he needed destroying,

‘Officer…I would also like you to charge my uncle with child abuse, child sexual assault and rape.’

Laurent watched as the eyes of everyone in the room widened and there was a collective intake of breath but he pressed on, if he didn’t say it now, he never would, ‘He abused me as a child and he is in the process of fostering and adopting another, a boy named Nicaise, whom I am almost certain has been abused too. Uncle must not be allowed anywhere near Nicaise, that is imperative, do you understand?’

‘Yes Mr DeVere,’ said Officer Matthews, earnestly, ‘I understand perfectly. These are serious charges indeed, do you feel you can make a full statement…er with details, now?’

‘I-I….’ Laurent hesitated, his plan was to give the Officers enough to charge his uncle with but hold back on full disclosure to see whether he could trust the police to handle such an allegation. Trust had to be earned. And always keep something in reserve- a lesson his father had taught him- and it was especially relevant when dealing with his uncle. Moves and counter moves. _But_ …‘Is it enough to protect Nicaise?’ he asked quietly.

‘Yes,’ affirmed Officer Matthews, ‘In light of this accusation we shall make sure Mr DeVere isn’t allowed anywhere near the child.’

Laurent sighed in relief, he wasn’t sure he could trust these officers, but between his statement and his earlier phone call with Jord, he had to hope Nicaise was safe.

‘Then Officer…I think I’d like t-t-to leave making a more detailed statement until a bit later…and when I have a lawyer…but t-there is another matter I wish t-to discuss…’

 

***

‘God fucking dammit,’ cried Nik for what must have been the tenth time that day. Only this time he slammed him much of tea down so hard on the kitchen counter that the ceramic cracked. ‘Oh. Shit......er Damen? I think I broke your mug?’

Damen didn’t even bother to sit up from where he was lying on the sofa with a cushion over his face. He hadn’t moved in about three hours not since the police and his dad’s lawyer had left around midday. He felt numb.

‘Just put it in the sink,’ he said. ‘Ill deal with it later, bit busy right now.’

Nik snorted, ‘Busy doing what? Doing nothing whilst our careers fall to pieces around us?’

Damen shoved the cushion off his face. ‘You heard Makedon. Performing CPR to save Laurent’s life will probably be ruled as ethical on account of his uncle trying to you know, _murder_ him. You’ll be fine. I should probably be more worried about the assault charge but if I was in the same situation again? I probably deck him another time.’

‘Jesus,’ swore Nik, ‘I’m glad you didn’t say that the police. Fucking hell Damen.’

‘Laurent’s uncle is a scumbag who just tried to end the life of his own nephew. He was a threat to my patient.’

‘Damen I _know_ ,’ said Nik patiently, leaning on the kitchen counter. ‘Just, you cant have that attitude, not with this investigation-‘

‘I know, I _know,’_ said Damen. ‘Why do you think I got Dad to call Makedon? He’s crochety but he’ll fight our case for us.’

‘I bloody hope so,’ said Nik. ‘In the meantime though, what are we supposed to do? How long are we suspended for? Until a court case? Fuck Damen, I have bills to pay, I need this job.’

‘Yeah I know!’ cried Damen frustrated. He sat up now and looked at Nik over the back of the sofa. ‘Me too!’ _Couldn’t Nik see that out of everything stacked against Damen, being not allowed to work was worst of all?_ He blew out a heaving breath. ‘Sorry mate, it’s been a hell of a couple of days.’

Nik moved out from behind the counter and came to sit on the sofa with Damen, ‘Tell me about it,’ he agreed.

They sat in silence for a while. Damen was struggling to find the confidence that things would be okay. In a few short moments everything in his world had changed. He wondered, not for the first time, about Laurent. About Nicaise. When Abi had rung them in the morning to tell them she was having to suspend them from work pending the investigation into what had happened in Laurent’s room on the yesterday, the first thing he’d asked about was how Laurent was doing.

‘Damen, your dedication to your patients does you credit,’ the Ward Sister had said on the phone, ‘but this is serious. First of all we’ve got to get to the bottom of what happened...Yes, yes _I know_ Damen, you have told me, but you’ve been accused of assault! I have to follow procedures. The police are coming to speak to Laurent at some point. He’s not up and awake at the moment.’

‘Is he okay?’ Damen had asked, desperate for news.

‘He seems okay, a bit peaky looking but he’s got some limited movement and seems his speech has recovered almost completely.’

‘Does he know that…um that Nik and I…?’ _Will he ask after me?_ That was what Damen really wanted to know.

‘When he wakes up I will tell him that you’re both suspended. He’ll be fine Damen, there’s plenty of other good nurses here. We’ll take care of him.’

Damen tried not to feel deflated. What was it that he was expecting? For Laurent to wake up, notice Damen’s absence, get upset and refuse to talk to anyone but him? Would he insist that Damen needed to come back to work? That was an unreasonable thing to expect. And Laurent would be fine. Damen wasn’t arrogant enough that he thought only he could nurse Laurent.

Damen just wanted to be near him. _Because…I care about him._ Ahh yes. That _very_ helpful revelation yesterday. His more-than-strictly-professional feelings for Laurent. Yeah….that wasn’t good. He’s was going to have to get a handle on that.

He could kid himself and say it was just the shock and the adrenaline that rushed through him after performing CPR, but Damen knew better. There was something there, and there wasn’t allowed to be something there. He would clamp down on his feelings, squish them, stamp on them and shove them in a box at the back of his mind and throw away the key.

He could not have feelings for a patient. Absolutely not.

He needed to focus on getting his job back. He needed to be professional, on the line, by the book. He and Nik were facing a fight to get their jobs and professional reputations back.

Damen picked up his phone from where it had been lying on the coffee table and checked for new messages. He’d rung Jord earlier, more to assure himself that Nicaise was okay more than anything else. He cared a lot about the kid too. There were two new messages from Jord. Damen opened them:

_-Hi Damen, Nicaise is fine. He’s back in the foster home now, I’m keeping an eye on him. Laurent rang, I told him N was fine. Am worried about L, any news? Jord._

_-Also, tell Nik I say hi. Sucks about the suspension, hope it gets resolved soon, Jord._

Damen read the text out-loud to Nik. They were both relieved about Nicaise, but then at the same time now concerned about Laurent. Nik was also looking a little pink from the ‘hi’ from Jord.

_-Hi, Jord thanks for letting us know Nicaise is fine. Not heard from Laurent. We’re not advised to contact. Nik and I still suspended. Have spoken to the police today. Damen_

Just as Damen pressed send, he was jolted from where he both sat on the sofa by his phone ringing in his hand. He checked the caller, ‘It’s Makedon,’ he said to Nik. Answering the phone on speaker: ‘Hello?’

‘Hello? Right, Damen. Got some news, a pain in the ass at the moment but I think it’ll work in our favour-‘

‘What is it?’ asked Damen, a hundred thoughts of Laurent, Nicaise, work and Nik rushing though his brain. Nik looked at him, concern plain on his face.

‘It’s the uncle,’ growled Makedon, ‘I’ve got a contact in the police, it’s not officially been announced yet but they can’t find him anywhere. They think he might have fled the country. So, what this means is-‘

But Damen wasn’t listening, all he could think about were Laurent and Nicaise.

-‘Laurent and Nicaise’ he blurted out.

‘- _What?’_ exclaimed Makedon, ‘Damen, listen, never mind about them, think about what this means for you and Nik! It’s great! It makes the uncle look guilty as fuck.’

‘He _is_ guilty’ said Damen and Nik at the same time.

‘I know that,’ said Makedon dismissively. ‘But we need to prove it. I’ve been trying to look into his company and oh ho!’ he crowed, ‘Damen I can smell corruption from a naked _mile_ away-‘

Damen pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled carefully. ‘Makedon, I need you to listen to me. You can look into everything about Richard DeVere in a moment. But I need you to go and make sure that Laurent and the kid Nicaise are okay. Can you do that? Nik and I aren’t supposed to contact the hospital and I’m worried his uncle will try something again or try and get custody of Nicaise.’

‘Oh I wouldn’t worry Damen, from what I hear there is increased security at the hospital, I bet the uncle has done a runner. I wouldn’t be surprised if the police drop your assault charge, especially if he evades arrest and gets violent with them when they finally track him down. Yes, yes, I think you and Nik will be back at work in no time.’

‘Thanks for the confidence Makedon,’ chipped in Nikandros.

‘Not at all dear boy! Not at all! Now, you two stay out of trouble!’ and with a chuckle the lawyer hung up the phone.

‘Christ alive,’ said Damen slumping down the sofa seat. Nikandros just laughed. ‘Damen chill! This is the best news all day!’

‘But Laurent and Nicaise-‘

‘-Will be fine, Nicaise has got Jord, and Laurent is under guard at the hospital, they couldn’t be safer. Fuck…I wonder where the uncle has got to?’

Yeah, Damen wondered the exact same thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Readers! Happy New Year! Hope you all had lovely Christmases. My New Year's resolution is to finish this fic this year. Bloody hope I can do it.  
> (I did want this up earlier but those of you who follow me on tumblr will know that I've been under the weather and my mum broke her hand so I've been looking after her)
> 
> The new chapter is here! 5000 words of me writing myself out of a corner good lord. I deviated from my 32 chapter plan and my GOD that is the last time I do that. Im hoping if I just write reallllly fast here, you wont notice it. Also, I had to do two huge edits so Im sorry if there's anything that doesnt make sense.
> 
> And we have TWO new characters! Erasmus and Makedon. Isnt Erasmus a sweetiepie? And Makedon makes me laugh so much. I hope you like them. They will appear throughout this fic.
> 
> Next update: With the Uncle missing and Damen and Nik still suspended, how is Laurent getting on?


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damen is back on the ward

No one, _no one,_ was more surprised than Damen when he was back in his nurse’s uniform on the Monday morning and allowed passed security onto the long-term intensive care ward.

‘Tell me it’s not just me that has no clue at all what’s going on,’ said Nikandros lowly as they headed up the main ward corridor to the nurses station.

Damen replied ’You and me both mate.’

‘Feels so weird,’ said Nik in response, clearly unsettled by everything. They’d each had a phone call that morning to tell them to come back into work, but no reason or explanation was given. So Nik had picked Damen up in his car like usual- only it didn’t feel like the usual this morning- and drove them to work.

Damen had spent the entirety of the morning so far thinking of nothing but Laurent. _Was he okay? Was there a problem?_ He felt sure they would have been told if there were any issues with Laurent because surely it would just make their case of suspension worse. But they’d heard nothing.  _I have to believe he’s okay._

To be quite honest, Damen hadn’t been able to get Laurent out of his head all weekend. Damen had thought back to when he’d first seen Laurent, all laid out like Titania, hair haloing his face. He was beautiful, no doubt, but over the past two months Damen had witnessed Laurent fighting a battle against his trapped body. Gaining weight, muscle mass, brain activity increasing. And then he’d woken up and the first thing he’d been worried about was Nicaise. Laurent hadn’t spared a thought for himself. He’d been so worried about the boy.

Knowing what Damen knew now, about how dangerous Laurent’s uncle was- someone who’d tried to _kill_ his own nephew. Damen cursed himself for not vocalising his suspicions about the uncle sooner, or making them louder. He’d been onto something, he could see that now, but it didn’t make him feel any better. Laurent had still been attacked, Nicaise…thank God Nicaise was now safe from the hands of such a violent, manipulative man. No, thank Laurent, for that. He was the one who had made sure Nicaise was safe.

But who was keeping Laurent safe?

Damen wasn’t. Damen hadn’t been there and the Uncle had just walked in and tried to end Laurent’s life. Yes Damen might have performed CPR, but he should never have had to in the first place. He’d failed Laurent.

He owed Laurent an apology.

So it was with some trepidation that Damen walked back onto the ward, unsure of what he was going to encounter. The two of them arrived at the nurse’s station and hesitant of what to do just stood there awkwardly until Ward Sister Abi, popped her head around the door of Mrs Williams’ room and said ‘Morning boys, I’ll be with you in a few minutes, in the meantime I’d suggest you go and speak to Laurent. You owe him your thanks,’ and then she was gone.

‘Laurent?’ asked Nikandros incredulously. Damen mirrored his expression. The two of them hurried off to Laurent’s room.

Laurent was sat up in bed, with a mountain of pillows behind his head, looking every inch a regal prince waiting to receive his court.

‘Ah, Damen and N-N-Nikandros’ he said in greeting with a slight stammer.

‘Laurent,’ breathed Damen, staring. ‘…Are, are you okay?’ With the Winter light streaming through the window Laurent looked ethereal. Damen’s heart stuttered a bit.

‘Perfectly fine, t-thank you,’ responded Laurent coolly. He spared Damen a glance but then looked away quickly.

There were a few moments where Damen and Nikandros just stood in silence exchanging looks between themselves. There were a thousand things on Damen’s tongue but he didn’t know how to say any of them.

It was Laurent who broke the silence ‘Well don’t just stand t-there, don’t you two have jobs to do?’

‘Yes about that,’ began Nik, ‘I thought we were suspended indefinitely, but… then Abi said something about owing you…thanks?’

Laurent rolled his eyes looking exasperatedly. ‘Fine, if you need to get your gratitude off your chest then say it. But honestly? I just pointed out a couple of small t-things to the police and the directors and the trustees board and they soon came around to my way of t-thinking.’

Damen was pretty sure he hadn’t blinked once whilst staring at Laurent, and now his jaw must have hit the floor as well. Not a week ago, Laurent was struggling to say one word, let alone two, and now he was stringing together sentences with no effort at all- a slight tremor on some consonants aside. And it wasn’t just what he was saying, it was also the _tone._  A condescending, haughty tone that Damen could not have imagined coming from that beautiful mouth. His mind flicked back to when he’d been researching Laurent’s past and had come across old acquaintances, old school friends. This is how they’d all described him, _a stone-cold bitch._

Damen wasn’t sure how he felt about it. It certainly quashed some of the awe he’d felt upon seeing Laurent again for the first time in what felt like an age, even though it was only a few days. So much had happened. He wanted to know how Laurent was feeling, about his uncle, about the attempt to kill him, about the CPR, about everything. But he wasn’t sure the Laurent sat in front of him now would tell him, even though he had his words now.

‘So _you_ persuaded the hospital boards to bring us back? The Director?’ asked Nikandros like he couldn’t believe it. Damen could hardly believe it himself. _Laurent_ had argued for them to get their jobs back.

‘Yes,’ said Laurent curtly.

Nikandros spluttered, ‘ _Why?’_

‘ _Because,_ you two are actually somewhat competent at your job. And’ said Laurent, ‘I believe I have to thank you for my current state of _not being dead.’_

‘Anytime,’ said Damen hoarsely.

Laurent took a breath, ‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘I know you disobeyed a DNR order, which should never have been allowed in the first place, I would never have consented to that. But, thank you, for what you both did. I am grateful.’ The words were said sincerely, without any stammer or pause, as if rehearsed.

‘I…well…yes…of course,’ said Nik.

‘Anytime,’ repeated Damen. Laurent met his gaze, sharp. Those blue eyes really were breath-taking.

‘Right, well. We should probably report to Abi then,’ said Nikandros, making to leave the room, but, ‘Have your checks been done?’ asked Damen to Laurent.

Laurent shook his head, ‘No.’

Damen volunteered to carry them out, watching Laurent’s face the entire time. Laurent shrugged and Damen couldn’t read his expression. Nikandros clapped him on the back and left the room, promising to never complain about his job, his work or his life ever again.

Damen chuckled as the door closed, ‘He’s happy to be back.’ He said to Laurent, ‘Between you and me, he was really, really worrying about the suspension.’

‘And you?’ asked Laurent, cocking his head inquisitively.

‘Am I what?’

‘Are you happy to be back?’

‘You know I am,’ said Damen, ‘You’re my favourite patient after all.’ And oh shit, that was definitely flirting. _Fuck._ Damen immediately tried to wipe the grin off his face. _Professional. Don’t give them another reason to suspend you. Jesus. Be professional._

It might have been a trick in that Laurent’s cheeks may have coloured slightly, but his voice was sharp as he responded, ‘I’m sure that’s not t-true.’

‘Well….’ Said Damen not seeing a good way out of this at all. He could protest and admit Laurent _was_ his favourite patient or he could agree, in which case was a big, fat lie. ‘Of course it’s true, all my patients are my favourite.’ _Nice save_ he thought sarcastically.

Laurent scoffed as if he was thinking the exact same thing.

There was a pause.

Then Damen spoke, ‘I realise we’ve not properly talked before.’

Laurent looked at him with consideration ‘No, I suppose not,’ he replied. With a slow but deliberate motion, he held out his hand. Damen smiled and moved around from the foot of the bed to the side and took it. They shook.

‘Nice to meet you Laurent, I’m Damen,’ he said in greeting.

‘Nice to meet you too Damen,’ responded Laurent. And if Damen was slow to release his hand from Laurent’s then no- one was around to notice.

‘Laurent-‘ he started.

Laurent looked at him, his gaze soft for the first time that morning.

‘Laurent, I just wanted to say sorry,’

 ‘Sorry?’ said Laurent.

‘No _I’m_ sorry,’ laughed Damen, but he sobered up with the next sentence. ‘I should have worked it out sooner about your uncle. I should have reported him, I should have stopped him. I’m…..I’m sorry,’ he all but whispered.

Laurent let out a long sigh. ‘No,’ he said simply. ‘No, if anyone is to blame it’s me. I should have said something all those years ago, but….but I was so _scared._ My uncle….he’s so manipulative, he t-told me if Auguste found out he’d be disgusted and disown me.’

Damen’s thoughts raced. _Years ago._ How long had Laurent’s uncle been physically abusing him for?

‘No one would ever have thought that Laurent,’ he said, trying to comfort him. ‘But you’ve been so brave, and now Nicaise is safe. Your uncle can’t hurt him.’

‘I sincerely hope so,’ said Laurent, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back onto the pillows.

Damen didn’t say anything else just then. He moved forward and began to do Laurent’s observations. Starting with his IV fluids and then his nasal-gastric tube.

‘Are you eating now?’ Damen asked.

Laurent scowled, ‘Not yet,’ he said. ‘I’ve got a big assessment this afternoon with the consultants. T-then, hopefully I can start to eat solid foods. Good lord, what do I have to do t-to get a fucking cup of t-tea in this place?’

Damen chuckled, ‘If the doctors say you can have tea, I’ll personally make you some myself’ he said. _Was that flirting? Maybe….kind of…..fuck._

_‘_ Thank you,’ said Laurent.

Damn took his arm then and began to do Laurent’s blood pressure. Laurent watched the way Damen’s hands took his arm and put the cuff on it. Damen noticed Laurent noticing.

‘You’re still far too skinny,’ he grumbled, ‘This is a child’s cuff.’

‘I like watching you do the checks,’ said Laurent under lowered eyelashes, watching as the cuff expanded with air and squeezed his arm. Damen tried to ignore the way his heart started beating quicker at that. _Was that? Does he mean-_ Damen firmly put those thoughts to bed. Laurent was just curious, he hadn’t had the power of sight for eleven months, so the guy liked to observe things. Damen just hmmmm’d in response as he jotted down the figures on the monitor. 

Then, Damen took Laurent’s wrist and pressed two fingers lightly to his veins and began to take his pulse, an eye on his fob watch.

‘Why do you do it by hand?’ asked Laurent. ‘I always wondered. Everyone else uses the machine.’

‘I prefer it,’ said Damen simply.

‘You don’t trust the machines?’

‘I do, but I guess….I like to take the moment. I like to hear my patients’ pulse…..it’s weird I know. But the human contact. It’s nice to feel the…life of someone…I don’t know….I’m not explaining it very well.’ Damen counted the seconds in his head and wrote the pulse down before he forgot. Only when he’d done that did he look up into Laurent’s face.

Laurent was wearing the most open expression Damen had seen on him. He looked younger than his twenty-three years. ‘I understand,’ he whispered.

 

***

Laurent had told himself that it was simply a matter of a debt owed to get Damen and Nikandros their jobs back. That because they’d saved his life this was the least he could do. He’d argued his case to the police, the hospital director and the head of the trustees board. Unsurprisingly they all come around to his way of thinking in the end. It felt good to have his voice back, to be in command of words again.

Now, with some control back he began to reconstruct the walls he’d always had up around himself, for protection. No longer was he vulnerable, at the mercy of hospital staff and his uncle. He was not at the mercy of anyone.

Well perhaps only the healthcare assistants who kept denying him tea. No amount of coercion, flattery or threats would result in him getting a cup of tea. Laurent tried to not grind his teeth.

Monday morning came around and Laurent was lying in bed pretending he didn’t have tension in his belly at the return of Damen and Nikandros. _It’s not a big deal. They’ll walk in, give you praise and thanks and then you can carry on with your day._

But it wasn’t quite like that. Laurent felt different towards them than any of the other staff. There were two reasons for that: one, they obviously cared about him, cared enough to save his life, and two, something which had been growing before the events of Friday but culminated in the saving of his life: Laurent trusted them. Absolutely.

Trust was something earned and they’d earned it several times over. That put them in a position of power as far as Laurent was concerned. He could quite easily make himself feel more superior than anyone else in this hospital, apart from those two. And he knew they wouldn’t hesitate to bring him back down to earth. _Like Auguste used to do._

Laurent, in a knee-jerk reaction shoved that thought so far down inside himself he didn’t even know where it went. He tried to smooth out his thoughts, to calm himself.

And of course that’s when the two nurses decided to stroll into his room.

Laurent greeted them, only stumbling over Nikandros’ name a little. _Pull it together._ Laurent slammed up some of the newly constructed walls and tried to keep his tone cold, aloof.

They both seemed surprised that it was him who had persuaded the relevant people to let them back onto the ward, to resume their work. Laurent gathered some satisfaction in being the one to tell them the truth and enjoyed seeing their dumbstruck faces as he revealed what he’d done.

And then he had to say it. The words he’d spent a not inconsiderable time practicing so he wouldn’t stumble over them. The gratitude, the _thanks for saving my life. You don’t know how much I owe you._ And wasn’t that the truth of it.

‘Anytime.’  Damen had said. Laurent had looked at him and seen that Damen absolutely meant it. That he would save Laurent again and again, as many times as it would take. And _this, this_ was dangerous, Damen should not be doing stupid things like punching his uncle because of Laurent. Laurent knew he wasn’t worth it. And besides, another time he might not be able to convince some very stupid people that two very good nurses needed their jobs back.

Trust was a dangerous thing.

Laurent kept a carefully neutral expression as Damen volunteered to do his observations. And then Nikandros left and it was just them.

Laurent asked Damen if he was happy to be back. _Are you happy to see me?_

‘You know I am,’ Damen had replied with a smirk: ‘You’re my favourite patient after all.’

There was something in the words and the tone that had Laurent’s cheeks heating, but he forced his voice to be hard when he replied, ‘I’m sure that’s not t-true.’

Damen took a while to dig himself out of the hole he’d dug but he did so eventually much to Laurent’s amusement. A kinder man would take pity, but Laurent didn’t think he’d ever been called kind.

Then Damen seemed to come to some realisation and before Laurent knew what was happening they were shaking hands and greeting each other. Never mind that Damen had been nursing Laurent for well over two months now, never mind that he’d fed him, washed him, dressed him. Even Laurent’s wakefulness of the past week or so didn’t seem to count. It was, genuinely, like meeting each other for the first time, on a level-footing more or less. And Laurent found that the man in front of him had not just his trust and respect, but also his fondness in a way. _Dangerous._

Damen’s hand felt warm in his. His hand was larger, encasing Laurent’s in a way that felt comforting, not threatening. Laurent was almost reluctant to let go.

And then Damen was apologising, saying sorry for not stopping Laurent’s uncle and Laurent had to remind himself to breathe. How could Damen be there, saying sorry? Looking out for him, defending him, protecting him. It was misplaced; when Laurent had not stopped his uncle in all the years after the abuse. He said as much to Damen, even going so far as to say why he’d never said anything…the _thought_ of Auguste turning him away when he admitted what his uncle had done to him.

Once again he banished all thoughts of Auguste from his mind with such strength it was all he could do to lie there on the bed. _I hope Nicaise is safe._ Laurent’s silence had put him in danger after all.

Damen proceeded to carry out Laurent’s observations and after several minutes of quietness, Laurent managed to calm his mind. He lamented the lack of tea. Damen seemed to find it amusing but promised to make him a cup all the same. _Is it not enough that I owe you my life? Must I owe you everything else as well?_

Laurent watched Damen as he carried out the checks. The sensations were all familiar but it was so very different having the power of sight now as well. It was like before he’d only had half the picture, no, even less. It was fascinating.

When Damen came to take his wrist in the familiar gesture of taking his pulse Laurent finally got the chance to ask him something he’d always wondered, ‘Why do you do it by hand?’

Laurent remembered back to when he’d been very deep in his coma, hardly rising to awareness some days, and as such barely able to hear or distinguish words which were being said around him, he’d always been able to recognise if Damen was there simply because he always took Laurent’s pulse by hand.

‘I prefer it,’ came the answer.

‘You don’t trust the machines?’ Laurent guessed. He watched as Damen’s fingers rested on his wrist, the dark skin contrasting against his own pale, translucent skin, blue veins visible.

Damen’s answer was slow to come as he calmly measured Laurent’s pulse, eyes downcast on his fob-watch- a scratched but serviceable model. ‘I do, but I guess….I like to take the moment. I like to hear my patients’ pulse…..it’s weird I know. But the human contact. It’s nice to feel the…life of someone…I don’t know….I’m not explaining it very well.’

Laurent thought Damen was explaining perfectly something very difficult to explain. It was a moment in time, taking someone’s pulse. Everything faded away when you concentrated on the thump-thump, of a heartbeat, of blood pumping around the body. Was there anything more obvious as a sign of life? Anything as comforting as the beating of a heart. And in the busy, hectic work-schedule of a nurse, Laurent could completely understand why Damen wanted to take a moment away from all of that, to ground things, to reassure himself that his patient was alive.

‘I understand,’ he said quietly.

He didn’t say anything else for a while as Damen finished Laurent’s checks and filled in his charts. Laurent plucked absentmindedly at his blanket, it was green wool today, Laurent thought he preferred the yellow. It was a happier colour. He caught Damen glancing at him several times, but ignored it until-

‘Yes? What is it?’ he asked acidly.

Damen flinched, Laurent didn’t care, he felt a bit like a zoo animal being goggled at. Damen seemed to hesitate and bought time by closing Laurent’s file and placing it on the desk.

‘Do you…um do you want me to sort your hair?’ asked Damen, hovering.

Laurent looked down at the long blonde strands visibly snaking down to his clavicle. ‘Oh’ he said simply. _Do I want Damen to sort my hair?_ He should say no. He should ask for the hospital hairdresser to come sort it out, or failing that get some scissors and hack at it himself- although he knew it was extremely unlikely that the nursing staff would let any sharp objects into the room, hell, he couldn’t even get a cup of tea in here.

But instead Laurent found himself nodding and desperately trying not to tense up as Damen extracted a hairbrush from the nearby drawer and sat on the bed. Damen paused, ‘Hmmmm how shall we do this?’ he said.

Laurent was puzzled, ‘Like you always do?’ he asked. And Damen’s skin was too dark to see if he was blushing but Laurent wondered if he was.

Damen cleared his throat a little, still looking awkward and Laurent understood. _He doesn’t want me drooling on his shoulder_. ‘Oh,’ he said, ‘It’s okay, if you don’t want t-to.’

‘No I do,’ said Damen quickly. ‘Just, hang on, let me prop you up.’ Damen then spent a few minutes helping Laurent sit much more upright, propped up by pillows and the bed. Laurent marvelled at the care Damen took to make sure Laurent was comfortable. Laurent felt a bit like a baby; when they cant sit up for themselves.

‘You know, it’s good for you to sit up anyway,’ said Damen, ‘We should get you out of bed and into a chair in the next few days.’

Laurent eyed the big, padded armchair next to his bed dubiously, ‘I think t-that’s highly unlikely,’ he said.

‘What? No!’ exclaimed Damen, ‘You’d be surprised what we can do with some determination.’

‘My body wont co-operate,’ protested Laurent, ‘I’m useless.’

Damen gave him a look. It was a look that clearly said _I’m not putting up with your self-pity._

_‘_ Tomorrow,’ said Damen in a tone that brooked no further argument, ‘Me, you, Nikandros. We’ll get you in that chair. You’ve been lying down far too long. All the blood has seeped from your brain. As soon as you get moving, you’ll start thinking smarter.’

‘Ex-excuse me?’ Laurent spluttered, ‘I’ll have you know I’m very intelligent.’

Damen raised an eyebrow, but couldn’t hold a serious expression and chuckled. The sound warmed Laurent like heat from a hot chocolate. Damen perched on the bed, at a better angle and began to pull the brush through Laurent’s hair.

‘I don’t know how it gets so tangled,’ said Damen as he encountered a knot almost immediately.

Laurent rolled his eyes. ‘It’s because it’s so long.’

Damen shook his head as he finally tackled that knot, only to catch another one within the same stroke. Laurent flinched as the hair was pulled. ‘Ow!’ He flicked Damen a dirty look.

‘Sorry,’ said Damen apologetically, and looking abashed. He likely wasn’t used to Laurent complaining. Every other time his patient had been unable to protest as the hair had caught and been tugged. ‘It’s not because it’s long, I used to have long hair. I think it’s because it’s so fine. All the little strands just get attached to one another.’

Laurent tried to stay as still as possible as Damen worked his way from the front to the back on one side. ‘I’m not sure about the long hair,’ he sighed.

Damen looked up from where he’d been smoothing some strands, ‘I like it,’ he said.

‘I know,’ Laurent said wryly. _And that’s about the only reason why I haven’t had it hacked off yet,_ he thought. It was a stupid reason. He hated having long hair. He took a breath and let it out heavily.

Damen stilled, ‘But it’s your hair,’ he said, ‘You should have it how you want.’

Laurent tsked, ‘It’s not- I just….I used to have long hair as a child, longer than this. I could braid it.’

‘Oh wow,’ said Damen appreciatively.  

‘But then I cut it.’

‘How come?’

‘Because…’ and why was it so difficult? Damen already knew about his uncle, Damen had defended Laurent against his uncle. Laurent trusted him. ‘Because my uncle liked it so much.’ Damen frowned, a deep ridge between his dark eyebrows, ‘Because he would run his fingers through it when he made me…when he made me suck his cock.’

There was an awful silence.

Then Damen stood up, uncoordinated, staggered back and had to lean on the windowsill. His face was a mask of horror. Laurent couldn’t bear to look at him. He clenched his fingers around the blanket so hard his knuckles turned white.

‘ _What?’_ Damen’s voice was raspy, hoarse.

‘You know,’ said Laurent coldly. ‘You know he abused me.’

‘I…I didn’t know he…. _Jesus fuck,’ s_ wore Damen. It was ugly, the consonants harsh. ‘I thought he just hit you, physically assaulted you. Not that that’s nothing…..just-’

Laurent looked at him sharply, ‘Why did you think I was so scared for Nicaise?’

Damen, pale already, now went a shade of green. ‘ _Fuck….fuck…_ Christ I feel sick.’

There was a long pause. ‘Well thank God you’re in a hospital then.’ Said Laurent coldly.

Damen seemed to realise he’d said the wrong thing, ‘No, wait Laurent, I mean.’

‘Get out,’ said Laurent. ‘I don’t need your pity, and I certainly don’t want your disgust.’ Laurent almost felt sick himself. _How could I be so stupid?_ Damen clearly wasn’t the man Laurent had thought he was. _I’m so stupid. How could I think- How could I trust this man? How could I even think he was on my side. Uncle was right, I am disgusting._

‘ _Jesus,’_ said Damen standing up properly, ‘Laurent, I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t _know_. It’s just a bit of a shock okay. I don’t- It doesn’t change anything. _I swear._ I still think you’re amazing-‘ Damen stopped abruptly.

Laurent, separated from this thoughts like a bullet from a gun looked at Damen. ‘What. _Why?’_ he hissed. _This is not- How can he think that? Uncle said-_

‘Because, because Laurent, you’re _here._ You’re sitting up in bed, talking to me. You survived abuse from when you were a kid, you’ve survived a coma, you’ve survived an attempt on your life, _you survived him_ and you’re sitting here, telling me to get out and I will, because I respect you. I will go. But not before I tell you that I am in awe of you. At how strong you are, I just….yeah.’ Damen was almost panting from that outburst. There was a moment where he and Laurent were just staring at one another and then the nurse was striding to the door, meaning to leave the room.

‘Wait!’

Damen stopped, hand on the doorknob. Laurent leaned forward carefully, and reaching out a hand picked up the discarded hairbrush. He lifted it up and held it out to Damen.

‘You haven’t finished,’ he said, unable to come up with anything better. He watched as Damen took several breaths and then returned, taking the brush from Laurent and sitting on the other side of the bed. He resumed his brushing quietly.

Laurent sat and tried to process the words which had poured out of Damen’s mouth. _He thinks I’m amazing. He is in awe of me, he thinks I am strong…_ Over and over these thoughts swirled around his mind.

They didn’t speak. There seemed to be some understanding that they didn’t have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Readers, hope you are well.
> 
> This month has been really really tough. Medically things are not great (like not at all great) and my mental health has taken a real dive.
> 
> This chapter has been sat at 80% written for about 3 weeks, but I finally sat down and finsihed it. I dont think it's the best but I wanted to get it up so I can keep things progressing. I guess it's good for our boys to bond :)
> 
> Next chapter: Oh my god we'll be HALFWAY! Wow!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurent gives his full statement to the police

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for Freya because I was supposed to visit her this weekend but the #beastfromtheeast made my flight get cancelled, so I wrote this instead to show her I love her.

Laurent had made a decision about his hair. He’d wavered back and forth during the night  but in the morning he’d been confident in his choice. The hospital hairdresser, a nice girl called Kashel had come that morning and was currently snipping away at the long strands which were wet after the most glorious bed bath Laurent had yet experienced. The smell of coconut shampoo hung in the air as Kashel moved around the armchair which Laurent sat on to start cutting away at the other side.

Laurent didn’t want his hair long, it had too many negative associations, but he didn’t fancy it being as short as before, so he’d settled on something in the middle: a long bob. Kashel continued working her way around until his hair was all of the same length- just touching the point where his neck met his shoulders.

Laurent lifted his arm slowly -he couldn’t move it any quicker - and ran his fingers through the drying ends. His hair dried naturally straight so there was no need to do anything to it. It felt nice to have something new. _Nice to have a change._

‘T-thank you,’ he said genuinely. Kashel smiled as she pack up her kit. ‘No worries, tell Damen I said hi yeah?’

Laurent blinked, ‘You know Damen?’

‘Yeah I do,’ Kashel said with a half-laugh, ‘We dated.’

‘Oh,’ replied Laurent, not quite sure what to do with this information.

‘It’s okay, we ended on good terms, it was never anything serious,’ Kashel explained. ‘Just a bit of fun you know?’

‘Oh…um...yeah’ said Laurent, not really knowing due to having absolutely no experience of the kind of ‘fun’ Kashel was referring to.

‘Right, well, I hope you’re out by the time you next need a haircut,’ said the hairdresser kindly, ‘Otherwise just ask for me.’

‘Thank you,’ said Laurent again, and with that she’d left.

Laurent was still sat in the armchair, the morning nurses insisting on him getting into it so that he could at least do a little movement and get some better circulation. It must have only be an hour or so but Laurent was already exhausted. However, he was determined to stay sitting up until Damen arrived for the afternoon shift. It was silly, but Laurent wanted the nurse to see him out of bed. He thought Damen would be pleased with him.

Laurent didn’t really have anything to occupy him whilst he sat. Normally in bed he would doze, but the armchair didn’t really lend itself to napping. Reading was out, his eyes still struggled to focus on things for a long time and when he concentrated hard on something his headache would worsen. The doctors weren’t sure about his eyesight, they said it was probably a consequence of his head injury. An optician was due to come and assess him at some point.

Neither could Laurent do something with his hands, they were too weak to lift much beyond his own hands and his co-ordination was still off. Again, likely a consequence of the head injury. And again, a specialist was going to come and visit him at some point.

So much of hospital life was just waiting.

So Laurent did just that although, it wasn’t all bad. He passed the time looking out of the window, the chair having a better view than his bed. He was able to see the spread of the city and the cold, grey sky of December.  _It’s December now. It’s almost a year to the day…the accident, his father, Auguste..._

Laurent once again pushed those thoughts away, far away, until they were hidden. He clenched his fingers into the blanket on his lap, pulling at the wool. Yellow today.

There was a soft knock at the door. Laurent’s eyes flicked to the clock but it wasn’t time for the afternoon shift so it couldn’t be Damen. It wasn’t. Professor Ayub entered the room with Abi accompanying  her holding Laurent’s file. Professor Ayub positively beamed at him when she saw he was sitting up.

‘Laurent! Look at you! This is fantastic!’

‘Good morning,’ said Laurent a bit awkwardly, he’d not officially met the professor, although he knew she’d come several times to make decisions about his care and he recognised her voice.

‘And speaking too! This really is brilliant,’ said the professor. She looked to be in her mid-forties with dark hair pulled into a ponytail, brown eyes lined with black kohl and smile lines around her mouth. She was dressed in a smart trouser-suit but still had a stethoscope around her neck like one of the junior doctors. She looked kind Laurent thought.

Moving into the room fully, Professor Ayub then proceeded to ask Laurent several questions about how he was feeling, how he felt he was doing.

It was a nice change from doctors just talking _at_ him and not too him.

‘I t-think, I’m okay,’ said Laurent.

‘You sure?’ asked Professor Ayub carefully. ‘You’ve been through more than anyone ever should. Do you think it might be helpful to speak to someone about everything? We’re doing our best to heal your body, but I think it would be amiss to not work on healing your mind too.’

On one level, a rational level Laurent really appreciated what the professor was saying and thought it sounded like a good idea. However, on a more emotional level, Laurent really, _really_ did not want to get into unlocking that box in his mind keeping everything  nice and neatly tucked away.

It was neither a long-term or healthy solution, but it was all Laurent had at the moment to cope and to function.

‘Ah, no thank you,’ he replied stiffly. _My mind is a dangerous place._

Professor Ayub eyed him like she knew exactly what was going on. But she didn’t press things and left a leaflet on the bedside cabinet for Laurent to look through if he fancied it at another time.

‘Now, Laurent, I do come bearing good news,’ she said, turning back to him and sitting on the bed facing him. Laurent quirked an eyebrow. _Oh yes?_

‘Now that you are sitting up, I think we can probably try you with some food,’ she said with a smile.

Not expecting that, Laurent let out an excited breath, ‘Really?’

‘Yes. But no rushing things, no starting with a three course meal just yet,’ she said with a laugh. ‘We’ll start you on yoghurt.’

_Yoghurt?_

_‘Yoghurt?’_ Laurent echoed his thought out-loud.

Both the professor and Abi laughed at Laurent’s expression. ‘Yes, my dear, yoghurt. Something soft and easy to digest. You’ve been on a liquid diet for a year. We’ll have to work up to solids very slowly.’

‘So the tube stays?’

‘The tube stays,’ said Abi nodding. Laurent scowled. He couldn’t feel the nasal-gastric tube in his nose or his throat, but it was more the principle of the tube. He didn’t want to be fed via a tube anymore, he was awake, he was sitting up. _I’m capable of feeding myself surely. Yoghurt is not hard, is that meant to be an insult?_

‘I know, I know, it ruins your handsome face a bit,’ said Professor Ayub, ‘But I tell you, people will hardly notice.’

 _There’s no one to notice,_ thought Laurent.

‘You can also,’ continued the professor, ‘Have a cup of tea.’

Any mutinous thoughts immediately flew out of his mind. Laurent had never in his life wanted to kiss a woman until now. Tea deprivation could do that to someone.

‘Tea?’ he asked happily. ‘Yes,’ laughed Professor Ayub, her whole face crinkling with a wide smile. ‘I hear you’ve been offering bribes to the nurses for one.’

‘I’ll pay you anything you want,’ said Laurent breathlessly. _God I actually am considering kissing you. Jesus._

‘Laurent you don’t owe me anything,’ said the professor. _Well that’s a relief, thank fuck for that._ ‘I am just so happy to see you up and about! This is brilliant, you are brilliant! I shall be coming weekly to see how you are progressing, keep it up.’

‘Thank you,’ said Laurent, feeling something very close to happiness at the thought of having a cup of tea.

As the professor and Abi were leaving, Abi paused at the door, ‘Just press the button if you need anything Laurent, and once Damen arrives I’ll get him to bring you a cuppa, how about that?’

‘That sounds perfect,’ replied Laurent, he meant the tea. Not the nurse who was going to bring it to him. _Not at all_.

 

Damen arrived just over forty five minutes later- not that Laurent was watching the clock or anything- opening the door to Laurent’s room carefully as he had his file wedged under one arm and a plastic cup-holder of tea in his hands.

‘Good afternoon!’ he said cheerily, and then in a sing-song voice, ‘Look what I’ve got for youuu,’

‘Shut up and give me the t-tea,’ said Laurent. His tone slightly ruined by the stutter. _I’ve been waiting ages in this fucking chair for you to turn up and bring me tea. You don’t know how long it’s been….stupid cheery man._

‘I see,’ said Damen moving steadily across the room and pulling the wheeled table out with his free hand so it could be pushed in front of Laurent. With some skill he managed to not spill the drink or drop the file. ‘I see how it is. We are now merely the bringers of tea, not caregivers, not trained nurses, just merely vessels whose only purpose is to bring you sustenance.’

‘Why ever did you think it was anything else?’ asked Laurent, watching the cup hungrily as it came into reach.

‘Sustenance in the form of tea and yoghurt,’ said Damen with a smirk.

‘Fucking yoghurt,’ muttered Laurent. This caused Damen to laugh heartily as he set the cup down on the table. Laurent pulled his hands out from under the table and settled them on the plastic surface. His hands reached to cradle the tiny cup of tea.

‘You need a hand?’ asked Damen as he put Laurent’s file down on the bedside cabinet.

Laurent looked at the tea speculatively. It now seemed a long way from there to his mouth. Gingerly and carefully he clasped the little cup holder and started the lift it. Damen hovered with a hand just in case, but Laurent managed to bring the cup to his lips and take a glorious sip. It was _heaven_.

As he continued to sip his tea, Damen started to move around the room checking the machines Laurent was still hooked up to.

‘I like the hair,’ he said offhandedly. Laurent hid his smile, but he felt warm inside. _It’s just the tea._

‘It suits you.’ _This tea is far too warm._ Laurent ‘mmm’d’ in response.

Damen continued Laurent’s observations saving the blood pressure and pulse until last so Laurent wouldn’t be interrupted from his tea. Laurent reluctantly set the cup down so Damen could get to a free arm.

‘And you’re sitting up in a chair,’ said Damen jovially, with two fingers on the inside of Laurent’s wrist.

‘Well observed,’ said Laurent, but Damen was not deterred by the bite in his tone. _Idiot._ He cheerily continued, ‘It’s no small achievement. You should be proud of yourself. Sat in a chair, had a haircut, drinking tea…bet you feel a lot more human now?’

‘I feel a lot more myself,’ Laurent admitted. Damen beamed. Everyone seemed to be smiling at him today. It was slightly unnerving; _I’m not used to people being this…nice._.

Damen finished writing up Laurent’s observations in his file as Laurent continued to sip at his tea. His mind wandered a little and his eyes fell out of focus as he started to feel very sleepy.

‘Can I go back to bed?’ he asked Damen quietly. His tea was feeling heavy in his hands.

‘What?’ said Damen looking up from the paperwork, ‘Oh yeah sure, hang on a sec buddy and I’ll help you.’

This was enough to startle Laurent more awake. ‘ _Buddy?’_ Laurent said scathingly. _Good grief, where does he get these terms from?_

‘What? You don’t like it?’

‘ _No,’_ said Laurent emphatically. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever been anyone’s _buddy.’_

 _‘_ Well there’s a first time for everything,’ said Damen, putting the cap back on his pen.

‘You are not calling me buddy,’ said Laurent flatly.

‘Okay, okay!’ laughed Damen. _Does he take anything seriously?_

But the nurse didn’t press it any further and he came over to help Laurent out the armchair. With forethought he put an arm around Laurent’s back, so Laurent had his arm around Damen’s shoulder. Damen’s left hand snaked around Laurent’s back and pressed into his other side, bracing.

‘Now, we’re going to go slowly, okay? I’ve got you, but you need to use your legs,’ said Damen and he rocked Laurent forward carefully until Laurent’s bent knees began to straighten.

‘Oh,’ moaned Laurent quietly, as he felt his whole body begin to tremble. ‘Damen, Damen, _wait!’_

 _‘_ What’s up?’ said Damen seemingly unperturbed but still, he’d stopped.

‘I don’t t-think…I can’t…my legs,’ Laurent felt himself beginning to panic. He felt like he was going to pitch forward and go flying. He had visions of wires and tubes ripping out, he could almost feel himself hitting the floor. _Oh shit, shit, shit._

‘You’re fine, I’ve got you,’

‘No, no, no, I _can’t, I can’t.’_

 _‘_ Laurent, you can, I’ve got you, I’ve got most of your weight okay?’ Damen spoke calmly. ‘You’re not going to fall. I’m not going to let you.’

‘Bu-but, the wires-‘

‘They’re not in the way, you’re fine. Now, come on, we’ll go slowly okay. Slide one foot forward….that’s it…that’s great. Now the other one, slide it along the ground…..perfect! Look at you, you’re walking.’

 _This isn’t walking,_ thought Laurent _. I’m like a geriatric_. He wanted to protest but he didn’t have any spare breath. He felt like he was running a race _._ His hand right hand was clenching Damen’s shoulder so tight it must be hurting him, but Damen didn’t seemed to mind. Laurent’s left hand was over Damen’s large, warm one on his left side. Together, with lots of encouragement from the nurse they managed to shuffle Laurent over to the bed.

‘Now we turn,’ said Damen, pivoting Laurent on the spot so that he could sit back on the bed. ‘Gently, gently, you’ve got to bend you’re knees, slowly…slowly…that’s it! Well done!’

‘Oh dear lord,’ said Laurent as his bottom touched the soft bed. Damen chuckled as he disentangled himself from Laurent. He bent low and gently lifted Laurent’s legs so that they were resting on the bed too and Laurent could lay back on the pillows. _Thank fuck. I’m never leaving this bed again._

Laurent was out of breath and panting. Damen turned his oxygen up a little.

‘That…was so hard,’ groaned Laurent, his heart sinking. It had been so much more difficult than the morning when the two nurses had helped him into the chair. _I don’t think I can do that again._

‘I know bud- Laurent,’ said Damen as he corrected himself. He was busy sorting out the covers so Laurent was tucked back under them. The yellow blanket on top. ‘You’ve used up a lot of energy today, even just sitting. You’ve used a lot of muscles that haven’t had to do anything for a long time. It is hard. But it will get easier.’

‘Will it?’ asked Laurent, failing to see that it would. Everything ached.

‘Sure it will,’ said Damen smiling. There was a soft pause, ‘Now, do you want your yoghurt now or later?’

 _You have got to be fucking kidding me. ‘_ Bugger off,’ said Laurent closing his eyes.

Damen unperturbed, chuckled, ‘I’ll bring it along later then. Shall I dim the lights?’

‘Yes please,’ said Laurent and before he knew it he was asleep before the nurse had even left the room.

 

***

 

Over the course of the next two days, the nurses on the ward got Laurent to sit in the chair for longer periods of time. However, instead of seeing it as the huge achievement it was, Laurent became more sullen and irritable as the week drew on.

‘He outright just snapped at me this morning,’ said Nik as he was giving his handover to Damen who was taking over his shift. ‘He’s got a surprisingly vicious mouth on him.’

‘He’s got a bit of a reputation,’ said Damen, thinking back to when he’d done some digging on Laurent’s past.

‘It’s just so at odds with- well…he’s got the face of an angel, but –well, I guess looks aren’t everything,’ contemplated Nik. ‘I give you fair warning. Although he might be better with you I don’t know.’

Damen just shrugged and went about his ward duties, checking on each of his patients. Molly wasn’t in the ward today, she’d gone out to the hospital restaurant with her mum and family. Short trips out of the ward were really helping everyone prepare for getting her home for Christmas. Damen left Laurent until last, as he was by far his most demanding patient now that he was awake.

He made sure to bring a cup of tea with him. _It’s not a bribe for good behaviour….well maybe it is._

‘Good afternoon Laurent,’ he said as he entered the room. Laurent was sat up in the armchair, and his scowl was the first thing Damen saw. _Ah…_

 _‘_ I’ve brought you some tea,’ he said, holding out the cup as an offering.

‘No,’ said Laurent sharply, ‘No that’s not what I asked for,’

‘Sorry?’ said Damen confused, but then-

‘Audin, you’re my family’s lawyer, I am asking you to represent me.’ That’s when Damen spotted the ward phone laying on the table, it was on speaker and Damen heard a man’s voice come from the phone. Suddenly, Laurent’s earlier words made sense.

‘Laurent I’m sorry, but I can’t-‘

‘What do you mean you _can’t?’_ asked Laurent dangerously. His face was all angled and sharp. Blonde hair which had been soft around his face the other day was tucked severely behind his ears. Blue eyes were staring at the phone. ‘You’re my lawyer, you do what I pay you to do.’

‘Laurent, you- I- um…I don’t know how to say this but, um, you can’t afford me.’

‘ _What?’_ exclaimed Laurent, looking insulted. ‘Audin do you not know who you are speaking to? In what situation would I not have the money to afford you? You _know_ my net worth. You know money isn’t an issue.’

Damen just stared at Laurent. He couldn’t quite believe Laurent had actually pulled the ‘do you know who I am?’ card. He stood there awkwardly as Laurent carried on berating the lawyer on the other end of the phone.

‘Laurent, Laurent, please listen… you don’t _understand-‘_

 _‘Understand?_ No, you don’t understand _!_ Did you even think about what this is like for me?! Have _you_ been in a coma for the past year?! _’_ Laurent was yelling now. This was not good for his blood pressure. Damen set down the tea and strode over and picked up the phone, the consequence of which was Laurent turning all his fury on Damen. But before he could get a word out, Damen spoke.

‘Calm down,’ he said in a measured tone. ‘You’re getting too worked up-‘

Laurent’s blue eyes glittered dangerously and he took in a deep breath. Damen fully expected him to start shouting at him, but then, after a pause Laurent seemed to deflate as he breathed out. He brought his bony fingers to his forehead.

He muttered, ‘You’re right. _Fuck,_ you’re right.’ Damen watched him breathe in and out, slow breaths for almost a minute.

‘Hello? Hello?’ there was still the lawyer on the phone.

Laurent stretched out a hand for the device. ‘Give it back. I won’t lose my temper again,’

Damen looked at him warily, but given Laurent did seem a lot more controlled now, he set the phone back down on the table. _God help the poor man on the end of the phone._

‘Audin? Yes hello,’ said Laurent, his voice slightly clipped, but otherwise reasonable. ‘Please can you explain what is the problem? Tell me why you cannot be my lawyer.’

‘Do you want your tea?’ asked Damen in a whisper. Laurent nodded to him and Damen passed him the cup. He made to leave the room, to give Laurent some privacy but Laurent covered the phone and said ‘Stay…you can do my checks.’

‘You sure?’

‘Yes,’ said Laurent and went back to listening to the phone. The lawyer was bumbling on about a few things and then he said ‘But you’re uncle has cut you off-‘

‘ _What?’_ said Laurent, shock across his face. Damen hadn’t moved from where he was stood. He was to distracted by the conversation taking place before him. _What’s that about his uncle?_

‘Um….yes…well…um…you see he got power of attorney for you-‘

‘No…’ breathed Laurent, horror on his face, ‘ _No,_ Auguste had that, my brother was the one-‘

‘No, you’re wrong,’ interrupted Audin, the lawyer, ‘Your uncle was named as your attorney, I’ve seen the documents-‘

‘Then they’re wrong!’ cried Laurent. Damen stepped forward, but Laurent held up a hand and took a few breaths, ‘No, Audin,’ he continued but this time with more control, ‘Listen to me, that is wrong. I _never_ consented to have my uncle be my attorney.’

‘Well I’m sorry Laurent, but the legal documents state otherwise. Legally, you uncle is your attorney and he’s in charge of your assets, your money. And he has not authorised access to those for you. So unless _he_ pays me to be your lawyer. I cannot represent you.’

‘But can’t you see? This is blatant abuse of power,’ said Laurent, anguish coming into his tone now.

‘Laurent, I’m sorry. But my hands are tied.’

Laurent didn’t bother to finish the conversation, he just hung up the phone. He put his head in his hands, elbows leaning on the table. He looked a picture of despair. Damen’s heart went out to him. He wanted to help but he wasn’t sure what to do. This seemed beyond the help he could offer. He couldn’t be cheery and fix this with a cup of tea or some pain meds.

‘Laurent?’ he asked carefully. Laurent made a small noise but didn’t lift his head. ‘What’s going on? Why do you need a lawyer? Can I help?’

Laurent unfurled himself slowly and sat back in the armchair. He sighed heavily and at once Damen was transported back weeks to when Laurent had been pale and ill and drawn. It was a reminder of how far his patient had come, but how he was still so vulnerable.

‘A detective is coming in an hour. He’s going to take my full statement. I wanted a lawyer. I’ve been trying to get hold of Audin all morning, and I finally do and-‘ Laurent cut himself off, grinding his jaw in frustration. ‘And I find my uncle has power of attorney, that I have nothing- no money, no assets- and- _fuck-_ I don’t…’ his voice went very small, ‘I don’t know what to do.’

‘Well,’ started Damen, desperately trying to think of something he could say to help, ‘You don’t need to worry about money. You don’t need money in hospital, we’re looking after you. So don’t worry about that right now, we have time to get that sorted.’

Laurent still looked worried but he nodded at what Damen was saying. _Keep on talking._

‘I could ring the detective?’ he offered. ‘Maybe he could come on another day?’

‘No. No it has to be _today,’_ insisted Laurent, he looked at Damen now. ‘I need to give the full details. I need to protect Nicaise. It…It has to be today’ His hands smoothed over the table in a self-calming gesture. ‘It’s fine, I’ll just have to do it without a lawyer.’

Suddenly Damen had an idea ‘You can have my lawyer,’ he said. He was pretty sure that was outside of his remit of being a caregiver. Nurses dealt with the physical, the medical. But he cared about Laurent, he wanted to do something, anything to help. And this was something he could offer. He could just  put the two in touch and anything from there on in was between Laurent and Makedon, Damen wasn’t a part of it. He wasn’t gaining anything from it, he didn’t think he was abusing his position as a nurse. He was acting in capacity of a friend.

Laurent stared at him. ‘You have lawyer?’ he asked incredulously.

‘Yeah for the assault charge,’ Damen said putting a hand to his neck and rubbing. Recognition flashed in Laurent’s eyes, ‘Of course,’ he apologised, ‘Sorry, I forgot. Of course you have a lawyer… God, t-this is such a mess.’

‘I’ll ring Makedon,’ said Damen.

‘Damen I can’t pay them,’ Laurent said quickly, ‘I literally have nothing,’

‘Don’t worry about that,’ said Damen. ‘He’s my father’s lawyer, he’s on retainer.’

‘Your father?’

‘He’s a business owner. Nothing as big as your family owns, but he has lawyers.’

‘Damen, I can’t possibly use your family’s lawyer-‘

‘Makedon is good. He’ll fight your corner for you. I trust him.’

Laurent looked at him helplessly and Damen would do anything to stop him looking like that. ‘I’ll ring Makedon,’ he said firmly.

 

Makedon impressively managed to turn up at the hospital five minutes before the police detective was due to show.

‘Damen my boy!’ he boomed, striding past the security guards and onto the ward. Damen greeted the older man with a hug. Makedon was a short fellow, but broad and stocky, with arms that could crush you in a bear hug- which was exactly what he was attempting to do to Damen.

‘Hi Makedon,’ he wheezed.

He’d explained the situation on the phone and had been more than relieved to hear that Makedon would sit in the interview with Laurent. When Damen had said that Laurent currently had no access to any money because of his uncle the lawyer had muttered a few choice swear words and had unquestioningly agreed to help out with no mention of a fee.

Damen led Makedon to Laurent’s room and made the introductions. It was clear that Laurent wasn’t quite sure what to think of the genial but brusque lawyer. Damen had to supress several grins as he went about conducting Laurent’s usual observations. Laurent was a savvy conversationalist, mild stutters and stammers aside. Makedon was also of a similar canny vein, and listening to the two of them dance around pleasantries and get a measure of each other was thoroughly entertaining.

‘And so Damen’s been doing a fine job of looking after you then!’ announced Makedon, ‘I hear he brought you back to life.’

‘If only to prolong the suffering,’ replied Laurent, ‘His nonsensical chatter could drive anyone to the edge.’

Makedon’s booming laugh filled the room. ‘Damen I like this boy,’ he said loudly, ‘He’s as prickly as a hedgehog!’

Laurent looked mortally offended and glared at Damen when he snorted in response as he put the blood pressure cuff on Laurent’s still-too-skinny arm. _He needs to eat more_. Damen made a mental note to check Laurent’s nutrition plan.

He hadn’t quite finished taking Laurent’s pulse when there was a knock at the door.

‘Come in come in!’ cried out Makedon. The door opened and the police detective entered the room.

Damen actually felt the moment Laurent panicked because his pulse suddenly rocketed up.

‘Good afternoon,’ said the detective, ‘My name is Detective Guion. I’m here to take Laurent’s statement.’ Guion was a rotund man of average height, in his fifties Damen would guess. He was dressed in a dark uniform he had his badge hanging on a chain around his neck.

Laurent was sat perfectly still, the only thing betraying him was his pulse thumping under Damen’s fingers, fast and insistent.

‘Afternoon, afternoon,’ called out Makedon pleasantly. ‘Come sit down Detective.’

‘Who are you?’ asked Detective Guion. He came forward cautiously, looking from Damen to Laurent to Makedon.

‘I am Makedon, I am Mr DeVere’s lawyer,’ said Makedon, ‘This is his nurse, Damen, who will also be present for the interview this afternoon.’

‘I…I was not aware Laurent had a lawyer,’ said Guion slowly, but it was Damen he was eyeing up warily. Damen gave him a level look back, meeting his gaze unfalteringly. _You can’t intimidate me mate._

‘That won’t be a problem Detective will it?’ asked Makedon shrewdly.

‘No, no it won’t,’ said Guion but he looked unnerved.

Laurent clenched his hand into a fist and Damen realised he was still holding onto Laurent’s wrist despite him having lost track of measuring his pulse against the clock. He released his fingers from around Laurent’s wrist, but stayed close, hovering.

‘Then by all means proceed Detective,’ said Makedon pulling up a spare chair for Guion.

Guion sat down somewhat reluctantly. It was obvious to everyone in the room, he’d not expected Laurent to have company. Makedon was busy rummaging in his briefcase. He pulled out a notepad, a pen and a dictaphone. Everyone stared at the device which Makedon placed on the table in front of Laurent.

Damen noticed that Laurent still had not said a word since the police detective had entered the room. He was sat, back straight and upright in the armchair, face expressionless. Damen wished he knew what Laurent was thinking. He had a suspicion that Laurent knew the detective, because why the sudden spike in heart rate when he had come into the room?

Makedon noticed everyone’s fascination with the dictaphone. ‘Oh don’t worry about my little recorder,’ he said genially, ‘This is for my record only. I’m sure the Detective here has his own device?’

Guion shifted in his seat. ‘No,’ he said stiffly. ‘I was going to take a notes for a written statement.’

‘You should invest in one of these my man!’ said Makedon patting the device with a hand. ‘So much more accurate than _notes.’_

Damen hid a smirk behind a hand over his mouth. Makedon knew exactly what he was doing. He knew Guion had been planning on pouncing on Laurent, and so was doing everything possible to protect Laurent and antagonise Guion, all with an air of charming amiability.

‘Now, Laurent, as I understand it,’ said Makedon, turning his attention to Laurent who was watching Guion silently. ‘You want to give a full account and history of your Uncle’s abuse towards you, is that correct?’

‘Yes’ said Laurent quietly.

‘Now, given that this case is of a sensitive nature, the detective here really shouldn’t be taking a written statement. He should take a recording. But by some _genuine_ accident I’m sure, he’s left his recording device at the office.’ Makedon’s emphasis on the word ‘genuine’ was clear to everyone in the room, he didn’t believe it was true for one second,  ‘So it’s good fortune for us all that I have my own. And this is encrypted by the way, so Laurent, your statement cannot be altered or deleted. I will make sure to send a copy to the detective’s office as soon as we’re done here.’

‘There really is no need sir,’ protested Guion, but Makedon, silenced him with a wave of his hand. ‘Detective, Detective, it’s fine. You know the rules same as I. We’re all good to go.’

Damen sent a quick prayer to whoever was listening to thank them for the wonder that was Makedon. He was so grateful he’d thought to ring the lawyer. _Unbelievably grateful._

‘Now, I will turn the device on in a moment Laurent, but as I am sure the detective will tell you. Everything you say here will count as evidence for prosecution and if the case goes to court it will be used as evidence there okay? So it’s really important you give us the full account, in as much detail as possible.’

Damen watched as Laurent swallowed and nodded at Makedon, he seemed to be gathering his resolve, perhaps encouraged by the lawyer clearly fighting his corner for him.

‘We in this room are not here to judge, we are here to support you as you make this statement. You can pause or ask for a break at any time. We know that this might well be difficult but you are the one in control here.’

Damen felt a swell of emotion and appreciation for Makedon. Usually the man was bold and brash, but he seemed to be able to say just the right words at the right time, to encourage Laurent, and to offer support.

Before anyone said anything he thought he’d just chip in quickly, ‘Do you need anything Laurent?’

Laurent looked at Damen for the first time since Guion had turned up. Damen tried not to get lost in the wide, blue eyes. ‘No,’ he said quietly, ‘Just…stay here.’

There was so much said but unspoken in that look he gave Damen. It said, _please don’t judge me_ , it said _don’t pity me_ , it said _support me_.’

‘I’m not going anywhere,’ said Damen firmly. Wanting Laurent to understand that _I won’t judge you, I won’t pity you, I am here for you._ He wanted to reach out and give Laurent’s shoulder or hand a reassuring squeeze, but he couldn’t. 

Instead, he went and sat on the desk pushed against the wall in the room. From this vantage point he was behind where Guion was sat opposite Laurent, but was facing Laurent and could watch and offer gestures and expressions of support literally from behind Guion’s back. He could tell it unsettled the detective, sitting behind him, and that gave Damen some vindictive pleasure in all of this.

Makedon turned the recorder on and Guion began to ask his questions, inviting Laurent to start from the beginning. Under the watchful gaze of Makedon, Guion did seem to be following the right line of questioning, Makedon only occasionally contributing, or saying things like ‘Don’t answer that Laurent, what the Detective _means to ask is….’_

But still, it was a wretched, gruelling three-hour account of all the horrors Laurent had gone through as a pre-teen and teenager at the hands of his uncle. Laurent recounted it all with a stony face and flat tone.

Damen wanted to punch something. Preferably the uncle, but a wall would do. It was disgusting what that man had done. What an utterly revolting and repulsive human being. Damen felt quite sick, like he had when Laurent had first told him his uncle had sexually assaulted him. But he forced himself not to show any signs of being disturbed. He didn’t want Laurent to misinterpret and think Damen was disgusted at him. That was absolutely not the case.

No, Damen was coming to admire the man in front of him. The man that for so many years had been abused and harmed by his monster of an uncle, was now taking back control, was now sharing his experiences, horrific thought they were, in order to ensure that justice was done and that another little boy would not go through the same treatment.

Damen didn’t know if Nicaise had been abused by Richard DeVere, but thank fuck that monster was never going to be allowed to go near him again.

He was so proud of Laurent.

He told him this after the detective had slunk out of the room, Makedon hot on his heels, badgering him about getting details of where to send the recording and assuring Guion he would be following the police progress on the case very carefully. Damen saw them out and shut the door firmly  behind them.

‘Get me into bed,’ said Laurent quietly.

Damen didn’t bother helping Laurent stand or shuffle, he simply scooped up Laurent from where he’d crumpled slightly in the chair once the other two men had left- as if he’d been holding himself upright through sheer force of his will- and carried him the two steps to the bed.

As Damen spent a few moments tucking Laurent under the covers, making sure his pillows were at the right angle and de-tangling the various trailing wires. Laurent’s breathing started to escalate.

‘Laurent… hey Laurent you need to control your breathing, okay?’ Damen said, coming to stand close to the bed. ‘You need to take some deep breaths for me, can you do that?’

Laurent shook his head, his breathing getting quicker and shallower.

‘Is it because I touched you?’ asked Damen, suddenly questioning everything he’d done in the past two minutes. ‘Do you need me to ask first? Hey, Laurent? Laurent come on, slow it down mate, you can do it’.

Laurent shook his head again, his hands folding in front of his chest, as he tried to curl up. ‘It’s because…. _he…_ touched me.’

‘Laurent he’s not here. He’s not here, he’s never coming back here. He’s not anywhere near you or Nicaise okay?’ Damen leaned on the side of the bed, bending down to try and look into Laurent’s face which was turning into the pillow.

Damen crouched down to get a better angle, trying to meet the blue eyes with his own. _Come on, come on. Please look at me._ ‘Laurent, mate, I’m serious now, you need to slow your breathing okay? Look at me?’

Laurent screwed his eyes shut.

‘Look at me,’ said Damen a bit sterner than he’d have liked but he needed to pull Laurent back from this panic attack. Laurent chanced a glance at him, but that’s all Damen needed. ‘Great,’ he said with a smile, ‘That’s great, keep on looking at me, now, can you breath in like me? Breathe in……and out…..come on again, in……..and out……that’s it, keep going….’

It took a while, with several false starts but eventually, Laurent’s breathing slowed to a more normal pace.

Damen kept murmuring words of encouragement and praise. ‘You did amazing this afternoon, no, you really did. I’m so proud of you, we all are. Me, Makedon, Nik, everyone here. Even if they don’t know the details, we’re all so proud of how well you’re doing.’

‘I’m not doing well,’ sniffed Laurent into the pillow. It was only because Damen was so close, kneeling on the floor now, that he even caught the words.

‘What?!’ he said incredulously, ‘What are you talking about? Laurent look at you! You’re awake, you’re talking, you’re eating, you’re nearly walking practically!’

Laurent glared at Damen’s blatant exaggeration on that last point.

‘Okay nearly walking’ Damen conceded. But it wasn’t enough to dispel Laurent’s woe.

‘I didn’t protect him,’ said Laurent, ‘I should have done better. It’s all my fault!’

Damen knew he was talking about Nicaise. ‘Laurent it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault if anything happened to Nicaise. Your uncle is an abuser, he’s the one who is to blame, who needs stopping.’

‘But I should have-‘

‘You’ve been in a coma!’ cried Damen, ‘You were in a serious accident Laurent, you had major head trauma and you’ve been in a coma for a nearly a year! You _are not_ to blame.’

Laurent whispered something but Damen didn’t catch it. ‘Sorry,’ he said, ‘Can you say that again I didn’t hear-‘

‘It’s a year,’ Laurent repeated, ‘It’s a year today since the accident. Since my father and brother- _Auguste-‘_ Laurent’s voice broke and then he was crying, sobbing into the pillow and his breathing escalating again.

Damen felt his stomach fall away. He was so stupid. _He was so stupid._ Of course it was a year to the day, he had read Laurent’s file, he knew what had happened. _Oh…God…._

Damen didn’t have the words, didn’t have any words. But he still tried, ‘Laurent-‘

Laurent’s whole body was shuddering with sobs. _What can I do?_

‘I’m here, I’m here,’ said Damen, ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

And he didn’t.

Damen ended up staying well past the end of his shift. He stayed well past the end of the next shift too.

He talked when he could, trying his best to stop Laurent’s breathing escalating too much, getting him to control his oxygen flow. Talking him down from several heightened spells over the course of the night.

When he couldn’t talk he asked whether Laurent wanted to hold his hand. Laurent’s fingers snaked out from under the covers and gripped his hand so hard Damen had to remind Laurent not to cut off the circulation. He let Laurent control the touch, never pushing or pressing, just offering support and comfort and letting Laurent decide if he wanted to take it.

There came a point where Laurent dragged Damen’s hand to his shoulder and Damen had moved around the bed and sat on the mattress, stroking Laurent’s shoulder up and down in a soothing gesture, trying to get Laurent to settle and calm. After a while Laurent had turned over onto his back and looked up at Damen saying ‘Don’t let me fall asleep.’

‘Why wouldn’t I let you fall asleep?’ Damen had asked, confused.

Laurent had been silent for a long time, before saying ‘I’m scared if I fall asleep, I won’t wake up again.’

Damen thought his heart might break at the desolate, scared tone of Laurent. _God, I just want to take your pain away._

‘I’m not going to stop you from falling asleep,’ he’d replied, ‘But I will be here to wake you up.’

Eventually, finally, Laurent drifted off through sheer exhaustion, having cried himself out. Damen watched his chest rise and fall for several long minutes and didn’t realise the moment he too fell asleep.

And so, at half-past seven in the morning, Damen, dozing in the armchair by the side of Laurent’s bed, was startled awake by Nik quietly shaking him.

‘What?!’ he said, sitting up bleary-eyed.

‘Sssshhhhh’ said Nik, gesturing for Damen to be quiet. ‘He’s still asleep.’

Damen looked over to where Laurent was curled up, wires snaking across the pillow and sheets, sleeping peacefully, no lines or tears marring his face. Damen didn’t think he’d seen anything so beautiful. _God I am so sleep deprived right now._

‘They told me you’d been here all night,’ said Nik quietly, going to the window and peering through the curtains- it was still dark outside so he didn’t bother pulling them back. ‘They said he was really upset and wouldn’t settle down.’

‘He did eventually,’ said Damen.

‘Sleeping tablet?’ asked Nik.

Damen shook his head, ‘No I just stayed with him and talked him down from a couple of panic attacks.’

‘ _A couple?’_

Damen sighed, ‘He’s been through some real dark shit Nik. And it was a year yesterday since the accident, so I’m not even surprised. I didn’t think sedation was a healthy solution, he needs to work through some of that grief.’

‘I guess,’ said Nik contemplative. ‘Are you gonna wake him? And are you actually going to go home at some point? Pretty sure you’re now clocking illegal hours.’

‘I’ll wake him up now,’ said Damen stretching his arms out and yawning. Several muscles popped in his back. _These chairs are not comfy. No wonder Laurent doesn’t enjoy sitting here._

Once he’d stopped stretching and Nik was making moves to start Laurent’s morning observations. Damen leaned over to Laurent’s bed and gently place a hand on his shoulder.

Laurent woke-up slowly, eyes blinking several times as they grew accustomed to the fluorescent hospital ceiling lights. He stared at Damen.

‘Morning sleepyhead,’ said Damen with a smile, ‘Time to start a new day.’

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Readers!
> 
> Im sorry it's been a while. My health has not been very good, both physically and mentally. And I am so, so, beyond grateful for all the lovely, kind, supportive comments you all left on the last chapter. Telling me to go look after myself because my health comes first, they were all so lovely thank you. You are all so lovely thank you. And thanks to eveyrone reading and leaving kudos as well. I love you all. I will try and get back to all the comments over the next few days. x
> 
> I finally feel like things are now moving in a more positive direction so Im happy I feel able to continue writing.
> 
> Oh my goodness!! Cannot believe we are HALFWAY through! wow!  
> Plus this has got to be the longest chapter so far, 7000+ words?!. This is what happens when I stick to the chapter plan, guys, oh my god.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you are all well, see you next time!  
> Next chapter: Laurent is still grieving and Nik goes to meet Jord.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurent takes some steps forward.

It was December and whilst the outside world was excitedly counting down the days until Christmas, on the long term intensive ward things continued much the same. After the days of drama and adrenaline, Damen thought that everyone was glad things had settled back into a normal routine.

There were still the chats about Christmas shopping, the ‘Oh my God, how am I going to entertain the kids for two weeks,’ the stresses about Christmas turkey’s and diets and the ‘fuck it, I’m going to drink all holiday’ from the nurses, as well as an increasing amount of tinsel accumulating on the ward. But the reality was, most of the patients were going to be in hospital for Christmas and a significant proportion wouldn’t even know it was a special time of the year.

The few exceptions were Laurent and Molly.

With Molly, all the efforts were to get her home in time for Christmas with her family. She still needed help with things like eating, going to the toilet and getting dressed but those sorts of things could be managed at home, with daily visits from nurses as well as Fiona becoming her full-time carer. Recently, she’d been excited to get out and about in a wheelchair and when Abi wasn’t around Damen, Nikandros and Erasmus had races up and down the corridor. Erasmus in one chair with Damen pushing and Nikandros propelling Molly in hers.

When the first race started, Laurent’s bell had dinged incessantly and Damen had rushed into his room to get greeted by a monumental scowl, but nothing else that would suggest his patient was in distress.

‘Laurent what’s wrong?’ Damen had panted.

‘What the _hell_ is going on?’ Laurent had demanded. To which Damen had sheepishly replied that they were trying out their own version of wacky races in the ward corridor. Laurent had raised an eyebrow at that, and in return for Laurent not dobbing them in to the senior nursing staff, Damen had managed to get Laurent into a chair and out into the corridor in order that he could be the officiant of the whole malarkey.

No amount of persuading could get Laurent to take part in the actual race, and besides, even if he’d wanted to, he still had too many wires hooking him up to various machines. But Damen thought it was just nice that he could sit in his chair, by the door of his room and watch what was going on. Those rooms, whilst good for recuperating, could also be very isolating. Damen felt it was good for Laurent to see Molly and how well she was doing, as he thought Laurent could use that as motivation and encouragement, that he too, could one day be well enough to go home.

As it was, Laurent was still quite far off from that.

He was beginning to eat more, although knife and fork co-ordination was proving hard and Damen had spent twenty minutes trying to convince Laurent that it was okay to have Damen spoon-feed him the soft fish pie that had been on the day’s menu. And anyway, Laurent wasn’t eating enough solid food to justify the removal of the feeding tube. The doctors would only remove it once Laurent could prove he was able to substitute all the liquid food for solid food. And no matter how much Laurent tried to protest that he’d never eaten that much from _before_ he was in a coma, the doctors wouldn’t budge. Laurent had become sullen then and refused the cooked food offered to him for several days until Damen had had enough of the tantrum and sat him down for some harsh words.

‘Laurent, I know you’re fed up, but you need to start eating solid food again okay?’

Laurent ignored him.

‘Don’t you miss the taste?’ said Damen, ‘What’s your favourite food, I can call down to the kitchens and get them to make you something special.’

‘Oh _yes,’_ said Laurent scornfully, ‘Special in the way t-that it’s all nutritionally balanced and makes sure all of the food groups are equally represented, and t-thus cancelling out any t-taste and appeal the food might once have had.’

Damen winced at the tone, ‘Laurent, it is important that the food is good for you, it’s important that it gives you the right nutrients and things. You need the energy from the food to then start to be able to do things. You’ve been struggling to sit up recently, but this would be improved if you had the right vitamins and minerals and calories, so that your body could then turn that energy into something useful like sitting up, and walking.’

Laurent scowled.

‘Not to mention,’ continued Damen, ‘I know you’re even more desperate to get rid of the nappy and the catheter. If you could get up to use the commode, then there’d be no need for those things anymore. _And’_ Damen ploughed on, determined to convince Laurent and not caring how graphic things got, ‘I can also promise you that things would be…more regular and….less sloppy, if you were having real, solid, _fibrous_ food.’

To his credit Laurent didn’t blush or look embarrassed like most people would at any mention of socially taboo subjects like diarrhoea and urgency, but Damen knew by now that Laurent could school his facial expressions with iron-control. However, when met with a stony face, Damen did not back down, this was _important_.

‘Fine,’ he said reaching to ring the assistance bell, ‘let’s forget nutritiously balanced, and go for sheer amount of calories. I’m not above bribery for this Laurent, what take-away do you want?’

Finally, Laurent’s façade cracked; ‘Take-away?’

‘Yup,’ Damen replied, as Nikandros appeared at the door to the room. ‘Indian? Chinese? Fish and Chips? Pizza?’

‘Aww mate I haven’t had fish and chips in ages,’ said Nikandros, leaning against the doorjamb and looking fondly into the distance.

Laurent had looked between the two of them for several long moments before finally saying  ‘Chinese. And it’d better be good.’

Damen let out a heavy breath in relief, before cracking the widest grin at his patient.

 

 

*~*

In the run up to Christmas Laurent found that things were settling into a routine despite the festive season. He learnt the shift patterns of the nurses, the menus of food,  the times for cleaning and making the beds which coincided with washing and dressing the patients. As well as the morning rounds of the doctors, the afternoon rounds of the physiotherapists and other specialists.

It became tedious very quickly.

It was probably more boring for Laurent because he knew he was not going to be getting out of the hospital any time soon. All he had to look forward to was yet another awkward bed bath or another bland, flavourless dinner.

The nurses and staff were trying his best and he was trying his hardest too, but it didn’t seem to matter the amount of effort, progress was still slow.

Laurent was frustrated. His brain, no longer sluggish and cloudy was alert but his body was almost laughably not. He couldn’t even hold a spoon for Christ’s sake!

As the days and weeks progressed, Laurent found his mood was more often than not very low, and it was becoming harder and harder to have a positive outlook on things.

It wasn’t a surprise then that his effort dropped too. Day after monotonous day, it all dragged on. Nothing was going to change. There was nothing to differentiate the days from one another apart from the absence of Damen or the sometimes silly antics of the nurses with Molly.

Laurent wasn’t sure how he felt about Molly. He knew he was supposed to feel happy for her. He should be looking her and feeling encouraged, motivated to improve. But it was so difficult. He looked at her and felt jealous, resentful. He was just reminded of his own stranded situation.

He felt old and alone. She was so young, she had her mum come in everyday, sometimes aunties and cousins too. Laurent felt weary even though he’d been asleep for nearly a year and no one came to visit him.

Nicaise still couldn’t be persuaded to come to the hospital. Damen got sporadic updates from Jord, and from what he relayed to Laurent, he gathered the social worker was trying to convince Nicaise to visit, but the answer was consistently no.

Laurent didn't blame Nicaise. He knew what it was like to be infatuated with his uncle and then have it all come crashing down in confusion. Except Nicaise wouldn’t have to experience the drifting away of Richard, the disassociation and then the desperate clinging of a boy who had been cruelly, cruelly manipulated and didn’t realise _he_ , by virtue of being older and possessing traits of a fledgling man, through no fault of his own was the reason he was being repelled.

No, Nicaise would be broken-hearted and confused but at least he would get support and therapy in this situation. Laurent had had none of that.

Speaking of therapy, Laurent woke up from his post-lunch nap to find a counsellor sitting by his bed talking in a low voice to Damen who was performing Laurent's latest observations.

Things did not get off to a good start. Damen, who had apparently been quite worried about Laurent's fading effort and decreasing mood over the past few weeks had seemingly arranged for Laurent to see one of the hospital's counsellors in the naively optimistic view that it would help.

Laurent did not think that talking to a complete, unknown stranger would help in the slightest. And took no time or trouble in vocalising his objections...loudly.

Later that evening, after Laurent had sent away both the counsellor and Damen with an express wish for them both _never to return,_ he lay in bed reflecting that perhaps he hadn’t meant _everything_ he’d said.

It was more that Damen had organised this without Laurent's knowledge of it. He didn’t want to be surprised by something like this, he’d have preferred to have been consulted.

Objectively, Laurent knew he had a fuck-tonne of issues to deal with. So many that it seemed impossible to even begin. He was much more in favour of taking the easy route of simply squashing everything down and ignoring it until it burst out of him in yet another panic attack.

Laurent was glad Damen appeared to completely disregard his earlier command because the nurse came into his room when Laurent pressed his buzzer and sat with him and helped him with his breathing until he calmed down.

_So….I don’t think the suppressing everything and just ignoring it is proving to be an effective method...._

‘What’s going on in that head of yours?’ murmured Damen as he brushed back a strand of Laurent’s hair away from his sweaty face. Laurent fluttered his eyes closed at the gesture, it was nice. Damen seemed to notice and gently stroked some more wayward tendrils back and onto the pillow.

‘I know I’m a mess,’ confessed Laurent. He hadn't meant to be that forthright but maybe the soothing motion of fingers in his hair had coaxed it out of him.

‘A little bit of mess,’ agreed Damen.

‘Thanks,’ muttered Laurent sarcastically, but it was half-hearted; he knew Damen was just trying to be on his side.

‘Why did you reject the counsellor Laurent?’ asked Damen softly. ‘I honestly think it would be really great for you to talk to someone.’

‘Why can’t I just talk to you?’ mumbled Laurent, turning his face into the pillow. Damen swapped hands and picked away Laurent's hair from the other side of his face; uncovering his face so the nurse could meet his gaze.

‘Cos I’m not a trained professional,’ said Damen patiently. ‘I wouldn’t know the right questions to ask to get you to come to terms with things. I am here for you a hundred percent Laurent but I know where I am best giving you support and its in this, this physical support, not mental support.’

Laurent let of a hum of frustration into the pillow.

‘Its not easy. I know it’s not going to be easy but we can’t keep having these uncontrolled panic attacks Laurent. You’re spiralling and its not healthy. We’ve got to get you moving forwards. It won’t be quick, we all know that, but so long as it’s in a vague general direction of forwards then things will get better I promise you.’

Laurent bit his lip and gave a weak nod.

‘So what was the matter with the counsellor? Would you like someone different?’

There was a long pause of silence before Laurent shifted on the pillow so he could talk more freely.

‘I don’t- I didn’t- just it felt like....’ He looked at Damen, the nurse was just waiting patiently, ‘…It felt like you went behind my back without asking.’ Laurent finished.

Damen’s face was a picture of realisation.

‘Oh, Laurent I’m really sorry,’ he said, clearly genuine. ‘I guess I just wanted to arrange it all to make it easy and so you didn’t have to do anything-I know it’s not an excuse and I should have talked to you, I just hope you can understand.’

It was... kind of nice actually? The fact that Damen had recognised Laurent needed more support and had organised it all so Laurent didn’t have to. Laurent still would have liked to have been consulted but he knew that it would have been a long time before he'd  have come around to actually asking for help. Damen had cut the corner on that one.

Laurent gave Damen a weak smile. ‘You’re forgiven, just ask me first next time you get an idea like that.’

Damen nodded, ‘I will do,’ he promised, ‘so will you see the counsellor?’

Laurent let out a breath, he knew in his head that it was the right thing to do, but it was also the scary thing to do, the hard thing to do.

‘I’ll see the counsellor,’ he replied.

Damen beamed at him, ‘Yeah!’ he exclaimed, ‘Well done Laurent, you’re so brave!’

‘I don’t feel brave,’

‘But you _are,_ look at you, it’s a big thing to do, a big thing to say yes to, but wow Laurent I’m so proud of you.’

Laurent flushed; he couldn’t help it, the fear of facing up to his issues subsided somewhat with Damen’s faith in him, with his support. He found he liked making Damen proud.

Maybe he had found his motivation again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Readers!
> 
> It's been so long!  
> I know this chapter is quite short but I wanted to ease myself back into things a little bit. Hope you dont mind.
> 
> I have been away practicing a lot of self-care. I've not been great physically or mentally and needed to really just prioritise things like my health and my job. And health-wise? Im a bit like Laurent, slowly making steps in the right direction I hope. I have felt so much more myself in the past 2 days than in the past 2 months it's crazy. Work-wise? Ive made some really big acheivements professionally and am glad I put my focus into that.
> 
> Writing is a hobby for me and something I can only do when I get enjoyment out of it and when I have the time. Managing everything else in my life has left little time for writing, but maybe it can be higher up on my list of priorities as I got quite a bit of enjoyment writing this chapter.
> 
> Thank you all so much for all the wonderful, caring, thoughtful comments you guys have been leaving, I read them all, but they've got a bit out of hand so I probably wont be able to reply to everyone, at least not straight away. Thank you all so much for reading and offering your support for this fic and for myself, I cant tell you how much it means. thank you thank you thank you! x x x x 
> 
> Next chapter: We might be experiencing a different POV?! How exciting!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise has his world turned upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning to say there are explicit mentions of child abuse in this chapter. Also of children accessing and posessing adult material that they shouldnt be. Dont read if it's too much. The next chapter will likely get you caught up with everything anyway.

‘Now Nicaise, are you going to co-operate or do I have to get out a doll and we act things through with finger puppets?’

‘Stop treating me like a child!’

‘I will if you stop acting like one-‘

‘Officer-‘ cut in Jord, interrupting before the Policeman could finish. _Ahhh Mr Mediation…_ thought Nicaise as he sat arms and legs crossed on one of the discoloured armchairs in the common room of the foster home. ‘Officer, I don’t think taking that tone is going to help things.’

Nicaise rolled his eyes. _I really can’t be bothered for this._

‘Well, I’m sorry sir’-

Nicaise snorted. He didn’t think he’d heard anyone call Jord _sir_ before. It was as unsuited for him as well, a suit was. Jord was an exclusively jumper-over-a-wrinkled-shirt kind of guy. Trying too hard to be _youth_ in Nicaise’s opinion. ‘-But given that we’re under some time pressure here and this _young man-‘_  the words young and man were said in a tone that clearly betrayed that the police officer thought Nicaise wasn't anything more than a spoiled, petulant child. _Too bad I am._

‘-has so far called me several derogatory terms, the most polite being _bigot.’_

Nicaise smirked as he looked down and picked at the stuffing coming out of the chair.

The policeman carried on, ‘I’m unsure as to which tone you think would be appropriate given that I am a police officer and this young man is being extremely rude.’

‘You are a police officer,’ said Jord in his infuriatingly restrained tone, ‘But Nicaise is twelve and has been through an awful lot, he deserves some patience and understanding.’

Nicaise decided he didn’t want patience and understanding and was fed up of this already, _where did I leave my tablet? Maybe there’s a new episode of Game of Thrones I can watch….._ So he stood up and told the police officer where he could stick his doll before leaving the room.

He could hear Jord trying to calm the man down but as he climbed the stairs to his room, he heard the social worker yell after him ‘NICAISE! You and I WILL be having a chat about this later!’

‘Yeah whatever,’ muttered Nicaise as he slammed his room door behind him and wished Richard would hurry up and take him away from this skanky, miserable hole of hell.

 

 *~*

‘Oi! Pisshead.’ The words accompanied a quick knock on his door before Nathan barged in.

‘Why bother knocking if you were just going to come in anyway?’ said Nicaise without looking up  from where he was lying on his bed watching his tablet.

‘This is broken,’ said the belligerent teenager throwing an identical tablet at Nicaise.

‘What the fuck?’ yelped Nicaise, sitting up and grabbing the tablet from where it had hit his leg. Thank fuck it hadn’t hit the wall; there were already enough dents and it probably would have broken the tablet for real. Fucking hurt his leg though. _Fuck I hope it doesn’t bruise._

‘I said. It’s broken,’ repeated Nathan.

‘This was brand new two months ago,’ said Nicaise, holding the device up. Out of the corner of his eye he could at least one of the other children peering around his doorframe, as well as several suspiciously ajar bedroom doors. _No_ _fucking privacy in this place….get your own fucking entertainment. ‘_ It can’t possibly be broken, unless you broke it. You know the rules I wont replace anything that’s the fault of poor ownership.’

‘Listen to you, you little businessman,’ jeered Nathan, ‘Think you’re all good with running a black market in here. What makes you think you run this place?’

‘The fact that I’ve supplied nearly everyone in here with new fucking tech that’s what,’ said Nicaise. None of your shit parents could afford anything near as nice.’

‘Neither could yours,’ said Nathan his eyes narrowing.

‘Yeah well fuck you I have Richard,’ replied Nicaise.

‘Not what I heard,’ said Nathan. ‘I heard he killed someone and is now on the run from the police. He’s a fugitive.’

‘What’s a fugitive?’ came a voice from the door. It was Little-Harry; there were three Harrys in this fucking house.

‘Shut the fuck up’ snapped Nathan.

‘Little-Harry go back to your room,’ said Nicaise. He knew Nathan was on a short leash today and that collateral damage was likely if there were bystanders.

Nathan stomped a few steps towards the little boy, ‘Grown-ups are talking midget, so fuck off.’

But still the boy lingered. ‘Little-Harry just fuck off alright?’ said Nicaise, losing patience and glaring at him.

‘Fine,’ said Little-Harry in a long-suffering tone that no seven year-old should manage to pull off.

Nicaise turned back to Nathan, ‘Richard’s away on a business trip that’s all. Stop spreading fucking rumours.’

‘Fucking get me a new tablet then.’

‘It’s not broken,’ said Nicaise, turning the screen over in his hands and pressing the home button; he couldn’t see anything wrong with the device.

‘It wont connect to the internet.’

‘I cant help you if you’ve burned through all your data allowance looking at porn.’

‘You little-‘ Nathan lunged at Nicaise who flinched backwards on the bed, but it seemed all that Nathan wanted was the tablet. He mocked Nicaise, ‘Ooooh think I was going to hit you then? Not this time but watch it you little bitch.’

‘Lucky for you, next month’s allowance starts in three days,’ said Nicaise, ‘So if you can hold off having an inspired wank until then you’ll be okay. Unlucky for you, the police are currently sniffing around this place, looking for sexual predators.’

‘You’d fucking dare? I wouldn’t do something so disgusting. Touch a kid like that? You’re fucking twisted.’

‘Hide the porn Nathan,’ said Nicaise in a warning tone, ‘And wash you’re sheets, the cops’ll come with a blacklight I’m sure.’

‘Fucking cunt’ spat Nathan and stalked out of the room.

Nicaise let out a sigh, he’d lost his place in his episode now. ‘The rest of you hide your fucking porn!’ he yelled and wasn’t surprised to hear at least three doors on the corridor quickly slam shut.

 *~*

Nicaise wasn’t stupid. He knew a bribe when he saw one. He also knew a _good_ bribe when he saw one and a tub of Ben &Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie was definitely up there.

Unfortunately said tub of chocolate was not in his hands but in the hands of Jord.

‘What do you want?’ asked Nicaise with suspicion, eyeing the social-worker who was standing in Nicaise’s room, the closed door at his back.

‘I don’t want anything more than to hang out with you and eat this tub of ice-cream,’ said Jord.

‘Cut the crap Jord. What do I have to do to get the ice-cream?’

‘Nicaise, in twenty minutes a detective is going to show up and she’s going to ask you some questions,’ said Jord.

‘Oh for fuck’s sake,’ said Nicaise.

‘And I want very much for you to answer her questions… _truthfully.’_

‘And you’ll what, give me _half_ a tub of ice cream?’ asked Nicaise derisively.

‘Don’t be silly, this tub is yours, I’ve got another one downstairs for me.’

‘Too right I get a whole tub.’

‘Nicaise, _please_ , it’s really important okay? I promise you, this detective isn’t like that last police officer-‘

‘-Good cos he was a dickhead.’

‘She’s really nice, I’ve talked to her already. But it’s really important you answer her questions okay, because we need to know what’s been happening.’

Nicaise was sharp; he heard the word: ‘Who’s _we?’_

Jord paused, ‘Me, the detective and Ms Halvik.’

‘ _Halvik?’_

Ms Halvik was the head of children’s services in the borough and essentially Jord’s boss. Whereas Nicaise would put up with Jord because he at least was trying to help Nicaise and trying to make the foster home a mildly less shittier place to be than it was, Nicaise laid the blame for the whole fucked-up system squarely at Ms Halvik’s feet. She was the head of the system and the system sucked _dick._

 _‘_ Nicaise, don’t loose it, please,’ said Jord.

‘Why is SHE here?’

‘Because we’ve had some information which we need you to tell us if it is true or not, okay?’

‘What? What information?’

Jord paused again, not looking at Nicaise, ‘It’s come from Laurent….he, he’s spoken to the police and told them some quite serious things-‘

‘Why? Why would he do that?’ Nicaise felt a thrum of fear now, he didn’t know what Laurent had told the police. _Was this about when I rang the hospital? Richard was so, so mad…Well that’s the last time I ever feel sorry for Laurent. It was stupid to let slip to Richard that Laurent was doing better. Of course Richard would be mad, everything was complicated because of the inheritance._

Nicaise wondered if he was in trouble _. Does Laurent know something? Does Laurent know Richard is going to dis-inherit him_? Nicaise wasn’t stupid, Laurent had been trying to butter him up, get close to him before the accident. _He’d wanted to know Richard’s secrets. It could only be about the money._ _What else could it be?_ _What did he say to the police?_

Jord seemed to sense his agitation, _‘_ Nicaise listen to me. This is very important, you need to tell the detective everything you know okay?’

Nicaise bit his lip. _I’ll keep Richard’s secrets. I can’t get into trouble if I don’t say anything. Richard will come back and when he does he’ll protect me._

‘Two tubs,’ he said.

‘Deal,’ replied a relieved looking Jord.

*~*

‘Now Nicaise, it’s important that you understand that you are not in trouble here okay?’ said the female Detective, D. I. McCauley, ‘I’m just here to have a chat with you about a couple of things so we can try and find out what’s been happening with Mr DeVere and with Laurent, okay?’ She was sat the other side of Jord’s desk from Nicaise and had a notepad and pen out ready to take notes.

Nicaise wanted to send Jord and Ms Halvik dirty looks from across the room but as he was trying to portray a character of innocence, he restrained himself. He was playing up on the fact that he looked younger than he was; widening his eyes and using delicate body language, actions he knew softened adults towards him.

‘Yes’ he replied, grateful his voice was still that of a child’s.

The Detective nodded and began to ask him a few questions about his foster history and so it wasn’t long before Richard came up. Nicaise lost patience, ‘Look I know what you all want me to say. That Richard is evil and he’s mean to me but he isn’t! It isn’t like that, he cares about me, he _loves_ me.’

That was when Jord spoke up, ‘Nicaise, listen, Richard might have said that but-‘

‘-But what?’ cried Nicaise, jumping up from the chair he’d been sitting on, ‘What? I’m not supposed to believe him when he tells me these things? Richard told me he loves me and he _does._ ’

‘Okay Nicaise, it’s okay,’ said McCauley, putting her hands out in a calming gesture. ‘Can you please sit down? We haven’t even properly started.’

Nicaise tried to sit down as gracefully as he could. He wasn’t doing a very good job of trying to be innocent and angelic-like. _Stay calm_ he told himself.

The Detective then proceeded to ask him more questions about when he’d first met Richard aged 9, and how the arrangement had worked between them, Nicaise spending daytime with Richard, then staying at his house for a little while and then most of the time during term-time, Nicaise only coming back to the foster home when Richard had to travel on business.

‘But he’s supposed to be finished soon, and then I’ll be staying with him all the time,’ said Nicaise, ‘And I can finally leave this dump.’

‘Nicaise,’ warned Jord, but it was a lacklustre protest; like he knew how difficult it was to live here when you’re a kid no-one wants.

‘And so over time you met Laurent DeVere?’ asked McCauley.

‘Yeah,’ replied Nicaise, ‘But I never liked him, he was always rude.’

‘Rude?’ asked McCauley, ‘How was he rude?’

‘He was always so _nosey_ ’ replied Nicaise, thinking back to the family gatherings where he’d come into contact with Laurent, thankfully not very often, but then, over time, becoming increasingly common…. _huh_ thought Nicaise _I hadn’t noticed that before._

‘He said he hated family gatherings but then he was suddenly at every single one. And he was always trying to talk to me.’

‘That doesn’t sound rude..’ chipped in McCauley.

‘Well hang on…he’d ask me all these questions, like you are now. How long have I known Richard, what’s the living arrangement, had I ever gone on trips with Richard, had I ever met Richard’s friend’s-‘

Detective McCauley’s eyes narrowed, ‘Had you ever met Richard’s friends?’ she asked, ‘That’s an unusual question to ask isn’t it?’

‘No’ said Nicaise, pulling a face ‘I’ve met Richard’s friends, they’re all super nice, they got me gifts and stuff. Richard too, he gets me stuff all the time, really nice stuff. Because he’s really kind.’

‘What sort of gifts?’ asked McCauley and Nicaise was more than happy to answer this question, so he rattled off a list of the most expensive presents Richard had got him.

‘What are the names of Richard’s friends?’ asked McCauley, interrupting Nicaise mid-flow as he was talking about the latest games console Richard had bought him a couple of weeks ago.

‘Oh um, I cant remember all their names…but they were really nice,’ he said, distracted by thinking about when he’d next get to play on the x-box; it was at Richard’s house. _When will I get to go back there?_

‘Try to remember Nicaise,’ prompted the Detective.

Nicaise scrunched his face as he thought back to one of the evening parties, ‘Umm Guion? And Govart? I think… I honestly can’t remember the rest.’

‘Okay, not to worry, that’s good for now,’ said the Detective.

‘They’re not in trouble?’ asked Nicaise, suddenly thinking that perhaps he shouldn’t have said anything.

‘Not if they haven’t done anything wrong,’ said McCauley, which wasn’t the same as saying they weren’t in trouble Nicaise noticed.

‘Now Nicaise, I wanted to have a chat with you about something Laurent has told us,’ said McCauley, and Nicaise would have been an idiot if he didn’t notice the shift in tension in the room. Suddenly, Ms Halvik, from where she’d been picking at her nails in the corner, suddenly sat up in her chair, paying attention.

‘What has he said?’ asked Nicaise, warily _. It’ll be something about how mean Richard has been to him. Well, he only has himself to blame about losing his inheritance. I don’t feel sorry for him, even if he has been in a coma. Whatever happened at the hospital I’m sure it was all Laurent’s fault. Richard will be back soon and will explain everything._

‘Well, Laurent has said that when he was about your age, that his Uncle Richard used to buy him lots of gifts too,’ said Detective McCauley.

‘Bet they weren’t as nice as mine,’ he said smugly.

McCauley gave him a tight smile, ‘Maybe not,’ she said, ‘But Laurent also said that his uncle used to tell him that he loved him and only him. And then Laurent said that sometimes he would touch him.’

Nicaise froze at her words. He felt strange, as if the world had narrowed down. _No. That’s not true. Richard doesn’t….Laurent wasn’t…._

The Detective had carried on talking but he couldn’t hear her words properly; they seemed distant. ‘…And not in the way an Uncle should touch his nephew, okay? These were not hugs, these were touches of his private parts-‘

_No…_

‘-and sometimes his uncle would come into his bed at night-’

_No…_

_‘-_ and sometimes his uncle would have sex with him-’

  _No..._

‘And of course, this isn’t right. An adult shouldn’t be touching a child like that, it’s illegal and wrong-

_No no no. This isn’t true. What you’re saying- Laurent is saying- is wrong…_

‘-And so Nicaise, we want to know whether Richard has touched you or-‘

‘-You’re lying,’ he said out-loud, abruptly.

_This can’t be true._

‘Nicaise-‘

 _‘_ You’re lying’ he repeated.

‘Nicaise, this is what Laurent has told us, he told us what his uncle, what Richard used to do to him when he was you’re age and Nicaise-‘

‘HE’S LYING!’ screamed Nicaise, standing up suddenly and making his chair fall backwards. ‘IT’S NOT TRUE. Laurent is a _whore!_ RICHARD LOVES _ME’._

There was only silence in the room. Nicaise looked from the shocked face of the Detective to the horrified face of Jord and the angered face of Ms Halvik and fled.

He was running, running out of Jord’s office, feet slapping hard on the old, tiled hallway floor. And then he was taking the stairs at full pelt, up, up, up along the landing and up the next flight of stairs, passing a few small children on the way. Then he was at his room and he slammed the door behind him, only pausing to push a chair under the doorknob.

He lunged straight for his bed, reaching down behind it and jamming his fingers into a crack in the wall, dislodging the skirting board until a small hole appeared and he snatched the slim phone from within.

He struggled to type in the password to unlock the phone, his fingers shaking so much. His eyes were welling up as his breathing, still quick from the dash up the stairs, intensified as he navigated to files>videos and clicked on the link.

Then there was hammering on his door and Jord demanding to be let in.

‘Nicaise! Nicaise! Let me in!’

_The video was playing, it was shaky at first as a version of Nicaise on the screen set it off recording then propped it up on a shelf. Then there were a few seconds of silence as video-Nicaise settled himself on the bed, wearing nothing but his underwear._

‘Nicaise, if you don’t open this door now-‘

_In the video the door to the bedroom opened and in walked a man with greying blonde hair, he was dressed in a suit but upon entering his hands almost immediately dropped to his belt._

The real-life Nicaise held his breath, knowing what was to come.

_‘Ahh my sweet-sweet boy,’ said Richard in greeting to Nicaise laying on the bed. ‘Do you love me?’ asked video-Nicaise as Richard climbed onto the bed. The man grinned, ‘I love you more than anything,’ before leaning down and kissing the boy on the covers._

Nicaise mouthed the words along as the tears overflowed and trailed down his cheeks, rendering the world blurry. The phone fell out of his hands and onto the floor, just as Jord forced open the door.

There was shocked silence in the room, broken only by the moans of a man and child coming from the small, black phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the horrible ending to this chapter, it gets better after this I promise. Nicaise will be looked after and supported dont you worry. I hope it's obvious here but Nicaise unfortunately doesnt think the sexual abuse he's been receiving is anything wrong, he's brainwashed into thinking it's 'normal' because Richard loves him. Obviously it is vile and Nicaise will, with support, be able to recognise it is wrong and come to terms with it.
> 
> Hello Readers!  
> It's nice to be back :)   
> So it's been awhile! After the last update things went very downhill health-wise and I ended up being hospitalised for a short while. Then I took a very well-deserved and much needed holiday and break. But I am happy to say I am on new medication which seems to be working very well and I feel better than I have in over a year, long may it continue.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the lovely, kind and supportive comments you have been leaving, I read them all and they really have been cheering me on this past year where a lot of things have sucked majorly. I hope I can continue this story to the high standard you enjoy. I very much enjoy writing it.
> 
> Next chapter: It's Christmas and New Year for the gang. Let's hope they have a merry time!


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